


Six Years

by WritingIsMyCoffee, zumbah_plumbah



Series: Six Years and Beyond [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Anxiety, Blood, Canon Trans Character, Depression, Divorce, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Flashbacks, Funerals, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mentions of a past fight, Some Swearing, The Kravitz/Taako is a very slow burn, The major character death tag is for Julia since it's mentioned a thousand times, Trans Female Character, with some fluff in there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-11-16 15:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 44,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11255331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingIsMyCoffee/pseuds/WritingIsMyCoffee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/zumbah_plumbah/pseuds/zumbah_plumbah
Summary: Six years ago, Taako was kicked out of culinary school for an altercation between him and his roommate, forever crushing his lifelong dream of becoming a chef.Six years ago, Merle was fiddling with the ring on his finger that he no longer needed to wear.Six years ago, Magnus was sitting beside a hospital bed and holding his wife's hand.Now, Taako is burdened with the struggles of raising a ten year old. Merle is wondering whether or not he wants that ring to become an obligation. Magnus is struggling to overcome the grieving process. For the past six years, the three of them have been running away from their problems and the reasons that brought them to where they currently are. Now they will be forced to face the music and deal with what happened in the past in order to move on.





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> WOO BOY HERE IT IS
> 
> My wonder, amazing friend and beta MLA and I have been working on this since JANUARY folks. Countless phone calls and text exchanges were made in the creation of this fic to decide how the plot should go, what songs should be included on Taako's mixtape, and what symbolic song Magnus should have as Julia's ringtone. MLA, it's been a real blast and I thank you for all your help.
> 
> IMPORTANT TO NOTE: When we started writing this, The Suffering Game had literally just kicked off and Chalupa was still just a theory on tumblr. That means our favorite (or at least my favorite) Taaco twin is not included in this story. The same goes for Barry. BUT there is a sequel fic planned to follow this one that WILL include a whole lotta Blupjeans. That fic is set to be created not too long from now but will not be posted until this fic is done with updates.
> 
> Speaking of updates, a new chapter will be posted every Tuesday (There isn't a set time every Tuesday but it'll most likely be before relatively early in the day). There is no set date for when the sequel will be uploaded. I'll get back to you on that.
> 
> We worked really hard on this (okay, maybe not 'really hard'. That makes it sound like we were writing a thesis. But we sure did have a lot of fun with it) and we hope you enjoy!

_Six Years Ago_

Taako shoves his hands into his desk drawer in a blind rage, scrambling to grab onto whatever items he can and throw them out as quickly as possible. Crumpled-up papers, chewed-up pencils, and a worn-out agenda go flying into the nearby suitcase lying just underneath the drawer, waiting to catch whatever objects Taako sends its way. Only a few miscellaneous items miss the target, rolling across the floor and coming to a halt in various places of the dorm room. There’s a quiet clank as a broken ballpoint pen knocks against the suitcase’s zipper before colliding with the carpet below.

Dust, hair, and crumbs rub against his fingertips the farther in he reaches. Something that feels like a stale Cheeto puff crunches under his grip before it’s tossed into the suitcase with the rest of his junk.

The anxiety running through Taako’s veins puts an immense pressure on his chest, nearly collapsing his lungs. Each breath he takes sounds like a pant and feels like it takes more effort than it should. There’s a burning knot in his throat and a sharp sting in the corners of his eyes. His knees are shaking, almost to the point where they would give out. He almost wants them to give out, if just to allow him a break from this mad-dash of a cleanout he’s trying to accomplish.

But if he wants to get out of his dorm room before his deadline, he can’t afford to stop now.

 _This sucks_ , he concludes angrily in his mind. _This fucking sucks. I just wanted to cook, that’s all I asked for. I just wanted to cook the same meal I’ve cooked a thousand times before. Where the fuck did i do wrong-?_

Something stabs through his index finger and Taako reels his arm out of the drawer. He lets out a strangled curse and brings his hand closer to his face. A red thumbtack, a simple red thumbtack, has somehow managed to pierce its way through his skin. A deeper red liquid trickles out from underneath the puncture wound.

“Great, just fucking-one, two… _three_.”

He pulls the thumbtack out just as quickly as it went in. More blood rushes out of the small wound. Pressed for time, he nonchalantly pushes the wounded finger into his sleeve. He can’t care less at this point. He quickly returns back to work.

An hour passes and the dorm room still looks too lived in to be considered packed up. Vintage wrestling posters and family photos are still taped to the walls, along with his “Recipe of the Month” calendar. The small twin bed he’s slept in for the past half year is completely covered by his rainbow bed sheets. Various cook books sit untouched on his bookshelf.

Once the desk is mostly spotless, Taako moves to his closet and practically rips all of his clothes off of their hangers. There’s a loud snap as the plastic keeping the garments from hitting the floor breaks under the force pulling against them. He ignores the sound and keeps moving, shoving everything he can into his suitcase, not bothering to waste his time folding anything.

He spares just a moment to pull his phone out of his pocket and check the time. 4:43. Only seventeen minutes until it’s all over. There’s not enough time to pack everything away.

Taako lets out an almost winded grunt before he throws his phone to the side and starts moving at an inhuman speed. He grabs whatever he can and forces it into his suitcase, stacking items on top of each other and shoving them deep into the pockets of his bag. If something refuses to fit, he simply tosses it to the side, not having enough time to give it a damn. He knows he doesn’t have enough time, he _knows_ this, but the knowledge isn’t going to stop him from giving it his _god damn best_.

Then his phone goes off and he comes to a complete stop.

At first, Taako thinks it’s his alarm and his body tenses at the thought of the dorm staff bursting into his room, ready to throw him out.  In a few moments, it’ll all be over and his dream of becoming a professional culinary chef will be officially dead.

But there’s only one person in his contacts whose ringtone is set to a Kenny Chesney song.

He throws himself over to his phone, his hands shaking as he grasps the small, rectangular device up to his face. Merle’s wrinkled, smiling face shines brightly on the screen. His body is dressed in a horrid pair of jodhpurs and plaid garters printed in a black, green, and red. The bottom of the screen cuts off before his infamous combo of socks and sandals can be seen.

It’s 4:55.

Taako swipes the call button to the right and brings his phone to his ear.

“…Merle?” his voice wavers.

“Taako, it’s…it’s Julia.”

He’s out the door mere moments later.


	2. Hodge Podge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cool road trip, a fun time for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends, I'm MLA. Grace's computer got wriggity wriggity wrecked, so you're stuck with this stanky goblin for a while. I hope you like this chapter, it's definitely one of my favorites.

_ Now _

Fragile goosebumps start to trail up Taako’s arm, causing him to reach over and turn down the truck’s air conditioning unit. It doesn’t take long for the ancient automobile to turn into a meat locker even after so many years of use. Part of him wonders if that means something’s wrong with his ride and if he should take it into a shop to have it looked at. The other part of him doesn’t really care.

He does, however, care that the current pop song that starts blasting on the radio sounds like a thousand dying cats singing together in unison. He quickly flips to another station.

“No, not this one,” a voice from the backseat chimes in.

“Okay. “Taako changes the channel. “How about this one?”

“Hmm...nah.”

He changes it again. “This one?”

“Nope.”

And again. “This one?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

And again. “ _ This one? _ ”

“No, definitely not this one.”

“Well, Ango, we’re running out of stations that don’t sound like static. Either choose one or we’re riding in silence, pumpkin.”

The sound of Angus’ feet hitting the bottom of his seat is nearly drowned out by the screeching of the 90’s rap song blasting out of the truck’s speakers. “Can you put in Hodge Podge?”

Taako lets out an amused snort. “You wanna listen to Hodge Podge  _ again _ ?”

From his vantagepoint in the rearview mirror, he sees Agnus shaking his head excitedly.

“Alright, bud,” he grins as his hand gropes underneath the console lid. Pushing past a stack of extra napkins and chapstick, he grasps a flimsy plastic CD case and tugs it out. As carefully as he can, since he’s driving and whatnot, he pushes the CD out of its case and slides it into the slot right below the radio channel buttons.

A moment later, an 80’s synth beat is pulsing throughout the vehicle and a smile slowly grows over Angus’ face. Taako smirks at the glimpse of the little boy’s joy he catches in the rearview mirror.

His Hodge Podge mixtape is, quite literally, a ‘hodgepodge’ of songs he could just groove to. Angus’ voice chirps up next to George Michael’s as he sings the opening lines of the song he has probably heard a hundred times before. 

“Call me good, call me bad, call me anything you want to baby!” Angus’ singing causes an outbreak of laughter to come out of Taako. Though it’s certainly not the first time he’s heard the kid sing, the emotion he feels because of it is just as strong as it was the first time he heard his son sing.

Eventually, a red light forces them to a stop, prompting them to start singing the chorus in harmony. “Babayyy I’M YOUR MAN!” Hodge Podge is practically made to be bonded over. 

Debatably, I’m Your Man is not the most appropriate song for little Ango’s ears to hear, but Taako isn’t the kind of parental figure that goes through the effort to censor everything his child hears and/or sees. Besides, it’s all just music in his mind, and little Angus will not be sheltered from George Michael’s angelic voice.

The light turns green and Taako is forced to let Angus carry out his music career as a soloist (at least until the next red light). George Michael continues his rhapsody for another minute or so until his voice slowly fades away and is replaced with an acoustic guitar. The sweet melody of the guitar blends into the voices of an autotune boy band to form a classic love song, or possible break-up song.

“TELL ME WHY-” Taako belts out.

“AIN’T NOTHING BUT A HEARTBREAK!” Angus follows up.

“TELL ME WHY-”

“AIN’T NOTHING BUT A MISTAKE!”

“Tell me why-” Taako lowers his voice to match the dynamics of the song.

“I never wanna hear you say,” Angus follows suit.

The softer volume doesn’t last long though as the two quickly scream at the top of their lungs, “I WANT IT THAT WAY!” and shortly afterwards start laughing hysterically.

Hodge Podge continues to go through the wide variety of music genres burned onto it as Taako and Angus continue to sing along. Over about an hour, the glorious music continues to blast throughout the old truck.The two of them reach for the high notes and go for the low notes (none of which are even close to being in tune) and continue to sing until their voices are hoarse. It’s these moments that they both cherish the most. Just the small things that make them both smile.

As the last notes of Deja vu wrap up the tape, Taako turns down the volume before Hodge Podge can start itself up again. “Y’know, we should really consider starting a band, kiddo,” his voice rasps to Angus.

The kid in the backseat starts to giggle. “You always say that after Hodge Podge.”

“No, I’m serious!” Taako grins. “Your uncle Magnus plays a mean folk guitar. The two of us could rope him into the sickest garage band of all time.”

“What about grandpa?”

“Grampie Merle? He probably plays the spoons or something. We’d just make him our roadie.”

The answer is rewarded with another giggle fit from Angus. “You’d be the lead singer, dad.”

“Hmmm,” Taako hums. “I was thinkin’ maybe I’d be more along the lines of a drummer-nah, screw that. Of course I’d be the lead singer.” As they approach an upcoming impasse, he quickly turns on his turn signal. “What about you, sweet pea? Who do you see yourself as?”

“I-I don’t know. Maybe stage manager?” Angus replies.

“What?!” Taako gasps, “You don’t wanna be up their on stage with us? Up close to all of our raging fans?” 

“Well, I think I’d get too scared if I was up on stage...and then I’d forget my lines and get booed at and then I’d ruin the show and-”

“Whoa, pumpkin! Slow down there!” Taako spares a moment to turn his head back to his anxious son. “Y’know we’re not actually in a band, right? And how d’ya know if you even have stage fright or not? Your talents have yet to be shared with the whole, wide world.”

“I was in a play once,” Angus’ voice dips down.

“Wha-WHEN?! I don’t remember ever being invited to it.” Taako’s outburst is distracting enough to almost make him swerve. He quickly jerks the steering wheel back into place and keeps them on  the right side of the road.

“Um...it was in Neverwinter…” Angus trails off.

“Oh,” Taako replies blankly. “Well, sweetie...whatever happened on stage that day, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” 

Angus’s curling frown says otherwise.

Taako’s fingers tap against the steering wheel desperately. “Anyway,” he sighs, “he got-yeesh, I don’t know how long.” His eyes dart over to the tiny GPS sitting on the dashboard. “Like, teennn more hours. Yikes. That’s-woooooooo...yeah, that’s a long time, buckaroo. Hey, how about you pull out some ol’ Caleb Cleveland, my dude?”

The dark blanket of gloom that is covering Angus’s face slips off, revealing a much more cheerful smile. “Which one?”

“Ah, I’ll let you decide, Ango-Mango.”

“Where-” Angus stops himself as he zips open his backpack, which is sitting right between his knees. “Where did we leave off?”

“I’d say,” Taako has to think for a second, “Caleb and his friends were just about to go investigate the creepy abandoned animal shelter.”

“Be more specific, dad.” Angus starts flipping through the thick hardback clasped in his hands.

“Uh...I think Scoobert and Raggy-no! Raggy and Adrian were arguing on whether or not to actually break into the place or not.”

Angus comes to a halt. “Was it before Raggy starts to break down or after?”

“Raggy does what?!”

“Before then.”

Taako isn’t the kind of person who listens to audiobooks, or the one to read in general. At least currently. A decade ago, he couldn’t keep his head out of a book, even ones he wasn’t particularly invested in. Especially cook-books. Now, however, not so much.

That being said, listening to Angus turn himself into the narrator of Caleb Cleveland's misadventures is quite enjoyable for him. It makes the dread of driving for a full half day seem less infuriating (though his aching knees are there to remind him of what a pain the travel is). As the story of the child cop goes through many twists and turns, Taako maneuvers their truck down highways and interpasses.

Angus has the stamina to continue reading out loud until the end of the book. By then, they only have around ten more hours to go and the sun is slowly sinking into the ground, turning the sky a vibrant orange and pink.

Taako is a big advocate of the “taking one trip” model. In his mind, the prospect of renting out some run-down hotel from the 70’s for a night was out of the question. All they needed was a cooler full of snacks and an occasional stop at the 7/11. 

From the corner of his eye, Taako spots the kid trying to stifle a yawn in the rearview mirror.

“Hey, how about you try to catch some Z’s before we reach uncle Magnus’ house, huh buddy?”

“I’m not tired,” Angus protests weakly.

“Uh huh, sure you aren’t. Just go to sleep. I’ll wake you up once we’re getting close.”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” Taako swears, leaning his head in so that Angus can see his warm smile in the mirror.

“Okay then.” Angus slowly tugs off his ascot cap and tucks it into his backpack. He then pulls out his pillow pet, which is designed to look like an adorable cow, and settles it into the nook between his head and the car window. “Goodnight, dad.”

“G’night Angus. Sweet dreams.”

A lengthy, slow eight hours passes by as the drive continues long into the night. The sky is completely pitch black with the stars acting as the only source of natural light to aid Taako, along with the taillights from the other cars, to help him see. The inside of the truck is mostly silent, minus Agnus’ soft snoring. 

Around two in the morning, Taako starts to feel his eyelids grow heavy. As quietly as he can, he pulls into a nearby gas station and purchases seven cups of coffee. The caffeine is enough to keep him awake for the rest of the trip.

5 AM rolls around and the welcome sign near the Virginian border has never looked so relieving to Taako before. It reads,” Welcome to Virginia,” in big, bold letters. “Virginia is for lovers,” is printed just underneath it in a smaller font.

“Home sweet home,” Taako sighs.

They’ve made it to the promised land, but it’s still going to be another hour or so until they’ve reached Lynchburg, their final destination.

Angus awakes from his slumber immediately after they cross into Roanoke. He raises a small hand to his face and rubs his eyes from his lingering fatigue.

“Morning, cherry pie,” Taako hums from the front seat.

“Good morn’n,” Angus yawns. “How close ‘re we?”

“About forty five minutes until we’re in Sideburns territory.” Taako takes a hand off of the steering wheel and reaches for his phone. He holds it out behind him and Angus takes it from him. “Go ahead and text your uncle Magnus for me, will ya? Tell him he better be ready unload all our stuff.”

Angus lets out a giggle. “Okay.”

What should have been a simple one-and-done text conversation with a normal person turns into a long parade of passing messages between little Angus McDonald and Magnus Burnsides. Taako’s phone is practically erupting with notifications once they pass into Lynchburg.

“Uncle Magnus asks if you’ve added the pink azaleas to your catalog yet, dad,” Angus informs him from the backseat.

“Tell him I’m literally pulling into his neighborhood right now, and he can wait a few god damn seconds!”

Magnus’ rustic cottage is located in the middle of a cul de sac surrounded by tall poplar trees and the Blue Ridge mountains to the north. Thick, green patches of grass and troublesome plots of dirt run all the way up to the front porch. Dead leaves of brown and sickly crimson lay limply in the front yard, neutrally waiting for a stiff breeze to blow them away.

As Taako rolls into into the driveway, he takes notice of the cottage’s condition. The yard hasn’t been raked recently but that’s forgivable, seeing how domesticated the area is. A fresh coat of red paint has been applied to the front door and the windows look like they’ve been washed recently.

Taako almost allows himself to sigh with relief until he spots the rocking chair sitting on the porch with a thick blanket cloaked overtop of it.

_ It’s gonna be one of those years, isn’t it?  _ He thinks solemnly.

Before he can even put the truck into park, a large, burly man slams open the door to the wood cottage and comes barreling down towards them with a gigantic smile on his face.

Angus quickly gathers his belongings and jumps out of the truck. His little legs carry him all the way to his ecstatic uncle, who easily sweeps the small child into his muscley arms.

Taako tucks his keys into his pocket and climbs out of the front seat. “MAGS! DON’T SQUEEZE HIM TO DEATH!” he warns playfully.

“SORRY!” Magnus sets Angus down onto the ground carefully and ruffles his hair. Taako saunters over to the two of them, his knees cramping up a little from sitting for so long. Before he can even offer his brother a simple hello, he’s swooped up into a massive bear hug.

“Maggo-! Can’t-! Breathe-!” Taako wheezes.

Magnus gives a hearty laugh. “It’s nice to see you too.”


	3. Push Comes to Shove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a lot of angsty flashbacks really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy it's Grace. My computers up and running again, several hundred dollars later........
> 
> Thank you all for your positive responses! It makes our day to see you all enjoying this little project the two of us have had so much fun with!
> 
> Also if any of you read that Patience fic I wrote last night in some kind of sleep-deprived fever dream, I apologize for how many errors there were. I believed I found all of them but hit me up if I missed one or two.
> 
> If the link doesn't work (bc I still have no idea how to use ao3): http://archiveofourown.org/works/11395257

_Six and a Half Years Ago_

 

He remembers the first time his aunt let him cook with her. She’d be so proud of him now. He is going to do what she taught him. Taako has been accepted into culinary school and he’s never been happier. This is what he is going to do for a living and by god, he is going to rock it. He feels like hugging his arms around his knees and sitting there until he’d gotten down from this joyful high. He’s on top. He wishes he could pack his bags right now and be free.

The three months of summer following his acceptance feel like twelve eternities. Excitement, nervousness, intimidation, childlike wonder, and a hint of existential fear rule over him for those eons that lead up to a six hour drive to the city and a few awkward interactions with some overworked volunteers that led him to a smaller-than-expected room. That room is like landing in a new galaxy. A whole new world for him to strike the match of success and hope the flame burnt eternally.

Then he meets Sazed. Sazed seemed to be the thing he needed. When he needed advice, Sazed was there. When he needed help on schoolwork, Sazed was there. Most of all, he was there when Taako needed a friend.

_He wished he could take all of those feelings back._

“Hey,” Sazed asked, half asleep on the crappy futon that took up more room than it needed to, “do you remember what the hell Garfield was talking about during chem?”

Taako rolled his head back to look up at the ceiling, “He said a lot of stuff, my man,” he sighed.

Chemistry was probably the class Taako struggled most with. It’s all formulas and math. Taako is more of a “listen to the recording he took in class about twelve different ways to make pie crusts flakier for two hours on loop” kind of guy.

Both boys are on the verge of sleep with homework yet to be done, but that’s okay. A warm feeling of safety and comfort envelopes Taako on the ratty futon.

    _Why couldn’t he just forget about him?_

    Friendship is important to him. Without friends to push him through, he’d never leave his dorm. Sazed gives him that push.

    _Push comes to shove._

 

 

_Five Years Ago_

 

The Burnsides residence has never looked more depressing to Taako than it does now as he pulls up into the driveway.

Carefully parking his new truck next to Merle’s minivan, he starts to notice just how hard the past year has been on the place. The trash can outside has been turned over and abandoned. A metal dog food bowl lies empty in the dead grass in the front lawn. The rose bushes that were planted a little over two years ago look like they’ve age a thousand years. Their flowers are wild and unkempt, the leaves surrounding them in desperate need of a trim. It seems as if nature is mourning with him. From Taako’s vantage point, he can see the old tire swing hanging from the tree in the back yard dangling dangerously, as the thin rope holding it up threatens to snap any moment now.

His steps towards the front door are slow and shaky. As he inches closer to the front door, his ears catch the low undertone of a gruff voice. The speaker’s words waver with a sympathy they’ve always been afraid to use.

Taako stops in his tracks. Once he steps into the house, all he’s going to hear is the usual, “Oh, so sorry for your loss,” and “We’re here for you,” spells. The whole situation is going to become a suffocating cloud of sadness, never ending until a seven full days pass.

 _Just open the door_ , Taako orders himself. _It’s not hard to do. Just open it._

He can’t leave now, not when Magnus is suffering so much. 365 days after the fact and his brother has only fallen deeper into the pit of despair. Magnus needs all the help and reassurance he can get right now. Taako’s hand reaches for the doorknob.

A voice, this one younger and ladened with agony starts to speak after the gruff one falls silent. The speaker sounds like they’re on the verge of tears, teetering on the edge of completely falling apart. Taako’s heart stops, then grows incredibly heavy.

This is an entirely foreign terrain. His brother, whom he loves, is a prime optimist.

He has to remind himself what happened. How could he expect so much from his brother when everything had been swept away from him?

 

~~~~~

 

They’re sitting in the living room of the rough-looking cottage. Just like the outside of the house, the inside is in just as much disarray, if not more. Every surface is coated in a fine layer of dust, from the coffee table to the stack of deserted magazines sitting on top of it. Piles of dirty laundry are discarded around the unswept carpet floor. Placed on top of the wood-burning fireplace is a plate with a half-eaten piece of pizza on it.

 _At least he’s eating,_ Merle thinks.

The latter is true when it comes to himself. Merle hasn’t eaten in about a week. Most of the time it was because he simply didn’t want to. Nothing could fill the hole now left by circumstance.

“Hey there buddy,” Merle smiles uneasily, breaking the tense atmosphere around them. “What d’ya say to us helping you clean up this place-?”

“It’s fine. I can clean it by myself,” Magnus cuts him off. After a beat he follows with an inaudible, “Sorry.”

An outsider looking in would see a man stricken by grief, struggling to move on with his life after losing someone dear to him. But when it comes to Magnus, this loss is so much more than just a, “road block.”

Magnus Burnsides is the kind of person who clings to the ones he care about like a lifeline. Someone like him puts everyone else’s needs before his own and doesn’t apologize for it. He radiates a cheerful energy around him like a heater. His smiles can brighten anyone up in a bad day, his hugs leave you gasping for breath and craving more affection. Magnus is the most compassionate person that God has ever given breath to.

That same compassion is also the reason a person like Magnus takes loss like a bullet to the heart.

He knew Julia was sick when he married her, but the inevitable destroyed him just the same. The two had a whole life awaiting them; they had planned to buy a dog together, start a family of their own. A whole list of opportunities and adventures had been waiting for the two of them, but it was barely a quarter of the way through the year until they were forced to move Julia into a hospital.

It certainly hadn’t helped that his father-in-law and dearest friend, Steven, had passed the year before from the same illness. It was like tearing open the freshstitches on a festering wound.

“Magnus,” Merle’s voice falters, “The reason we-I came out here was to help you. J-just let us-let me-”

“It’s fine, dad,” Magnus repeats, harsher this time. Merle finally takes notice of how awful the place smells. A rotting stench of old garage and sweat lashes out at his nostrils. It’s safe to assume that Magnus doesn’t fair any better.

It’s evident that both Magnus and the house are in the same state of disrepair and despair. Merle understands. He won’t feel like talking, not when he’s barely capable of keeping himself together. Slowly, he leans off of the couch beneath him and walks over to Magnus. With a gentle hand, he pats his son on the back and pulls him into a heartfelt hug. Usually Magnus is the one giving the supportive hugs. He gave one to Taako after he returned home from his expellment. He gave one to Merle after he finished signing his divorce papers for the second time in his life. He’s basically a shock blanket of affection.

This isn’t his job now.

“I’m sorry buddy.” It’s the only words Merle can think of that can possibly, somehow get through to him. The only words that Merle is comfortable with using. After all, most of his mistakes have come from having the wrong words come out of his mouth.

Magnus doesn’t move. His arms remain frozen to the armrests of his rocking chair. It’s not until Merle starts rubbing his hand back and forth down his back that he finally returns the embrace. His hold on the old man is tight enough to cut off Merle’s breathing.

“Thank you,” Magnus chokes out. As he tucks his head into Merle’s shoulder, Merle feels a few faint drops of hot liquid seep into his clothing. Magnus starts to tremble.

A sudden knock on the door causes them both to jump. Magnus pulls himself out of Merle’s arms and quickly tries to wipe away his tears before the other man notices. From the tall silhouette shining through the window, Merle assumes he knows who’s waiting outside.

“I’ll go let Taako in,” Merle announces quietly.

 

~~~~~

 

“Listen...Magnus,” Taako musters out, “You...y-you’re-I know it’s been hard t-this past year t-to....well, it’s been hard.”

If Magnus hears what he’s saying, he doesn’t acknowledge it. Instead he continues washing the dishes with slow, unenergetic hands. Merle and Taako had offered to wash them for him but he declined the offer just as quickly as it was offered to him.

“S-so I was thinking,” Taako continues. “I-well...I was thinking-”

“Just spit it out, Taako,” Magnus snaps, not bothering to look up from the sink.

A shuddery breath rattles out of Taako’s chest. “I was thinking about moving back home.”

Magnus drops the plate that was in his hand into the sink, shattering it.

“Oh geez, Taako-Magnus, let me help you clean that up.” Merle move to jump out of his barstool.

“I got it,” Magnus stops him, his voice lower than before. “What do you mean you want to move back?”

“Um,” Taako flounders, “Well, I don’t really...really know what’s next for me, now that the cooking boat’s sailed off. A-and I think that...that maybe it would be nice if you...-y-you had s-someone close by in case-”

“In case what?” Magnus whips around, his eyes burning with frustration.

Taako freezes under his gaze. “J-just in case you w-wanted some help-”

Magnus turns back around and slams his hand on the counter top. The shockwaves turn the entire cottage silent. “I already told you two,” he nearly whispers, “I don’t need help.”

“Duly noted,” Taako gulps. “But in case you do-”

“But I don’t!” Magnus turns around. “There’s no need to have this conversation because I don’t need help!” He laughs, almost hysterically.

Taako feels vines of agitation start to grow within him. “Listen Magnus, frankly, from what I’ve seen, you’re not doing too great-”

“Taako-” Merle warns him.

“And you’re not gonna get any better unless you accept the fact that you _do_ need help! Look at your house!” Taako jesters to the living space behind him. “Does this look livable to you?”

Magnus doesn’t respond but the grimace on his face continues to grow.

“Magnus, you need help. You can’t go another year living like this-”

“So you’re saying I can’t take care of myself? That I can’t be trusted to keep myself healthy on my own?” Magnus growls.

“ _Yes!_ ” Taako throws his arms up.

“So the only reason you want to move back is to make sure I don’t mess myself up, is that it?!”

“Magnus-” Merle tries to intervene.

“No, I get it.” Magnus’ fists shake at his sides. “You both think I’m not capable of moving on after...after…” Magnus presses his palms to his face and lets out an enraged grunt.

“Buddy,” Merle leans forward in his seat. “We just want to help. This past year...it’s been hard on all of us, especially you. Getting help isn’t some kind of weakness or anything; we just care about your wellbeing.”

Magnus lets his arms drop back to his sides limply. “I don’t want-” he cuts himself off with a sigh. “I don’t _need_ you two to go out of your way to make sure I’m alright.” His gaze shifts to Taako, eyes showing just how tired the conversation is making him. “I don’t need you to move back home just for my sake.”

Taako looks down at the floor, unable to meet his gaze. “What if I want to?”

It takes Magnus a moment to answer.

“Don’t.”

“Magnus-!” Merle protests.

“Don’t come back just because you’re worried about me,” Magnus continues. His voice softens, the familiar warmth that it holds ona good day slowly returning back to him. “Only come back if you really want to...if you think it’ll help you chase your dreams.”

Taako looks back up.

“I know you’re still upset about the ‘cooking boat’,” Magnus walked over from the kitchen counter and leaned against the island Taako and Merle were sitting next to. “Please don’t throw away your future. You just got back on your feet and I...I couldn’t do that to you.”

There’s a knot in Taako’s throat.

“And Merle,” Magnus looks over at the older man, “I know you still need some time to sort yourself out after Hekuba...yeah, you-you need time...”

Merle shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

“So please, you two,” Magnus’s voice starts to shake, “don’t do this just because of me. You guys-no...we all need a little help and...none of us can afford to just put our lives on hold right now.”

Neither of them can find the words to reply with.

“But t-thank you,” Magnus croaks. “I appreciate how w-worried you two were about me. It..it means a lot…”

The silence that follows after the comment consumes them. Three grown men, all sitting around a kitchen island, who all had their futures ripped away from them. Three grown men who are now struggling with finding the next path in their lives.

A burning ache settles within Taako’s chest and he can no longer contain the lump in his throat. He lets out a pathetic chuckle. “Well damn it.” Tears start to pile up in the corners of his eyes. “Now look what you’ve done, Mags. You got me crying, ya happy?”

“Oh Taako,” Magnus smiles warmly. His own eyes start to swell with tears.

Taako leans an arm onto the island and lets his head drop into his hand. “Jesus,” he whispers, trying desperately not to let his voice crack.

A hand lands itself on his back “Just let it out, bud,” Merle reassures him. “I-It’s okay.”

“Psshh, yeah right,” Taako lifts his head up with another sorrowful laugh. “Yeah right it’s fucking okay. Everything's hunky dory.”

“Taako,” Merle sighs.

Taako uses his sleeve as a makeshift tissue and wipes his nose with it. “Y’know...I was betting on you saying I could move back...just so maybe I could get the the ball rolling again.”

“W-what do you mean?” Magnus asks.

Taako ducks his head down to his chest. “I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. The only thing I was banking on was being a pro and now…”

“You could always go back to school?” Magnus suggests but his voice drops off towards the end. They all already know the answer to that question.

“Think I might become a priest,” Merle announces out of the blue.

Taako and Magnus snap their heads towards him.

“W-wait, what?” Taako stammers.

“What brought this on?” Magnus questions.

Merle shrugs nonchalantly. “Well, I figured the only person I can go chasing after now is God himself. At my age, it’s probably best I devote myself to someone before I go wrecking myself again.”

“Merle…” Magnus breathes.

Taako can’t think of anything to respond with.

“Hey, don’t give me those looks,” Merle scolds them. “I’ll figure things out. Always do…”

Taako can tell Magnus is trying to think of a way to tell Merle he’s wrong, or at least to make him feel better. After a moment of concentration, he sighs in defeat. Merle would have to figure things out. His newborn son Mooky is evidence of that fact.

“Where d’ya think we’ll be a few years from now?” Taako asks.

The world seems to fall silent. The corners of Magnus’ lips twitch. Merle clutches his hands together on the top of the island.

“I have no idea,” Magnus admits.

“Hopefully in a better place than we are now,” Merle mumbles.

“Amen,” Taako nods before wiping his nose again.


	4. Hot Chocolate Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to catch up with family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're not ready for the finale this Thursday clap your hands *clap clap*

_ Now _

The plastic cups in Magnus’ hands pulse with heat as he walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. He tries his best to keep the cups balanced since the last thing he wants is to spill hot chocolate all over himself. Not to mention the carpet, which he just vacuumed and shit.

“Here ya go, Ango,” he smiles as he hands the kid one of the cups in his hands.

“Thank you, Sir.” Angus reaches up and takes the drink offered to him.

“Careful, it’s hot,” Magnus warns him as he sits down on the couch. He tries to avoid plopping himself down on the sacked-out Taako beside him. Then again, if he does accidently sit on his brother, he’s probably too out of it to notice.

Angus blows on his hot chocolate before taking his first sip. “Tastes good.”

“Ol’ Burnsides recipe,” Magnus grins. “The trick is to put more chocolate in it than milk.”

His nephew giggles. “I don’t think you put any milk in here at all.”

“Maybe,” Magnus replies slyly. “So tell me what’s up, kiddo! I haven’t seen you in forever. How’s school?”

“Oh, school’s good. I’m doing well in all my classes expect, well...P.E..”

“Are your teachers nice?”

“Oh, yes! Mrs. Lucretia is really nice. She’s always telling me how amazing I am and inspiring me.”

“Have you made any friends?”

Angus takes another sip from his cup before answering. “I try to.”

“Hang in there bud. You’ll find someone you’ll click with,” Magnus reassures him.

“That’s very kind of you to say, Uncle Magnus. But I think the other kids just don’t like me.”

Magnus’ eyebrows knit together. “What makes you say that? You’re smart, sweet, and super fun to hang with. That’s the three S’s that guarantee friends.”

“Technically, that’s three S’s and an F,” Angus corrects him.

“You get what I’m saying.” Magnus suddenly stiffens. “Say, you don’t have any bullies, do you?”

“Just grandpa Merle.”

It takes Magnus a second but soon enough he burst into a full-on belly laugh. “Okay okay, So nothing’s changed too much since last year then?” He wipes away a tear from his eye.

“Not really,” Angus shakes his head. “I got dad into Caleb Cleveland and we’re on book three now.”

“Ooh, that’s the one where Raggy d-”

“SHH!” Angus shoves his index finger to his lips. “He might hear you.”

“Nah, your dad’s out like a light bud.” Magnus lays a hand on Taako’s side. “He won’t hear a word we say.”

“Still, I don’t wanna ruin the ending for him. I wanna finish reading it before the next one comes out.”

“Well, you got about a month left until book four’s out. I think you’ll make it.”

“I hope so. We just made it to the part where they meet the department manager.”

“Yeesh,” Magnus cringes. “You got a long ways left to go.”

“You could say that again,” Angus sighs.

“You got a long ways left to go.”

Angus is careful to wait until he’s done laughing to take another sip. There’s something about the kid’s laugh that warms Magnus’ heart and he’ll take every opportunity given to him to hear it again. And yet, everytime he sees the kid smile, it reminds a heavy heart of what could have been.

“So...hey Angus?” Mangus hesitates.

“Yes, sir?”.

“Has Taako-…has your dad started....has your dad ever cooked for you recently?”

Angus’s eyes wander from Magnus to his dad. “No.”

“Oh...okay. Just wondering.” Magnus pats Taako’s side lightly.

“Uncle Magnus?”

“Yeah, kiddo?” He forces a smile onto his face.

“Why doesn’t my dad cook for me?”

It’s not a question Magnus wants to hear, nor is he qualified to answer. The truth is for Taako’s to tell and not for anyone else to reveal. Especially not when it comes to Angus.

So every time the kid asks him that same question, he gives the same answer. “I don’t know, Angus. M-maybe you should ask him that when...when you’re older.”

Angus stares down at his cup. Through the thin plastic, Magnus can see that there’s just enough hot chocolate left for one last sip. “I’m starting to think maybe I should stop asking.”

“W-why’s that?” Magnus asks.

“Because you always say that. To wait till I’m older. When will I be old enough?”

_ Never, _ Magnus answers internally. As long as Taako harbors himself to his mistakes, the kid will never know the answer he’s been asking for the past four years.

Four years.

_ Wow. Time really does fly. _

It feels like yesterday that Taako walked into his cottage with a little six year old Angus, the unexpected new member of the family. No one knows when Taako had decided to adopt or why for that matter. But from the moment Angus stepped into their lives, no one really needs to know why. From seeing the way Taako brightens up when the kid is around him is evident enough that the choice he made was the right one.

He finds himself remembering something his brother said five years ago to the day.

_ “I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. The only thing I was banking on was being a pro and now…” _

And now he’s a father. A father to a child who also chooses to repress the life they had before the world threw them a curveball.

If Taako decides not to tell Angus about culinary school, then Angus will decide not to tell anyone about Neverwinter. The reality they’ve stuck themselves in is too much of a burden for either of them to bear.

That doesn’t mean either of them are going to open up anytime soon.

“You’ll be old enough eventually,” Magnus settles with. “Until then...I guess just give it time.”

Angus puts on a slight scowl. “Sometimes, I just wish somebody would just tell me already.” The kid chugs down what’s left of his hot chocolate.

_ You and me both, fella. _

~~~~~

Taako wakes up to the smell of fresh calzones and the aftertaste of coffee.

Sluggishly, almost as if he’s covered in molasses, he opens his eyes to see the faint light of the afternoon sun settling in through the curtains hanging on the wall. After blinking a few more times, he lazily tries to sit himself up. His back must pop seventeen different times before he’s leaning upright over the couch. There’s a deep stiffness in his neck that causes him to groan loudly.

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead.”

Taako groans again. “‘Mornin, Mags.”

“Morning? It’s like five PM dude.”

“Shit, really?” Taako tries to dart his head over to the clock hanging on the wall but stops when a sharp bolt of pain runs through his neck. He winces loudly.

“Sore neck?” Magnus asks. He leans over the backside of the couch and lays a hand on Taako’s shoulder.

“Yeah. It hurts real bad.” Magnus lifts his hand away. “Y’know, next time I want to crash at your place, could you please make sure I can at least wait until the air mattress is up next time?” With that, Taako rises up and pops nearly every joint in the process of a cat-like stretch. “ssshh _ IT _ ,” he sighs.  _ Never again. No more couch. _

Magnus slaps him over the back of the head. “Dinner’s ready for you. Angus is already going to town on his plate.”

“Fuck yeah, I’m starving!” Taako bounds off towards the dining room. Magnus follows to the kitchen island where, as promised, a famished Angus is destroying his steaming calzone. Taako pulls out the other bar stool and sits down. Magnus walks over to the other side and stands.

It’s the same way dinner goes each time they visit. Two people sit, Magnus stands. When Merle joins them, Taako sacrifices his seat, turning the sitting arrangement into a two v. two. It’s been this way since Magnus put his dining table under a canvas tarp in his basement.

“Merle called about an hour ago,” Magnus informs him through a mouthful of food.

“He close?” Taako asks after swallowing the lump of food in his throat.

“Should be here around ten. Got caught in traffic for like an hour.”

“Sounds horrible.”

“Three car pile-up apparently.” Magnus takes another huge bite of his calzone. “Set b’ck his trav’l time by a good three h’rs.”

“Grandpa’s okay though, right?” Angus looks up from his plate.

“Your grandpa’s just fine, cherry blossom,” Taako reassures him.

“What about the people in the crash?”

A sixth sense within Taako, something he gained after becoming a parent, catches something wrong with the way Angus asks that question. Something tips him off; maybe the waver in his voice or the apprehensive look in his eyes. He starts putting two and two together.

_ Neverwinter. _

Taako shoots a glance at Magnus and he immediately catches on. “Yeah, everyone was fine buddy-they're all okay.”

Angus’ bottom lip quivers a little. He mumbles a quick, “M’kay,” before returning back to his food.

“Well, anyway,” Taako diverts them to another subject, “Merle say anything else?”

From the way Magnus’ lips stretch and his eyes shift around the room, Taako takes it as a yes.

“What’d he say?”

“He-uh, well...he’s-um…”

“He’s what?”

“Well, you see, he’s-ah...bringing…”

“Bringing...what?”

“Bringing the kids-”

“Mavis and Mooky?” Angus smiles excitedly.

“Y-yeah, and...um…”

“Mags?” Taako urges.

Magnus takes in a deep breath and releases it as he answers. “Hekuba's coming, too.”


	5. Air Mattress Bliss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't get to chose your parents or the problems they bring with them. All you can hope for is to understand who they are so you can grow into the person you are destined to become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? It's not Tuesday and there's an update?
> 
> Both me and my stanky goblin friend, MLA, are going to be away next week and neither of us will have access to a computer. So we figured it would be best to post the next chapter, since it is shorter compared to the other ones, to keep us on schedule in the long run.
> 
> Also: yOu'Re DaTiNg ThE gRiM rEaPeR?!?!?!?!?!?
> 
> Thank you all for reading so far and sticking around! We love and appreciate every one of you!

_ Five Years Ago _

He remembers looking down at the small bundle in her arms and feeling absolutely terrified.

He remembers being asked if he wanted to hold his son and barely being able to nod. He remembers how his arms shook as they held out his child to him. He remembers gently positioning the kid to where he could see their face and nearly losing it right then and there.

He remembers staring, watching, just looking at his son, just a few minutes old. The overwhelming emotions that follow parenthood hitting him like a truck. His heart pounding against his rib cage as if it wanted to escape. A voice in his head begging him to put the baby down, that he didn’t deserve to hold it if the family they were going to grow up in was a loveless one.

Then he remembers the moment when Mooky opened up his eyes, just for a few seconds, and the unimaginable pain that followed.

Looking back on it now, looking in on it then, he wonders if it would have made a difference. Maybe he would have tried harder to keep everyone together. Maybe he wouldn’t have left again.

But he knows better than to think he would have done anything different.

~~~~~

_ Now _

There’s something about visiting uncle Magnus’ house that makes Agnus jump off the walls with excitement.

And he’s pretty sure it’s because he gets to sleep on an air mattress.

To any kid who has yet to experience chronic back pain, air mattresses are the  _ shit _ . The unbalanced, wobbly mat is perfect for jumping on and performing “acrobatic stunts.” Who needs sleep when you literally have a  _ fucking trampoline _ underneath you?

The moment Magnus is finished pumping up the air mattress, Angus goes to town.  He jumps up and down at least a hundred times before Taako wanders into the guest room with a pile of bed sheets. “Alright, you little monkey, help me out with these, would ya?”

“Yes, sir!” Angus huffs as he leaps off of the mattress like an uncoordinated goose. 

The only downside to air mattresses is that it’s nearly impossible to slip bed sheets on them. It takes at least a good thirty minutes until each blanket is carefully tucked into place and Agnus is underneath them.

Taako throws himself down on the edge of the mattress, the impact bouncing him back up into the air. “ _ O _ -kay, pumpernickel, think you can get yourself to hit the hay?”

“Is it okay if I could stay up until grandpa gets here?” Angus asks.

Taako flashes him a quick smile. “Nah, you gotta sleep, dragon fruit. You’ll see ‘em in the morning.”

“But I’m not tired,” Angus protests but the yawn that follows completely disproves his statement.

“ _ Riiiiiight _ .” Taako lifts up one of his hands and leans over to ruffle his son’s hair. “And I’m a kick-ass wizard. You can’t fool me, clementine.”

“I could stay up until they get here.” Angus smoothes his hair back down into place. “It’d be like New Years.”

Taako lets out a sigh. “Not tonight, chickpea. If it were any other night I would but you need to be awake for tomorrow. You got your outfit picked out already, right?”

Agnus nods his head.

“Good. Should be all set then,” Taako groans as he lifts himself up to his feet. Once he’s standing, he clasps his hands together and stretches his arms above his head.

“Hey dad?”

“What’s shakin’, bacon?”

“Why don’t you cook?”

Taako’s body jolts, as if he was struck by electricity. His arms gradually fall from the air and fold across his chest. “Wha-...what brought this up?”

Angus is a smart kid. He can tell when his father is upset just from the subtle hints he’s been handed. The way the folds in his shirt become longer the tighter his hands grip the fabric. The intense alertness in his eyes. How his mouth parts slightly to reveal his clenched teeth.

The bed sheets rub together loudly in the silent room as Angus starts to shift uneasily. “I-It’ just...uncle Magnus always asks me if you are every year a-and...I was just wondering…”

Taako remains frozen in place. The air in Angus’ lungs catch.

“I’m s-s-sorry if...is this something I’m not supposed to ask-?”

“It’s okay, Angus,” Taako stops him. His lips curl into a modest smile. “You’re allowed to ask.”

“Oh...okay. S-so why don’t you?”

The smile vanishes.

Angus pulls the top sheet of the air mattress closer to his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Taako blinks. “Oh! No no no! No, Angus it’s not your fault.” He hastily sits himself down by his child’s side. “It’s just…”

Taako’s eyes wander from Angus to the floor. The detached look on his face makes Angus worry that he’s drifted away from reality, the question slowly consuming him.

Then he looks back up. “You know what? It’s late. You...you should really try to get some sleep.”

“...oh,” Angus sighs. After a beat, his body starts to move mechanically to tuck himself into bed.

A sudden hand on his shoulder stops him in his tracks. “Ask me again...some other time,” Taako advises him.

“...okay.”

Taako lets his hand slide away as Angus lays his head down on his pillow and pulls the covers up to his neck. A few moments after he closes his eyes, a soft kiss is planted on his forehead.

“G’night, pumpkin.”

“Goodnight, dad.”


	6. A Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both sides of Merle's family are merged together for a depressing road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? Back again?
> 
> It's us. Thanks for being patient.

_ Six and a Half Years Ago _

 

“What if we had a baby?”

Magnus’s soul almost leaves his body. “W-what?”

“What if we had a baby?” Julia asks again. “A little baby Sideburns. With tiny hands and chubby feet?”

“A little baby Sideburns,” Magnus hums. He wraps one arm around his wife’s shoulders and gives her a gentle squeeze. “Man, wouldn’t that be something?”

“We’d have to wait until I’m better...but I’m willing to wait.” Julia looks up at him. “What would we name them?”

Magnus takes a moment to think. “Steven if it’s a boy...and Maggie if it’s a girl.”

Julia laughs. “Little Steven Jr….I like it. But Maggie sounds too much like Magnus.”

“No it doesn’t! We could just call her Margaret if it bothers you.”

“Yeah, but Maggie sounds better.”

“So then it’d be Maggie?”

“Hmm...still sounds too much like Magnus…”

“Alright,” Magnus grins cunningly, “which name would you choose?”

It takes a few minutes for Julia to answer. “Imogen.”

“Imogen? Sounds like an old grandma’s name.”

“It  _ was _ my grandma's name,” Julia elbows him playfully. “I think it means ‘love’ or something. I don’t know, I thought it was cute…”

“Imogen…” Magnus lets the name hang in the air. “I like it.”

“So it’s decided?”

“What’s decided?”

“Once I’m better...think we’ll be ready to start a family?”

“...I think so,” Magnus nods. “What about you?”

“I think so, too,” Julia smiles.

It’s one of those moments in life where something just clicks into place. A mixture of emotions swirls around within Magnus. Uncertainty, panic, excitement, compassion, faith.

_ I’m gonna be a dad. Julia’s gonna be a mother.  _

_ We’re gonna have a family. _

“I love you, Jules.”

“I love you too, Mags.”

 

_ Now _

 

Due to the car accident, and unavoidable late-night traffic, the Highchurch minivan pulls into Magnus’ driveway at ten in the morning instead of ten at night. When they finally arrive, Taako starts making split-second observations.

Merle looks the same as he has for the past decade. A plump, greying beard attached to his face. Wrinkles bordering on making him look like an ancient hand bag. Thick glasses that perfectly compliment his brown, almost hazel-like eyes. Hands made soft from worn-out calluses and years of use. Shiny, silver cross necklace hanging around his neck. Smile that practically radiated good vibes.

Hekuba, on the other hand, looks like she’s aged a thousand years.

Taako doesn’t feel that liable for not getting to know Merle’s ex wife that well. The most he knows about her is A) she’s old, B) she’s been divorced from his stepdad twice, and C) she doesn’t really like him all that much. They’ve only met in person a couple of times (Merle’s second wedding, Mooky’s birth, the courthouse for their second custody battle) but it’s been enough to know she doesn’t view him in anything other than disgust.

In all honesty, he can’t think of many reasons why she  _ should _ like him. In Hekuba’s eyes, Taako’s just an expelled culinary student turned single parent, who’s been bouncing back and forth on an unset future he’s changed multiple times.

There’s also the fact that Hekuba doesn’t quite approve of Merle having two adopted kids over the age of thirty when he was an actual child of his own he barely spends time with.

The first thing Taako notices about her appearance when she walks into the wood cottage is her hair. Normally, her head is topped with thick red hair, placed tightly into a bun. Now it’s almost completely gray, with parts of it sticking out like a caged octopus.

The faint outline of her dark circles is covered up by her brown eyeshadow and mascara, but anyone looking close enough can still see them. It’s obvious she hasn’t attempted any surgical procedures on her face because her wrinkles droop down to her chin. There’s a smudge of red lipstick next to her lips that she apparently hasn’t noticed or decided not to take care of.

Her hands clenched firmly around the handles of her purse, almost as if she’s afraid someone might try to take it from her.

“Taako!” Merle bursts into the biggest grin that can stretch onto his face and wastes no time throwing his arms around his stepson’s hips. They’ve become accustomed to the height difference now, no longer letting it come between their signs of affection.

“Hey, what's up, my dude?” Taako resolves himself to simply patting the older man’s back, not fully feeling up to a full-on bug at the moment.

Without warning, someone leaps onto his back and starts climbing up onto his shoulders. “BIG BRO!” a young, boisterous voice squeals.

“Mooky! Be quiet!” Merle scolds him.

“Sow’ry!” Mooky lovers his voice from a fortissimo to a forte, which is a start. “Where’s Aang? Where’s Aang?!”

“Getting dressed, kiddo,” Taako informs his stepbrother. “He’ll be out in a sec-”

“YIPPEE!” Like a majestic eagle, Mooky jumps off of Taako’s back and goes barrelling down the hall to the guest bedroom.

“Mooky!” Mavis emerges from behind her mother. “I’ll go get him,” she tells the adults surrounding her before she runs down the hall after her younger brother.

The tension in the room is palpable. Hekuba’s presence in the room is like a mute on the joyous reunion. A living reminder of Merle’s mistakes and emotional baggage.

No one can really blame the old man for trying. The past five years being separated again has been hard on him, in ways Taako nor Magnus can understand. Neither of them can walk around in their stepdad’s shoes, being a single parent and a widower.

The closest Taako can even relate to him with is Angus, but even then it’s not the same.

“So,” Hekuba mutters, “Hello Taako.”

Her words are somehow sharp and blunt at the same time. Taako is careful in choosing his words.

“Hey, Mrs. Roughridge-”

“Highchurch.” Hekuba’s titanium grip on her hand straps tightens even more. “Mrs. Highchurch. I kept the name...but you can call me Hekuba.”

“O-oh,” Taako finds himself struggling, “Well then, hey, Mrs. Highchurch.”

Hekuba makes a sound that is similar to that of a leaky balloon before walking past the two of them into the kitchen.

When he looks down, Taako reads Merle’s uncomfortable expression and mouths,  _ What a catch. _

Merle frowns. “C’mon, at least give her another chance. I’m trying here, too,” he whispers.

“What made you think this was a good idea?” Taako whispers back, a bit harsher than he intends.

“We’re trying things out,” Merle swears, “and if this doesn’t work, we go back to our separate ways.”

“But why’d you have to bring her now?! Of all times?!”

“I thought maybe this would be a good time for her to become more familiar with you two. I know she may not seem nice but-”

“That’s not the problem here, Merle. Magnus can’t handle the two of you fightin’ like cats right now.”

The brows on Merle’s face knit tightly together. “You think we’re just gonna fight the whole time?”

Taako almost screams his thoughts but his words die on his tongue before he can even open his mouth. Yes, he knows that sooner or later, the two will be at each other’s throats. Yes, he knows that things aren’t going to work out between them, maybe ever.

But saying that to his face?

Mooky is five years old. Mavis is twelve. The custody papers say that he can only see them on the weekends and holidays.

He shuts his mouth and keeps it closed.

Suddenly, loud, thundering footsteps ripple through the air. The house starts to shake as a stampede of children barrels into the living room, closely followed by a charging Magnus.

“TAKE COV’R!” Mooky shouts before jumping onto the couch. Mavis runs passed the piece of furniture and ducks underneath the coffee table, her dress bunching up underneath her knees.

Angus tries to duck out of the way from being captured, but Magnus hoists him up into the air by the armpits and starts spinning him around.

“RAWR!” Magnus drops his voice to a lower octave. “I CAUGHT ONE!”

“Oh no!” Angus says with the dramatic effort of a slacking theatre student.

“I’LL SAVE Y’E, AANG!” Mooky yells. He uses the couch’s edge like a diving board to propel him into the air. His tiny little hands grasp onto Magnus’ dress shirt before he falls to the floor.

“ARGH! YOU’LL NEVER DEFEAT THE MIGHTY RAILSPLITTER!” Magnus roars. With one arm, he props Angus up onto his shoulder. With the other, he grabs Mooky and tucks the smaller boy into the crook of his elbow.

“MAV’S! MAV’S! ONLY YOU CAN STOP THE MONST’R!” Mooky cries for his sister. “HURRY! HURRY!”

Mavis exhales softly before calmly walking over to Magnus and giving him a gentle tap on the arm. At this, Magnus crumbles to the floor with the grace of a gazelle with three legs missing. 

“ _ OOOOHH NOOOOO! _ ”  Magnus cries as his knees give out from under him. “You’ve-! Killed-! Me-!”

“HEY! G’IT OFF ME!” Mooky starts kicking his legs like tiny, powerful propellers in an attempt to escape.

“Uncle Magnus! You’re squishing my organs!” Angus gasps.

“I can’t move. I’m  _ deaaaddd _ ,” Magnus whispers.

“Oh yes, you can.” Taako walks over to the pile of bodies and pulls his child out from underneath his older brother. “Don’t go squishin’ my kid into jello, Magpie.”

Magnus laughs. “I wasn’t gonna squish him that much.”

All of the bystanders are silently praying that Hekuba doesn’t walk in on this scene. It’s rare for any of them to see Magnus so happy and playful during this time of the year. On this  _ day _ to be more precise. Taako just wants that smile on his face to stay there forever. Is that too much to ask?

Mooky somehow manages to squeeze his small body out from below Magnus and scrambles over to Taako. “Y’ER SAVED US!”

“Who me?” Taako points at himself. “Why, as much as I would  _ love _ to take all the credit for the heroic act that saved your lives, I do believe your brave older sister was the one who kicked that poor monster’s as-butt! Gentlemen, let’s give Mistress Highchurch our respects.”

As if on cue, the two rescued boys and Taako drop down on one knee and give Mavis a courteous bow. Angus makes sure to remove his hat and hold it over his heart. A small smile spreads over Mavis’ face; a rarity at this point in her life.

“Thank you, thank you,” Mavis says in a cocky, British accent. “Now rise, gentlemen. Enjoy your freedom.”

The three of them stand back up. From behind them, Merle starts to chuckle. “Bravo! Bravo! What a performance.” Magnus rises back onto his feet, his freshly ironed shirt now riddled with wrinkles. His beaming face is still brightly lit, and he gives a dramatic bow.

“Are you all ready to go?” Hekuba returns from the kitchen.

Magnus’ face goes dark.

_ Here we go _ , Taako swallows. “Y-yeah, I think so. Angus, you take the kiddos outside. We’ll be out in a sec.”

Angus nods quickly, already knowing how the routine works. “Uh, l-let’s go guys,” he says meekly. Mavis takes Mooky’s hand and follows him outside.

The door shuts firmly behind then and the silence that follows lasts long enough for Taako to become lost in his own thoughts. There’s a list of things they still have to do before they leave. Every year, it seems harder to accomplish.

“Magnus,” Merle speaks softly, “the straps are still in the basement, right?”

“Y-yeah...they’re still there.”

“Okay,” Merle nods. The old man pushes his way past the group and disappears down the hall.

“Is there something I should be doing?” Hekuba inquires.

There’s a brief lull that follows her question. Taako expects Magnus to answer at first but when he looks up into his face, his eyes are staring at the floor. “No, we’re good here,” Taako replies. “You can go wait with the kids.”

“M’kay,” she mumbles. 

Taako knows she doesn’t expect him to notice the critical glance she throws at him as she walks away. He still does but now’s not the time to let it get to him. Later will be fine.

He stares up at Magnus. It’s just the two of them. Two broken men standing in a house suffocating in memories. Everything from the wood furniture to the old family photos is poisonous on the eyes. The pine smell stings his lungs with every inhale. 

Yet, six years later and Magnus hasn’t changed a thing.

His carpentry masterpieces are hidden from the world, under traps in the basement. The baby bassinette he built a month before the fateful day is God knows where.

But his wedding ring has never left his finger.

“Magnus…” Taako hates how vulnerable his voice sounds. “You...you want me to grab the flowers now?”

“Yeah.”

He sounds so defeated, broken. It makes Taako’s chest ache.

“Okay,” he nods. “Why don’t you go wait outside for Merle?”

“Okay.”

Magnus doesn’t move.

_ Oh please just go _ , Taako pleads.  _ Please don’t make me the responsible one here. _

For a moment, it seems as if his prayers are ignored. Then Magnus puts one foot in front of the other and closes the door softly behind him.

Taako releases a sigh his lungs were unknowingly holding. The house seems to grow more dismal once he’s alone. Whatever comfort and loving presence that used to belong here has left the place with a drowning sense of dread. It’s an easy bug to catch; Taako can feel himself grow more disheartened by the second.

There will be plenty of time to grieve later. It will be better to wait until everything’s ready before he lets himself break down.

Taako walks into the kitchen and over to the fridge. It’s imitation stainless steel exterior is decorated with various magnetic frames. There’s a photo from their family trip to Refuge, Denver. Another one from Angus’ first Christmas in Chicago. An ancient picture of Taako back when he was in high school. From the condition the spatula in his hand is, he can guess that the photo was taken during his junior year.

Various places on the fridge’s cover are blank, almost as if a few photos were taken off of it.

A chilly blast of frigid air sends goosebumps trailing Taako’s arms as he pulls open the fridge doors. Sitting somewhat upright in a glass vase on the middle rack is a bouquet of gladioluses. The colors pulsating off of them range from a deep violet to a soft crimson.

Taako cups his hands around the middle of the vase and carefully pulls it out of the fridge. There’s a soft clank as he sets it down on the kitchen island.

“Miracle you all survived the trip,” he mumbles to himself.

His hands pull away from the vase and reach for the jar of sugar that’s over to the side.


	7. The Burnsides Family Mystery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On October fourteenth, an old Chevy pickup truck always pulls into the parking lot of the local cemetery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The update schedule is changing! Six Years will now update every other day instead of once a week. We're finishing up with our final edits of the last few chapters and those should be done shortly from now. YAY!!! I'm hyped. We've been working on this for a long time and it's kinda sad??? but also exciting to know it's almost actually finished. NOw I can focus on finishing that MP100 fic I started like a year ago..........................
> 
> As always, thanks for your support!

_ Five Years Ago _

 

Cherry blossoms have always been Hurley’s favorite.

The delicate pink and vibrant red of their petals. The soft brown of their bark. How they sway in the breeze. It’s all just so mesmerizing to her.

Just her luck that they’re not indigenous to Chicago, Illinois.

The image on her pamphlet just doesn’t do them justice. The colors are washed and seem almost pasty. Her eyes easily catch the dots of ink that the printer made too dark on the bark. Still, she can’t force herself to look away.

To actually see a cherry blossom in person would probably leave her crippled from its shear beauty.

As she turns the booklet over for the hundredth time that month, a harmonic chime rings through the air. Hurley tilts her head up as a customer walks into her store.

“Ah! Welcome to Petals-oh hey, Taako!”

“Hey, Hurley.”

“You’re late for work.”

“Oh. Uh...about that-” he mumbles.

“Don’t worry about it, man. Everyone sleeps in now and then. C’mon, lighten up,” she grins.

“Thanks but, um...that’s not why I’m late.”

Hurley leans up off of the main counter, almost knocking over a pot of chrysanthemums in the process. “Is something wrong?”

“Huh? No! No, nothing wrong. It’s just that…” Taako trails off. His arms move to clasp the sides of a young boy standing in front of him shat Hurley has failed to notice. The kid’s bright brown eyes are staring a hole right through her. His clothes seen to have been bought recently from the local super market, aside from his worn-out periwinkle sweater. A pair of hand-me-down tennis shoes that are two sizes too big for the kid cover up his feet.

“Hey...aren’t those your kicks?” Hurley asks.

“Yeah. Um...little Angus here hasn’t been enrolled into school yet so...is it cool if he shadows me here for a bit?”

The puzzle pieces all click together in Hurley’s brain. “Holy shit.”

 

_ Now _

 

Angus doesn’t like quiet car rides.

It’s normally an alien-like event to ever climb into his dad’s truck and not be bombarded with ear-bursting music. The radio is usually set to the nearest alternative station or the CD player is blasting out Hodge Podge like there is no tomorrow. Whenever there is silence, it can only mean one of two things.

It’s October fourteenth or his dad is one of his moods.

This year marks the fourth time Angus has participated in this yearly Sideburns event. He’s trapped in the backseat of the pickup truck, sandwich between a pile of picnic blankets to his left and his dad to his right. There’s a glass vase full of gladioluses sitting in between Taako’s legs. The water inside the vase sloshes from side to side from the inertia of the truck.

In the front seat is his grandpa, another rarity of traveling in the pickup truck. His dad almost never lets anyone else drive except himself. Yet, when Merle asked him if he could have the keys, Taako passed them off without hesitation.

His uncle is in the passenger seat with his head bent down towards his chest.

The whole situation is unsettling. The silence, the constant thumping from the back of the pickup as the secured rocking chair rattles against the metal bed underneath it. None of it feels right.

Angus pulls his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around his legs. Sweat starts to form from his palms. His heart seems to be beating faster that it should be. It’s only a forty five minutes drive and he has to constantly remind himself that. Only forty five minutes. Only forty five minutes. Only forty five minutes. Only-

“Backpack for his applesauce, backpack where he keeps his applesauce.”

Angus’ arms slowly uncoil and settle into his lap. His legs slide back down to dangle over the back seat.

“Ja’am’s got the applesauce that you crave.”

Taako chuckles silently. “Everyone catches his juicy Ja’am wave.” He carefully pulls one of his hands away from the vase and pats the top of Angus’ head. “Almost there, Ango. Almost there.”

 

~~~~~

 

On October fourteenth, an old Chevy pickup truck always pulls into the parking lot of the local cemetery.

Kravitz has become accustomed to the yearly routine since he started working four years ago. It started as a whisper eavesdropped by coworkers around the beginning of the month, something along the lines of “Burnsides reserved for ten till eight.” Reservations weren’t uncommon but normally they wouldn’t last for most of the day. A quick two-hour ceremony was accustomed, not ten hours.

He kept an attentive ear while working. Apparently the Burnsides were a well respected family, popular with the locals of the town. Two years ago, a daughter of the late Steven Waxman had passed on and was buried around the northwest section of the grounds. From what he heard, her widower and his relatives started a tradition on coming down to visit her on her death day.

Again, this wasn’t out of the ordinary. Love ones come to visit their deceased friends and family all the time.

But ten hours?

Before Kravitz could work up the courage to ask his fellow employees why the Burnsides family has reserved so much time for themselves, he found himself watching a pickup truck winding its way through the parking lot and coming to a stop right underneath the shade of an old oak tree. Stepping out of the driver’s seat was a short, older man dressed up in his Sunday best. The old man opened the back door for a young boy, no older than five at the time, and reached in after him to grab a pile of blankets.

A tall, burly man with disheveled hair, and sideburns appropriately, came out of the passenger's seat and slowly walked over to the bed of the truck. As if on autopilot, he started to unhook a set of binding wrapped around the top of a canvas tarp and tugged them free. Underneath the tarp was an old wooden rocking chair. The old man quickly came over and helped the Burnsides lift the chair onto the ground.

As the older man pulled out a handkerchief and started dusting the rocking chair off, another man climbed out of the backseat with a glass vase in his hands. He stood in between the other men in height and seemed to be the youngest of the three of them. His long, blond hair was pulled back into a flimsy bun on the top of his head. A tea green cardigan sweater overlapped his white button up shirt and hanging from his waist is a formal black skirt. Coming up just below his knees was a pair of gray and teal paisley-printed dress socks. His feet modeled a worn pair of black loafers.

Kravitz found himself staring as the blond man offered his hand to the young boy and motioned for the kid to follow him behind the old man and Burnsides, who had hoisted the rocking chair up into his arms like a paper sack.

Now, four years later, he finds himself watching the same event unfold, just as it has previously. The blond man is here, as is the old man, Burnsides, and the young boy. The only difference this time is the older woman and two new kids who have tagged along for the ride.

It’s clear to Kravitz how the group has aged. The old man looks almost exactly the same, minus the added attention he seems to have given his hair.

Burnsides seems healthier than he did when Kravitz first started working at the cemetery. His face is less hollow and more colorful. The thick sideburns growing from his face seem well trimmed, as does his hair. There’s a few faint outlines of some new wrinkles around the corners of his eyes but he still looks well for his age.

The boy has changed the most. He’s twice as big now, and twice as old. Around the edge of his brimless cap, Kravitz can see his dark, curly hair poking out like an unclipped bush. Throughout the years, he’s always worn the same paisley turquoise sweater and khaki pants and today is no exception.

As for the blond man, his fashion sense sure hasn’t changed a bit. This year, he’s wearing a purple pullover sweater over the same white button up. The same black skirt is still fits quite well around his hips but the pale pink tights are new. The paisley socks have been replaced with a complementing pair of violet argyle-print dress socks. His hair hangs loosely, barely touching his shoulders, and outlining the matured features of his face. After Kravitz’s second year of work, he noted the dark circles underneath his eyes. 

This year, they seem to be a little bit darker.

The Burnsides family makes a straight path for the courtyard gates and enters in without getting cold feet. From Kravitz’s limited vantage point from the employee's’ office window, he watches as Sideburns leads the pack in a low stride. The rocking chair in his arms sways to the side with each heavy stride he takes.

A few minutes pass by; Kravitz continues to watch the family with an inquisitive gaze. It’s hard to tear his eyes off of the Burnsides and he can’t quite figure out why. Maybe the life of an undertaker is starting to become mundane for him. Any small distraction can shift gears away from whatever business he’s currently dealing with. The pen he found on the floor the other day, the length of the skirt on the blond man’s legs, the leaf that flew in through the front door earlier that week-

At this rate, there’s no telling what will steal his attention next.

_ I’ll get back to work...right now, _ Kravitz tells himself. His eyes don’t look away. _ How about...now?  _ They don’t even flinch.  _ Right now...now...now..? Okay, I’m looking away right  _ now _. _

Sideburns stops in his tracks and gently maneuvers his rocking chair so that it is directly facing one of the gravestones in front of him. He stands behind the chair with his hands tightly gripping the headrest, as if he has been turned to stone. The rest of the family watches from a distance, putting on the impression that if they approach him, he’ll suddenly combust. The older woman has her hands wound around the straps on her purse, while the smallest child of the bunch clings to her dress like a lifeline. Next to them, the little girl rocks back on the balls of her feet awkwardly.

The old man holds the pile of picnic blankets close to his chest, his hands grasping at the fabric and untensing every few seconds.

Standing in front of the blond man is the littleboy, who wrings the bottom of his sweater up in his fists. Even from a considerable distance away, the child’s discomfort is easily felt by Kravitz. It almost appears as if he could burst into tears at any moment.

Then the blond man places his hands on the kid’s shoulders and all of his worries seem to melt away.

Sideburns stays standing for a moment, then another, before his knees bend almost automatically and he’s sitting down in the rocking chair.

Like clockwork, the old man places the picnic blankets on the ground and takes the top one off of the pile. As the breeze picks up, he shakes the blanket open and lets it gently guide itself to the earth.

The old man continues on with the rest of the pile while the three children sit themselves down on the unfolded blanket. The smaller boy tries to jump on top of the dark-skinned child but as soon as the old woman approaches them, he immediately falls back into position.

Eventually, they’re all sitting around the rocking chair on their respective blankets. The children sit criss-cross applesauce style, with their hands findling at the stocks of grass around them. To their left sits the old man and woman, who seem content and yet apprehensive being next to one another. On his own little private oasis is the blond man, who has the vase full of flowers placed between his legs. His back is hunched over, allowing his long hair to drape over the side of his caramel-colored face. He doesn’t seem exactly bored to be surrounded by dozens of tombstones. No, bored isn’t the right word.

He seems appropriately depressed for such an occasion.

Kravitz doesn’t know how long he’s been staring at the Burnsides family. Five minutes? Ten?

But when the alarm on his phone goes off, he knows he’s been staring far longer than can be considered appropriate.

He jumps out of his office chair, the repetitive tone emanating from his phone shattering the inquisitive silence surrounding him. His hand fumbles to reach into his pocket and pull out the small, rectangular device.

**Aeron Hour-Early Reminder**

_ Right _ . Kravitz swipes his finger to the right, killing the alarm. He tucks his phone back into his pocket and lifts himself out of his office chair. A dozen small  _ pops _ can be heard as he straightens his back.

Soon, a party of strangers, all dressed in black and their Sunday best will enter in through the front gates. Tears will be shed, mascara will be smeared, prayers will be asked, and curses will be handed out. Emotions will run wild and Death will sear the memory of a deceased member of the human race into the minds of everyone that knew them.

It is a funeral after all. And Kravitz runs the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay kravitz
> 
> Btw I'm still really anxious about the TAZ finale. Like, is Lup gonna be okay??? Fisher??? I have a lot of feelings


	8. Bathroom Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you gotta go, you gotta go. (No, it's not just a toilet joke. It's metaphorical.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your support for this fic makes us so happy. Is there a reader appreciation day because you all deserve one? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENTS AND KUDOS!!!

_ Five Years Ago _

 

“Just take the money Hurley.”

“Taako I-”

“Hurley. You’ve been helping me out for months now. Hell, Ango probably wouldn’t have shoes today without you and Sloane. I can’t imagine what I’d be doing without you two. Just take it.”

“I don’t  _ want _ any of it Taako!”

“I want you to have it!”

It’s the same conversation they’ve been having for the past few months. Ever since Hurley met Angus, she has done everything in her power to help the Taaco family as best she can. On the weekends, she lets Angus hang out at the flower shop and let’s him help her decorate the bouquets. Her girlfriend, Sloane, gets off of work early from the auto-body shop, and usually keeps an eye on Angus after he gets home from school. 

Whenever Hurley is free, she’ll take Angus shopping. Taako can be a bit overbearing on the boy when it came to fashion, and Angus isn’t a bad companion to have. Hurley enjoys having the kid as company and so far, it seems as if Angus feels the same way. His face always lights up whenever Hurley asks him how his day went.

It’s kind of her to be for Angus but Hurley's just grateful for the friendship they’ve formed because of it.

“Don’t you understand that I’m happy to help? I don’t care about the money!” Hurley insists. 

“It’s not like I’m giving you charity,” Taako snaps. “Just take the goddamn money!”

“I just want to help you get back up on your feet! Being a parent is hard. You know, it’s perfectly legal to get some help once in awhile!”

The muscles on Taako’s face loosen up, turning his expression blank. Even from his bare aspect, Hurley can tell that some kind of internal dam of emotion within him has burst. She can only imagine what kind of feeling she must have set off in his mind; sadness, anger, frustration, shame. He is completely silent, almost shocked.

“T-Taako?” Hurley stutters. “I...I don’t mean that you’re-”

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “You’re...y-you’re just being so kind a-and I just want to return what you do..”

“Taako,” Hurley sighs, the corners of her lips dipping towards the floor. She reaches out her hand and grips Taako’s shoulder. “Everything I do for you I do because I  _ want to _ . Same goes for Sloane.”

“I-I know, but-” Taako fumbles. He stops himself for a moment, trying to capture the right words that he wants to use. “Listen, I...I’m not-I’ve never been good with being responsible, or with emotions, or...I’m just not great at a lot of stuff. But I’m….I’m  _ trying so hard _ , Hurl. I can’t mess this kid’s life up like mine. A-and everyday I get this horrible feeling….like I’ve already screwed Angus over. Maybe...m-maybe I’m not good enough to be his legal guardian-”

“You better cut that crap right now.”

“H-Hurl-?” Taako blinks.

“Do you really have no idea how much Angus cares about you? How much better his life is now because of you?!” Hurley feels her voice start to rise. She decides not to do anything about it. “You gave him a  _ home! _ You give him the kind of affection he hasn’t recieved in  _ years!  _ He’d still be in foster care if it weren’t for you! He has a chance of having a better future now because of you! Don’t you get it?! He talks about you nonstop, about how much you care for him! About how happy is to have a  _ new dad!  _ He loves you, Taako. Angus  _ loves you _ .”

It’s a four letter word. A simple four letter word that’s been tossed around for ages.

And it’s powerful enough to break Taako’s spirit.

He crumbles to his knees in a heap. His shoulders slump forward and his head falls down to his chest. His long, blond hair hangs over his face, forming a barrier around his unreadable gaze.

“T-takko?!” Hurley bends down in front of him. “Hey, a-are you okay?”

Taako chuckles quietly. Then a bit louder. Suddenly, he’s laughing hysterically, his voice bouncing off of the thin walls of his apartment. Hurley only watches him, too unsettled to react.

“...Taako? Taako, Angus is sleeping!” she finally warns him.

Her words must get to him. Gradually, Taako’s laughter starts to grow softer, until he falls completely silent.

“Taako…?” Hurley’s voice shakes. “Takko, c’mon,  _ say something _ .”

Taako lifts his head up to where his eyes barely poke through his curtain of hair. Hurley is drawn to his bright blue irises like a moth to a flame. It’s hard to tell through the small splits in his mop of hair but Hurley can see the faint shine of tears that threaten to trail down his cheeks.

“Sorry,” he grins, “but the irony there was too good.”

The look that Hurley must show Taako causes him to straighten up, dropping his smile completely. “H-hey, I’m...I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to...um…”

“Do you…” Hurley bites her lip, trying her best to approach the subject. “Do you need to talk about anything…?”

Taako stays still for a moment before quickly wiping something away from his eye. “Not today,” he mumbles. He props one knee up to balance himself and stands back up on his own two feet. He reaches a hand down for Hurley. “But thanks...for asking.”

Hurley takes his offered hand hesitantly, afraid that even touching her co-worker would shatter him into a million pieces. “You’re welcome.”

Taako pulls her up, his strength doing most of the work for her but it’s too weak to bring her back up to her feet completely. The hand in Hurley’s grip is bony and cold; she can feel his arm shake as he lifts her back up.

_ It’s October, _ she reminds herself.  _ He’ll bounce back after he gets back from his trip. _

“Hey, so...who did you get to watch your apartment next week?” Hurley asks.

“Huh-? Oh  _ shit _ . Uh…”

Hurley’s not one bit surprised. “Well, if you need anybody, Sloane’s off all of next week. You know she’d be happy to lend you a hand.”

“...Yeah, yeah, that would be great,” Taako nods sheepishly. “ _ God, _ how could I forget?”

“It’s okay,” Hurley smiles softly. “It happens to the best of us.”

“I know but-” He cuts himself off with a sigh. “Hurley, be honest. Do you...do you think I’m actually a good parent?”

Hurley takes a long, deep breath before answering. “I think you’re a great parent, but you need to start asking for help more. There are plenty of people who would take a bullet for you two in a heartbeat. You can’t harbor away your issues like you’re used to anymore, okay? Angus needs you, Taako.”

Taako stares at her with watery eyes. “Angus needs me.”

Hurley nods affirmingly. “Angus needs you.”

 

_ Now _

 

The most important guest at a funeral is, of course, the corpse. So when Kravitz is told that the body of the late Mrs. Marjory Aeron is arriving late for the event, his blood pressure rises drastically.

“What do you mean she’s not  _ ready? _ ” he hisses into his phone.

“Well, uh…” the meek voice of his assistant responds,” You see, Brian over here got himself a little drunk last night and-”

“IIII’M _ MAGIC BRIAN! _ ” a severely tipsy German voice calls out from the other side of the line. Of all of the days for the main worker at the morgue has to drink himself silly, it has to be today.

“A-and he didn’t exactly do his job this morning,” his assistant continues. “I found the number of one of his employees, though. Th-they should be here in a few minutes.”

Kravitz’ grip on his phone is so tight he’s afraid it might start to crack. “Who did you ca- Don’t tell me.”

“It...it was a number for a Lucas Miller?”

“Bli _ mey _ ,” kravitz groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. Of course, of course Lucas Miller would be the only one available to help him out right now. The ex-mortician has always been driving Kravitz crazy during their year of working together. Every Time a funeral was scheduled, Lucas would always try to convince Kravitz that he could handle the whole situation on his own; all the planning and managing would be no problem to handle.

His cocky attitude had cost him his job and the last of Kravtiz’ patience.

Now, Lucas should be off somewhere in West Virginia, studying to get his PhD. Instead, he’s driving back to Lynchburg to step in for “Magic Brian.”

“I...take it you two aren’t on good terms?” his assistant asks.

“Oh, I’m sure he’ll still suck up to me.” Kravitz pulls his hand away from his face. “But there’s no way he’s getting a warm welcome. Oh, if Ms. Raven finds out about this…”

“Sh-should I call him back and tell him not to come-?”

“No! No. A corpse handled by Lucas Miller is still better than none. Just send me a quick text once he gets there.”

“I-I will, sir.”

“Thank you, Noelle.” Kravitz pulls his phone away from his ear and ends the call. He takes a quick glance at the time before shutting the screen off.

10:32.

Twenty eight minutes. Less than half an hour before Kravitz is going to have hell to pay. Unsurprisingly, this is the first time he’s had to start a funeral procession without the deceased member of the party. Unless by some miracle Lucas pulls through and gets Mrs. Aeron here before the family starts showing up, Kravitz sees a hoard of angry mourners, a resume he might have to fill out, and a throbbing migraine in his future. 

“Just calm down,” Kravitz tells himself. He takes a deep breath in. Then exhales. “Everything will be fine. The corpse will show up, things will proceed as planned, and you’ll still have a job tomorrow. You’ve never had a bad day; gotta have a dunce in there somewhere right?”

The forced grin on his face is as lifeless as Mrs. Aeron.

Kravitz just doesn’t handle stress well. If the slightest thing goes wrong, he loses his mind. When he got into the funeral business, he thought he would never reach the day where he could become the man in charge of everything. His expectation was to stick around for a few years and eventually move on to something else, preferably a job where he would interact with living people more than the dead.

But as time went on, Kravitz realized something. Helping to give the ones who had moved on a proper farewell filled a hole somewhere within him.

Right now, however, he thinks he should just start digging his own grave. There’s a freshly-dug hole already out there in the yard; he could just throw himself in and not have to deal with all the social consequences that are sure to come.

_ No. That’s not how an adult acts _ , Kravitz reminds himself.  _ Go freshen up. Just clear your head. _

He tucks his phone into his pocket and wanders down the hall towards the restroom.

 

~~~~~

 

Sitting outside and doing nothing is exhausting.

Barely thirty minutes has gone by before Taako starts to grow antsy. The dewdrops from the grass are slowly seeping through his picnic blanket and the solid ground below him is not comfortable on his behind. He fiddles with strands of his hair, eyes glancing up at the overcast sky repeatedly. His feet tap to any particular song that pops into his head.

To Taako’s left, his siblings and son look just as agitated. Mooky is plucking strands of grass out of the earth and placing them into a messy pile. Mavis is wadding up the ends of her dress and unrolling them repeatedly.  New wrinkles have appeared in the delicate fabric.

Angus is sitting with his hands in his lap, legs criss-crossed in front of him. His head turns leisurely to take in the familiar sites the cemetery has to offer him. When his eyes land on his uncle sitting silently in his rocking chair, he quickly looks down towards the ground.

Taako takes a glance over in Magnus’ direction. His brother’s shoulders are slumped forward, his head bent down to his chest. It makes it appear as if he is slowly sinking in on himself despite his massive size. The slight breeze whistling through the air ruffles his finely combed hair back into its normal, unkempt state. He hasn’t spoken since they arrived.

Nobody can blame him. The loss of a loved one can affect one’s behavior for longer than expected. In Magnus’ case, six years. Six years since his one and only love was torn from him. Six years of a hole ripped in his heart that few things can mend. This feeling of emptiness isn’t unrelenting, but it has stuck with him for that time. Almost like how when you think about the presence of your tongue in your mouth, you are hyper-aware of that fact. When Magnus’ thoughts turn to Julia, it is hard to get his mind off of her. These thoughts will linger for hours, days at a time. During these periods of thought, there is little Magnus can do to get back up on his feet. 

Thank God for Merle and Taako.

Magnus is currently propped up in his black oak rocking chair staring at some fixed point in the distance, thinking. Thinking seemed to take up an awful lot of time in his life. His thoughts are about Julia. Mostly happy, sometimes somber. This is Magnus’ time to ruminate and be pensive, but he’ll need to join his family soon.  _ Family,  _ Taako thinks, wondering what connotation this word is supposed to have on Magnus now. He later decides it to be positive. Without family, Magnus would probably be in his bed starving to death.

But Magnus is not the only one whose life is tied to the simple six letter word. Taako takes a look around at the people gathered around him. Merle, his step dad, who wants to stay connected with each and everyone of his relatives. Even the ones not connected by blood. Anyone can take a wild guess as to why he keeps trying to put his broken marriage back together again. Those closest to him don’t have to. The old man is in his late sixties now. To him, that must feel like putting one foot in the grave.

Taako doesn’t know what’s worse: Merle’s current situation or his own before he adopted Angus.

The first year after culinary school had been hell. Maybe even worse than that. Living alone in Chicago for no reason other than the cost of moving back home was too high. Trying to find a job that wasn’t connected to the fast food industry. Connected to any food industry for that matter. Having a school record with a dozen credits in cooking and electives but low grades in his core classes. A resume that had less jobs on it than a grocery list has items. Barely getting by on paying his rent working retail until he met Hurley. Not having any friends close by until he met Hurley.

The lasting feeling of loneliness. The suffocating idea of him being useless. The terrifying reality that he did not know what to do with the rest of his life.

Then Angus came along.

It is scary for Taako to even consider the fact that while he could die happy, knowing he had given Agnus the life he may have never had, while Merle could die alone without being there for his biological children. Mooky is young enough to forget him at this age.

There’s a delicate tap on Taako’s shoulder. “Mmm-what?” he mumbles, snapped out of his daze.

Angus is standing on his picnic blanket, just a few inches away from the grass. He brings back his outstretched hand and clasps it with his other over his chest. His head is bend downwards, the edge of his cap casting a shadow over his face. When Taako finally catches a glimpse of his expression, he can see the slight tremble in his bottom lip.

“Ango? Hey, what’s wrong, bud?”

“I-um…” Angus whimpers, “C-can I go to the bathroom?”

Taako’s lungs hold back a sigh. Apparently he’s not the only one that’s already drained. “I don’t know, can you?”

When Angus doesn’t laugh in response, Taako decides to put away his parental joke book for another time. “Okay, let’s go,” he nods, giving his son a quick squeeze on his shoulder before hoisting himself up to his feet. His knees pop several time underneath his weight, the sound cutting through the silent atmosphere around them like a knife.

Merle and Hekuba both turn to look at them as they start walking away.  _ Be right back _ , Taako mouths, pointing to Angus.

_ Okay _ , Merle mouths back with a small smile. Hekuba only continues to glower at him. Or at least it looks like she’s glowering at him. Taako’s not really sure if she can make any other facial expression.

From where Julia’s gravestone stands to the main path leading back to the funeral home is a decent sized hill. Taako feels his feet sink into the damp earth as they trek their way down. His lips perce together in annoyance; he should have made Angus wear his older pair of loafers.

“I’m sorry dad,” Angus mumbles almost silently.

“Don’t have to be, pumpkin. I know it’s hard. It was startin’ to get to me, too.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah. I’m not as brave as you, though; never would’ve even thought about leaving.”

“That’s not bravery dad.”

Taako shrugs. “Depends on what your definition of bravery is.” He lifts up his hand and ruffles the top of Angus’ cap gently. “You’ve been a real trooper, Ango. It’ll be over soon.”

“Until next year.”

Taako brings his hand back  slowly. “Yeah...until next year…”

The two of them enter into the funeral home through the side entrance. Once, they’re inside, a long, baze-painted hallway awaits them. After years of visiting, Taako knows his way around the place like back of his hand. He leads Angus down the hall, then turns him left, before coming to a halt right in front of the door to the male’s bathroom.

“I’ll wait out here,” Taako informs him, leaning against the wall as he says so.

“M’kay,” Angus nods. He pushes open the bathroom door and disappears behind it. 

The hallway looks more or less the same as it did last year. Same baze walls, same green carpet, same light fixtures hanging from the ceiling, and same popcorn texture on the ceiling, too. The smell is different, though. Taako inhales, catching the scent of fresh paint instead of the normal pine he was expecting. 

_ Weird, the walls don’t look that different. Maybe my eyesight’s just goin’ bad. _

It’s quiet, too. A different kind of quiet than the one outside. In the graveyard, there’s the creaking of magnus’ rocking chair and the breeze swirling past them. Inside, there’s just nothing. No chair, no breeze, nothing. Just a calm, empty void Taako can just let himself fall into, even for just a moment. A break from all the emotional stress surrounding him. A break from his family. A break from the world.

A loud creaking sound drags Taako out of his trance. The bathroom door is open. He sits up off the wall, expecting to see Angus walking out. Instead, there’s a tall man dressed in a tuxedo. Or at least, half of a tuxedo, The suit jacket is currently tucked underneath the crook of his arm. Long strands of thick, braided black hair cascade down his shoulders and back. There’s an unnatural shine to the sharp features on his face; almost as if he had splashed some sort of liquid on himself.

For a moment, his deep, brown eyes lock with Taako’s and the world seems to stop.

That is until a five-noted chime starts to emanate from the man’s pocket and he lets out a frustrated grown. He pulls a cell phone out of his pocket and lifts it up to his ear, too distracted to move aside from the doorway.

“Yes, hello?...Is he there?... _ Good _ . Make sure he stays there….Oh, I’m sure he’d love to but-.... _ just-! _ Keep me posted. The service starts in about twenty minutes….”

Taako is caught in another trance. His eyes are desperate to stay locked onto the man’s face as he talks. Some godly force is keeping him from pulling away and he’s not sure if he should be worried about this or not.

“...yes, thank you Noelle...yes,  _ thank- _ ...thank you. Bye.”

The man shoves his phone back into his pocket furiously, steam practically coming out of his ears. Distress is written all over his face and Taako instantly makes a connection.

“Rough day?”

The man jumps at the sound of Taako’s voice. Taako almost jumps himself. The question comes out of his throat before he can even try to keep it down. He starts to panic, wishing he could take it back.

To his relief, the man lets out a shaky sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “You could say that again.”

“Rough day?”

The man chuckles, almost sinisterly. “I’m sure your day’s not much better, am I right?”

“What gave you that impression?” Taako inquires.

“Well, no one really comes to a cemetery for the fun of it, huh?”

“You’ve got a point there, bubbeleh. Ironic how you can’t spell funeral without fun. Name’s Taako.”

Taako’s long, bony hand extends out for the man’s larger one to grasp. His skin is softer than he was expecting but unnaturally cold.

“Woah, we got a clammy one here.”

The comment causes the man to laugh again. This time, it’s more genuine. “My name’s Kravitz. It’s nice to meet you Taako.”

“Pleasure’s all mine, Kimosabe. Fucking sucks we had to meet on a day like this.”

“Well, if not now, when?” Kravitz shrugs. He releases his grip on Taako’s hand and places it on his hip. “You’re a member of the Burnsides party, right?”

“Yeah...how’d you know that?”

“Oh, uh,” Kravitz stutters, “I’ve seen your family visit every year and I just...put a name to a face, I guess.”

“Oh God, you come here every  _ year? _ Yeesh, you’re family’s dropping like flies- _ oh shit _ , uh...that was insensitive  _ maybe…? _ ”

Kravitz stares at him blankly for a moment. “My fam-?  _ Oh! _ Oh, no  _ no! _ It’s nothing like that! I’m a mortician.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“I’m an  _ undertaker _ . I work here.”

Taako is a bit slow on putting the puzzle pieces together. “Oh! Gotcha. I catch your lingo, grim.”

“Grim-?”

“How long you been workin’ here, bud? What made you wanna get in the business of reaping souls?” Taako smirks.

“For the record, these people come to be  _ already dead _ , so kiss any little conspiracy theories you have out the window.”

“Sounds like I’m not the first to suspect anything.”

“ _ And  _ to answer your question, a little over four years now. Let’s just say I’ve had a few career changes in my life.”

“Ooh, mysterious,” Taako teases.

“Yes, well, the life of a funeral director is full of many secrets,” Kravitz grins. Then his phone begins to ring again and his smile vanishes. “Oh for  _ crying-! _ ” He whips out his phone again, groaning loudly once he reads what the caller ID is.

“Man, its just not your day, is it?”

“Doesn’t seem like it.” Kravitz looks away from his phone and tries his best to soften his grimace. “Listen, I’m sorry. It’s been a pleasure meeting you Taako, but I really have to go. This service is going off the rails, and once the family gets here, I’ll be what you could call...boned.”

“No, I catch your drift, soul eater,” Taako grins. “Go attend to the masses. I’ll catch you some other time. Or next year. Whichever comes first.”

“Well, I’ll hope for the former,” Kravitz smiles back. “Goodbye, Taako.”

Kravitz flips his phone open and holds it to his ear as he walks down the hall. His voice bounces off the walls of the foyer even after he has disappeared around the corner.

“See ya later.”

Taako finds himself staring down the hallway long after Kravitz has left before he slips back into the void.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could also upload the comments on our Google doc bc most of our notes are friggin hilarious
> 
> Highlight: angus pulls out a gameboy and plays pokemon for 20 minutes on the floor of the mens bathroom in a funeral home the end -MLA


	9. Macaroni Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako is shrouded in mystery, which gives Angus a lot of mysteries to solve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode 68 actually cured my depression. I am a mentally-well person.

_Two Years Ago_

 

Angus nudges the glob of macaroni and cheese on his plate with his fork in slow, uncoordinated circles. Trails of melted cheese show the journey his food has made on his plate. Bits of ice, tiny little crystals that didn’t quite melt all the way in the microwave, finally start to thaw and leave behind small water droplets. The tips of his fork barely scrapes the top of the pile before the back end of it pushes the food along.

There is a knot in Angus’ stomach that is as heavy as a bowling ball. Any and all foods seem unappetizing to him, even his favorite meal. He puts an elbow up on the table and leans his head into his hand.

Another fork clanks against a piece of dining ware. “Feeling okay, Ango?”

Angus looks up at his father, plate nearly empty, before turning his eyes away. “M’fine.”

Taako makes a noise that all distressed parents do when something seems amiss. “You don’t seem like it...upset tummy?”

“No.”

“Kids picking on you in school?”

“No.”

“Worried about your grades?”

“No.”

“Well, then what is it, pumpkin?” Taako picks his fork back up and shoves a huge bite of macaroni into his mouth.

The truth etches away at Angus little by little. He wants to ask that million dollar question that's on his mind but he’s too afraid to ask. If he stays silent, he'll never know the answer. But if he doesn't ask, he may not receive an answer at all.

His father has a habit of dancing around the issue.

But Angus can’t bring himself _not_ to ask. All of the clues are screaming out at him; the new makeup in their bathroom, the fancy outfit hanging on the drying rack in the laundry room, the smell of perfume that has lingered in their apartment for almost a week now.

His father must have gone on a date. That much is obvious.

But _when?_ And with _whom?_

From the limited information Angus does know about his father’s social life, Taako never goes on dates. The only people he surrounds himself with are Angus, his coworkers, and his family over in Virginia. Anyone else he seems to try and avoid at all costs. That doesn’t mean Taako isn’t a sociable person: just a selectively sociable person. Once in awhile, Angus has caught him striking up a conversation with a grocery store worker or some of his teachers after school.

But going on a date with someone? Angus doesn’t even think that it’s possible.

“Angus? Bubba, you’re gonna have to spill the beans eventually or I’m invoking my parental privileges and forcing you to.”

Angus drops his elbow off of the table and shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Should he ask? The whole thought of his father going on a date seems so surreal.

Also, what if the date went well? What if his father is going to see that person again? What if he brings them home? What if they move in? Will the person like Angus? Will they be nice and kind? What if they hate kids? What if they’re mean to him?

It’s been so long since he’s lived under a roof with two parents.

“Angus? Angus, c’mon, tell me what’s eatin’ ya-”

“Did you go on a date?”

Taako freezes, his fork almost falling out of his hand. “W-what-?”

“Did you go out on a date? With whom? Were they nice? Do they like kids? Do they wanna meet me? Or did it not go so well? Was it because of me? I’m sorry if I ruined your date-!”

“Woah, Taquito! Slow down! W-what made you think your old man went out with somebody?” Taako asks nervously.

“The makeup... _and_ the perfume. Also your new skirt,” Angus replies shamefully. “I...I-I saw it hung up in the laundry room…”

Taako blinks. “I...I think you mean hanged up.”

“No, hung is the correct-don’t change the subject, dad!”

“I’m not trying to change anything! D-do you honestly think I would go out with a rando just because I felt like it?” Taako asks. “Sorry to disappoint you, little man, but your dad’s not interested in throwing himself back into the dating field.”

“Oh,” Angus deflates, his shoulders slumping forward. His eyes lower down to his plate of abandoned mac and cheese.

“Wait, did-oh...Ango?”

“Yeah?” Angus looks back up hopefully.

“Don’t…” Taako sighs sharply. “Look, if I ever do go on a date-which don’t be anytime soon! I’ll...I’ll tell you, okay? But if I don’t say anything, maybe...m-maybe don’t ask about it, okay?”

“Why not?’

“It’s not that big of a deal, it’s just...around this time of the year, it’s not the kind of topic I want to be talking about, capiche? And this has nothing to do with me liking guys, you got that?”

“O-of course,” Agnus nods quickly. He moves his fork closer to his plate but hesitates. “Hey dad?”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“What was Aunt Julia like?”

Taako’s face falls. “Oh...well...she was kinda like you, actually. Ridiculously smart, always shoving her way into me and your Uncle Magnus’ daily business. She hated to be left out of stuff. And she never let _anything_ go. Jesus, if she was still here, she would still be reminding me of that one Candlenights when I set the stove on fire-”

“You did what?!” Angus gasps.

“A story for another day, compadre. But you...y-you would’ve liked her. And I know she would’ve liked you, too. So...yeah, that’s Julia…” Taako digs his fork back into his macaroni and sluggishly takes another bite.

“She sounds like a sweet lady,” Angus comments.

“Yeah,” Taako smiles weakly, “she was.”

 

_Now_

 

Another thirty minutes passes by and Hekuba curses at herself for not bringing an extra advil with her for her back pain. She also curses the sun for being too damn hot, the dew soaking into the picnic blanket beneath her, the raspberries Mooky is blowing for being too vexating, and Merle for not taking a hint and scooching just a few inches to the left. Is that too much to ask?

Every few seconds, she takes a glance at her wrist watch, not bothering to make her annoyance any less obvious as she does so, and promptly sighs. Only, what, nine more hours of waiting around left, right? Surely she has earned the right to act a little peeved.

She takes comfort in her daughter Mavis, who, as always, is acting as well behaved as can be and has sat perfectly still this entire time. The same cannot be said for her son, Mooky, who has dug a hole into the earth like a wild puppy with his own two hands, all while humming various songs from his childish cartoons.

Merle isn’t any better. Hekuba’s ex (technically her boyfriend as of right now) keeps opening his mouth and closing it again like some kind of baboon. Hekuba’s temper flares up with every sharp inhale, every twitch of his hands, and every scooth he makes closer to her. God, why can’t he just stop acting like such a whiny brat all the time?

“Hekuba…?”

And now he’s trying to start a conversation with her. Great.

“Heka, you doing ok?”

“Don’t call me that.”

Merle flinches. “I thought you liked that nickname?”

“Used to,” Hekuba mutters. “And I’m fine.”

Merle hums, unconvinced. “You don’t seem like it. What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing.”

“C’mon, it’s gotta be something. You’re pretty clear when something isn’t the way you want it.”

“Oh really? You want to go there? Right now?”

“Hey, if calling you out on it will get you to talk to me, then I will!”

A sharp shushing noise cuts them both off. Both Hekuba and Merle turn their heads to Mavis, who has a finger to his lips. Mavis’ eyebrows and tightly scrunched together until she locks eyes with her mother and she recoils. “Please don’t start fighting. Not here…” She puts her hand back into her lap and looks anywhere but at her parents.

Merle sighs and scratches at his beard (which Hekuba has noticed has been recently trimmed for once). “Mavs is right. Sorry for upsetting you.”

Hekuba chooses to stay silent, pursing her lips from her lingering annoyance. She looks over at Merle’s adoptive son (why Merle thought he needed more children to abandon Hekuba will never know) who has been sitting in the same hunched over position for the past hour now. Mason-no wait, Magnus (she always forgets his name) has not uttered a single word or shed a single tear. Instead, he has wallowed away in his sorrow like a fool. Hekuba doesn’t understand why he refuses to go to an actual therapist or something instead of harboring everything away like some child. It would certainly help his mental health, or at least, help with her not having to deal with his nonsense currently.

But somewhere, in the back of Hekuba’s mind, a tiny voice that has escaped the destructive rule of her toxic family life tells her, “You’re both the same in the end.”

Hekuba ignores the voice just as usual.

Suddenly, the quiet, dismal atmosphere of the cemetery is jolted by the party of locomotives that come cruising into the parking lot down the hill. Car after car comes filing in; relatives of a deceased member of the morgue climbing out and greeting each other. With her less than perfect eyesight, Hekuba barely catches the flustered man who, quite literally, dashes out of the funeral home to welcome the grieving family inside.

Hekuba’s nerves nearly snap as Merle accidentally shoves her in an attempt to get a better view of the party below. “Sorry,” he whispers (or rasps since his voice is so gruff). Much to her anger, Merle refuses to move until his own poor eyes finally adjust to the scene below. “Holy shit.”

“Merle! Do not swear in front of the children!” Hekuba fumes.

“I-ah...I gotta go,” Merle says as he stands up. He shakes his head as if he is caught in some sort of daze. “I’ll, uh...I’ll be back in a few minutes. Just gotta find Taako real quick. Just gotta….yeah. Be right back.” Before Hekuba can open her mouth to protest, Merle takes off down the hill towards the side entrance of the funeral home.

Hekuba crosses her arms and exhales sharply. Magnus seems unfazed by the absence of his adoptive father, just like he was for his brother and nephew.

There’s a tiny hand patting Hekuba’s arm and she looks down to see a dirt-covered Mooky looking up at her. “Where’d dad go?”

Hekuba rolls her eyes. “You know your father. Always running off somewhere.”


	10. Distrust Goes Both Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure how to summarize this chapter without spoiling anything. I'm just real proud of the chapter title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, y'all, all of your comments and kudos mean so much to us. Right now, I'm kind of stressing out about personal stuff and all of your kind words help to put me at ease. It means a lot :)

_Six and a half years ago_

Taako’s eyes marvel over the recipe in front of him for what must be the thousandth time that day alone. He takes in every ingredient he’ll need, every step he needs to carry out, and prays to every divine being imaginable that everything will go smoothly.

But honestly, he’s such an amazing cook, the anxiety building within him seems unnecessary.

“You picked out a dish for winter finals yet?”

“Hmm?” Taako hums, tearing his eyes away from the culinary instructions in front of him. His roommate and classmate Sazed is leaning over the side of his bed with his own cook book in his hands. There’s a certain radiance to his face that Taako finds unnatural for a college student during the end of the first half of the year. “Oh yeah, easy bake, Taako’s all set for that fucking test.”

Sazed beams. “Great! So what are we cooking?”

“Well, you see here,” Taako holds up the recipe sheet, “this thirty-clove garlic chicken right here sounds baller enough to knock ol’ Professor Leon’s socks off-” Then he stops. “Did you say ‘we’?”

“Well, yeah!” Sazed confirms, his cheerful demeter completely unfazed. “I was thinking the two of us could work together, just like the professor said! Then we’d both get the same averaged grade based off of our presentation and culinary skills-”

“Whoa whoa whoa! Take a step back, my dude.” taako holds his arms out in the air as if he actually has to physically stop Sazed from speaking. “Who said we’d be working together? Because, ah, I definitely didn’t agree to form a little tag-team here.”

Sazed’s grin falls. “B-but I thought you would want to team up with me…?”

Taako snickers. “Why? My grade's already above one-hundred percent-o! All Taako needs to keep that superior average is Taako. No need to team up with someone and risk having that perfect structure come crumbling down.”

“B-but I thought we were buddies…friends? Does that mean nothing to you?” Sazed's grip on his cookbook tightens.

“Pal, like no offense intended or whatever, but you’re kind of a shitty cook if you ask me.”

Sazed's eye twitches. “...what?”

Taako brushes a piece of loose hair out of his face. “Well, most of your plates are either undercooked or _way_ overcooked. Not to mention over seasoned. And you’re always trying to use the vacuum sealer even though we both know you have no idea how it works. Also, I know you’ve been cramming to find a recipe for tomorrow all day so if you think you can hitch a ride on the Taako train to carry you to a passing grade, I don’t think so, Sara Lee.”

With that, Taako turns his back to his roommate and goes back to studying his recipe. The steps are starting to become permanently engraved in his mind, nearly to the point where Taako thinks he can leave the sheet in his dorm and still do perfectly fine.

“So you think I’m a...bad chef?”

Taako pretends to come up with an answer, even though his mind is already made up. His voice carries across his opinion without any hesitation or sugarcoating. It is amazing how he is completely unaware that his answer will come back to haunt him for the rest of his life. “I’m just saying, if the two of us did work together, you’d probably be my roadie or something. Can’t see it working out any other way.”

The silence that passes over the dorm has absolutely no effect over Taako. He continues to study his recipe until his phone starts to ding and he quickly goes to check his messages. He is so engrossed in the recent developments on Julia’s condition he fails to notice when Sazed slams his cookbook closed and exits their dorm room, slamming the door behind him.

Around an hour or so later, Taako decides to hit the hay, leaving the thirty-clove garlic chicken recipe completely unguarded on his desk.

When he wakes up, Sazed is gone but his recipe sheet is in unsalvageable shreds.

 

_Now_

 

Angus clutches the paisley turquoise sweater covering up his arms in his hands. The wool knitted to tailor his body has grown softer from years of constant use; its original unbearing itchiness now long gone and nothing more than a distant memory. Tight stitches of deep purple thread tie up the ends of the sweater around his wrist and waist, making sure the wool keeps from unraveling itself as best it can. There are still a few snapped bits on his sleeves, though, which are unavoidable after six years of birthdays, candlenights, and visits to the funeral home.

Endless wash cycles in various washing machines have had no effect on the lavender and sea mist scent that inhabit the sweater, not even after these many years. Every time Angus tucks his head against his chest and wraps his arms around his head, he is transported back to a small cottage house in Neverwinter, Illinois. Most of the details of the house are dulled or lost to Angus’ memory, but he remembers the exact layout of all the rooms. He remembers the porch his mailman would hobble onto every Wednesday morning. The cracked concrete driveway that was home to a permanently-parked ‘79 buick. The tabby cat that would scratch at the front door every night and was eventually adopted the name, “Cosmo.” The recliner that his father would doze off in after work that smelled like all the fish he had chucked that day. The incense his mother set all around the house to combat the odor. The stack of bills on the dining room table and the dusty chandelier above it. The cracks in the kitchen tile. The musty carpet in his bedroom. The various stickers stuck to his bedpost.

He doesn’t remember every time his father would hoist him up on his shoulders, or every kiss his mother planted on his forehead before bed, or every hug they all shared together. But he remembers the warm feelings that came of them.

It’s times like these, when Angus is huddled in the corner of a bathroom stall in the middle of October, that he is truly thankful that the sweater has survived so long.

There’s a rapping on his stall door and Angus jumps at the sound of it. “Ango? Are you ready to go back yet?”

Angus swallows back a lump in his throat. “Y-yeah...I’m coming.” He untangles his arms and pushes off the wall to stand. His knees cramp up once he’s back to his full height, the confined space not adding any help to his comfort. An uneasy quiet settles over the bathroom as he unlatches the stall door’s latch and steps out.

The two of them walk out back into the hallway, Taako taking Angus’ hand and holding it tenderly. Each step they take closer to the exit makes the walls surrounding them zoom farther in and make the floor beneath them rise higher to the ceiling. Angus feels the need to duck, worrying he will get trapped the farther they go.

Taako gives his hand a squeeze and Angus reminds himself that the walls aren’t closing in on them, the floor isn't rising, and everything’s okay.

That is until the exit door is thrown against the wall and his grandfather comes jogging down the hall to meet them. Up close, Merle’s face is flushed and his eyes have a crazed look to them. Angus takes a step back.

“What’s up, old man?” Taako asks, giving Angus’ hand another squeeze.

“You...y-you might wanna...go wait in the truck for a little bit...or maybe come back out now…?”

“Merle, take a goddamn breath or something. You’re spewing out vague bullshit I don’t have the intelligence to decode.”

Merle leans forward on his knees and holds up a hand. Taako and Angus wait patiently.

“Listen, uh, there’s been a situation,” Merle finally rasps, “that may make you uncomfortable. If you want to go back to the truck for a bit, that’s completely acceptable. Magnus will understand.”

“Well, I might consider that if you actually tell me what the hell is poppin’ out there,” Taako snaps.

“Uh, well,” Merle looks down at his hands, his eyes even shiftier than before. ‘It’s, uh, well it’s...i-it’s…” His eyes slam shut and with a loud grunt, he finally stares back up. “Your old roommate's here. Like, he’s probably walking into the funeral home as we speak.”

Angus remembers many things about his old house and his parents, but his young mind struggles to remember how they ever acted any other way than loving. With Taako, however, he knows how he asks whenever something deeply upsets him. His eyebrows narrow, his pupils shrink. Sometimes his nails will be pressed into the palms of his hands, or in this case, Angus’. The corners of his lips curl down and his nostrils flare up.

But this time...this time something is different. Angus looks up at his dad and expects to see the same features he has grown accustomed to these past few years.

Only this time, Taako looks much, _much_ worse.

It’s hard to fully describe what worse actually means but Angus just knows. He can feel his dad’s discomfort and dread-his _fear_ radiate off of him like an atomic particle.

The walls start to close in on them again.

“W-what...what do you wanna do, bud?” Merle stutters.

Taako doesn’t answer. His head starts to sway, his eyes blinking rapidly. Suddenly, he starts gasping for air, leaning on Angus for support. Merle quickly rushes in hold Taako by his arms to keep him up. “Taako? Taako, stay with us, okay? Let’s get you to the truck. Everything’ll be okay once we get you in that truck. Just...just hang in there, kid. Just hang in there.”

Merle takes Taako’s other hand and starts pulling him towards the exit. Taako’s other hand is forced apart from Angus’, who is standing completely still, making no moves to follow his panic-stricken dad or fretful grandpa. The two of them trudge down the hallway, Merle nearly falling over more than once because of just how much Taako is using him as his main support.

Angus just stares at them, unmoving. This isn’t the first time he’s seen his dad in such a state but he’s never seen him so... _vulnerable_. Whoever this person is that has driven his dad to this point, Angus deduces that they must be a bad person.

And bad doesn’t even cover it, but Angus has no idea what took place on a culinary campus the week before winter break six years ago. He has no idea what words were exchanged, the fists and accusations that were thrown, the hospital trips that were made, and the futures that would be shaken. Angus is just a ten year old boy, who’s been through more than a kid his age should ever have to go through, who still doesn’t know a lot about the man who has adopted him. He knows Taako’s favorite color is green (“Lime green _, Ango. Don’t go thinkin’ I’d settle for anything less.”_ ), that his favorite snack is a tube of key lime gogurt, and his favorite track on Hodge Podge is Carly Rae Jepson’s _Run Away With Me._ Angus likes to think he has his dad figured out.

But Taako Taaco is a man surrounded in mystery who won’t even tell his own son why he chooses not to cook anymore.

Something happens to Angus in that hallway. Something inside of him breaks.

Maybe the five years of secrecy and distrust between him and Taako has something to do with it. Maybe it's the emotional burdens his new family has taken on in their lives and have indirectly thrust upon him, too. Maybe it’s what happened in Neverwinter half a decade ago.

Or maybe it’s all of those things.

Regardless of the reason, Angus continues to stand still as the walls close in on him.


	11. Words Shared Between Enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz does his job. Magnus rushes in. Taako has deja vu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite the doozy. There's a lot of plot stuff going down here so hang in there!
> 
> Warnings for verbal abuse and brief descriptions of violence.
> 
> And as always THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Now_

 

Mrs. Aeron makes her stunning debut for her funeral with five minutes to spare. All of the guests are stuck waiting in the lobby with the doors to the ceremony room closed tight. Their impatience and sorrow is seeping through the doors.

Through the back exit to the ceremony room, Kravitz kicks the back exit door open with a loud grunt. “C’mon, hurry!”

“It’s a little hard...to _hurry_ ...when you're carrying a coffin that’s... _over a hundred pounds!_ ” Lucas huffs, his hands supporting the bottom end of the casket in question. Kravitz has the front end and Noelle is there to support the left side. Despite her many prosthetic limbs, she is without a doubt the strongest one there.

The three (four?) of them push through the burning of their muscles until Mrs. Aeron is perfectly centered on the stage in the front of the room. Lucas repositions his glasses before unlatching the front half of the casket.

Kravitz nearly weeps at the sight of Mrs. Aeron’s deader-than-dead face, plastered with a thousand pounds of makeup. “Oh, thank God that’s over.”

“You’re welcome,” Lucas mutters.

Kravitz sighs. “As much as it pains me to say it...you came through for me, Lucas. Thank you. I owe you one.”

“That’s more like it.” Lucas’ smug look makes Kravitz want to take back every word he just said. “Well, I’m gonna go. Kravitz, I’d like to say it’s been a pleasure but I won’t. Next time, don’t throw me a project with less than an hour to get it done.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Next time, I’ll send you a schedule of when my associate plans on drinking himself silly.”

Lucas dismisses his statement, turning to Noelle. “Noelle, always nice to see you. Give my mother a call if you need any help with your prosthetics.”

“‘Twas nice to see you, too. And I will!” The smile on Noelle’s face is, to Kravitz’ surprise, genuine. How someone can act so sincere to Lucas Miller, he will never know.

The moment Lucas leaves the building, Kravitz groans loudly.

“That’s very professional, sir,” Noelle comments.

“How can that guy not wear you out?”

“He seems really nice,” Noelle answers. “On the drive over, he told me all about his days on the job here, and how he’s working for his third phD at Harvard next year. He gave me his mother’s number. She works at the rehab center I go to.”

“That’s very nice, but trust me, once you get to know him, he’s a real pain in the arse.”

Noelle shrugs (more accurately, she shrugs with her one remaining shoulder). “Maybe to work with. Like my pa always said, ‘Never judge a book by it’s cover!’”

“Well, I’m glad you have an easy time making friends, Noelle,” Kravitz responds. “It’s a quality I wish I could possess. Now we have work to do. Go let in the family, would you?”

“Yessir!” Noelle beams, half-walking, half-jogging to the main doors to the room. Kravitz watches as she rushes to allow the Aeron family their proper grieving tie, then pinches the bridge of his nose with a moan. _It’s alright_ , he tells himself, _she’s here. The family is coming in. You’ll still have a job tomorrow. Everything will be fine._

The doors open and as the tearful faces of Mrs. Aeron’s relatives come streaming in, Kravitz drops his hand, puts on a kind smile, and greets them all with a firm handshake.

 

~~~~~

 

Taako can feel the dirt path beneath him crumbling away and dissolving into ash. His feet are moments away from falling through and letting his plummet into a pit located in the deepest pool of his insecurities. In his lungs, he can already feel the smoldering flecs of the burning ground piling up, smothering him. Bits of the ashes fly into his eyes, mixing with the tears that have started to form. The sting he feels everytime he tries to blink is completely agony.

The soothing words Merle is whispering to him never make it to his ears. Even if they did, Taako wouldn’t be able to understand how those words could be true. Not when Sazed is here. Not on Julia’s anniversary.

His left hand is enveloped in Merle’s while the other one is empty.

Taako is too far gone to wonder where his son is.

It has been six years since Taako last saw Sazed, during the fight that cost him his future in the culinary world. All that wrath and humiliation has haunted him for half a dozen years. His mind is replaying the entire ordeal and the events leading up to it, just like it has been since it happened. What could he have done differently? What could he have said to fix the bridges that were burned?

No matter how many scenarios he goes through, Taako knows he would have done the exact same thing if given a do-over. He stood up for himself and lost. The last thing he would ever give Sazed the satisfaction of is knowing he had beat him.

But as he’s thinking that, Taako recognizes just how much he’s shaking and _Oh God I’m having a panic attack and I haven’t even seen the bastard yet what’s wrong with me Jesus-_

He’s scared. He’s scared and anxious beyond belief because the man who ruined his life and tried to knock his lights out after calling him the most fowl of names is _right here_. Right here in this cemetery, less than a hundred yards away.

They pass by the main entrance to the funeral home, the parking lot in plane view. “Almost there, buddy. Almost there,” Merle assures him, patting his back gently. Taako allows himself a moment to listen because Merle’s right. In a few hundred feet, he’ll be safe inside the truck. No one will find him there. Sazed won’t find him there. He will have plenty of time to calm down and wait in silence. Back in his peaceful void away from the troubles of the world. The troubles of his family. He will have plenty of time to feel remorseful later when Sazed isn’t in the picture. Everything will be fine once Sazed leaves…

“Taako?”

With one word, everything goes from bad to so, _so_ much worse.

Merle turns to face the source of the voice, his grip tightening on Taako. ”Can I help you, pal?”

Footsteps. Heavy and unbalanced footsteps approach them. “Holy fuck, it _is_ you.”

Slurred words, mostly on the vowels. The strong sense of whiskey that suddenly catches Taako’s scent. Same gruff voice from six years ago that has haunted him to this very day.

“Hey, buddy, if you don’t mind, we’re trying to get somewhere-” Merle starts, his own voice sharp with hostility. Then he is pushed aside. Taako watches merle stumble backwards and lose his hold on his son before falling into the dirt.

“I’m tryin’a talk ta my old roomie, ya old fart. Get outta the way.”

An old spark ignites inside of Taako, leading to an inferno that will repeat his mistake six years ago. His face scrunches up, jaw set, fists clenched. He turns to face the man behind him, hair smacking into the side of his face by how fast he moves. With a newly set determination, he growls with anger.

“ _HEY!_ ”

Sazed’s own steely gaze shuts him down immediately. “Hey ‘erself, friend. What has it been? Five, six ‘’ears? Feels a lot longa t’e be honest.”

 

~~~~~

 

Magnus has come to loathe silence.

His earlier years in life were always filled with noise. Playful yelling from the rowdy kids at his various foster homes. The sizzling of a frying pan in Merle’s kitchen. Blaring music from the radio of his first truck. Drunk banter at his friends’ parties. Obnoxious but hilarious voicemails from Taako. Julia’s laughter that would always follow his jokes, whether or not they were terrible.

Magnus loved the noise. He loved hearing people talk with a gigantic smile on their face. He loved the _smack_ that came of catching a baseball in his glove, and Merle’s cheer of approval that would follow. He loved the snarky riffs Taako would throw at him whenever they were arguing, because Magnus always knew his brother didn’t mean a word he said. He loved hearing the classic theme from _Growing Pains_ whenever Julia could call him up on his phone.

With noise, there came company. For Magnus, company meant tranquility.

Now, after all that’s happened, Magnus longs to be surrounded by noise again. Living on his own for the past six years without hearing a single word from a soul except himself has robbed Magnus of that peace that was always there for him. Every morning when he wakes up, his heart drops when he remembers he’s never going to hear Julia’s voice that day. That he will never here her talk about Steven or complain about the various medical treatments she’s undergoing. Or hear her laugh echo through their house. Or hear her say, “I love you, too, Mags.”

There is only silence in their house and silence upon her grave.

The longer Magnus stands at the only marker in this world that proves Julia Burnsides existed, the more he aspires for that unity. The moss growing at the bottom of her tombstone is a blatant sap to his face on just how long it has been since the love of his life was ripped away from him. Magnus wonders how has he endured this much time without Julia. It seems impractical for a person as emotionally tied to his loved ones like him.

Magnus has survived the loss, the sorrow, and the silence, but has never truly found peace. How can he ever find that if he has no idea how? He thought that overtime the pain would subside and fade from his mind.

The neverending feeling of loneliness has proven him wrong.

“What’s goin’ on down der?” Mooky asks, his question nearly flying over Magnus’ head.

“Mooky, be quiet,” Hekuba scolds him.

“But momma, some guy jus’ pushed pappa.”

“What?” Hekuba asks just as Magnus returns back to the world around him. He climbs out of his rocking chair and sways on his feet, his legs wobbly from sitting for so long. Hekuba and Mavis have turned around to face the edge of the hill, Magnus right behind them.

The scene below reeks of growing hostility. Merle’s hands are outstretched in the dirt, patting around for a pair of glasses that are too far to his left for him to reach.  To his right, Taako is towering beneath the gaze of a taller man before him, his hands clenched into fists. A scowl is plastered to his face but can tell just by his stance that his brother is _terrified_.

It takes a moment for Magnus to see through his haze of grieving and recognize the man standing over Taako. The man’s features line up with a foggy memory that rook place on a campus many years ago. Despite the added age and clear signs of a current battle with alcoholism, Magnus knows he will never truly forget Sazed. Not after that he did to Taako.

With a clouded judgement, muddled with various negative emotions, Magnus takes off down the hill. The anger bubbling up inside of him greatly outweighs the protests from Hekuba, with his sorrow acting as a catalyst.

When Sazed starts shouting in Taako’s face, Magnus breaks into a run.

 

~~~~~

 

“Hey, you gonna talk ‘ta me, ‘ko? Why ya gotta stay shut up like that? Don’t cha wanna catch up?”

Taako opens his mouth, but only air comes out. His brain can’t piece together a proper response. Never in a million years did he think he’d ever have to see Sazed again. Especially not after ways the way they did. Not after the restraining order that was filed.

“Eh, earth to Ta-aako?” Sazed nearly laughs, a hiccup breaking up his words. His body lurches over like an unstable beam as he tries to jester while speaking. “Ya fuckin’ ignoring me or some crap?”

“…Y-…you’re not supposed to be here,” Taako responds meekly, ashamed of just how small he sounds. How small he _feels_.

Sazed chuckles. “Why the hell not? ‘Ts my aunt’s fun’ral aft’r all. Y’ sayin’ I’m not welcome here?”

“I-I’m saying,” Taako continues, the crack in his voice barely failing to break his resolve, “I’m saying you can’t be here. By _me_. And y-you sure and heck can’t push my old man to the ground like that. T-there’s a restraining order in place, remember-?”

“Ta heck with that dang restrainin’ ordah!” Sazed growls. A dark shadow passes over his face. He raises his hands above him, curling them tight enough to do some serious damage if used to inflict harm upon someone.

Taako is horrified by how quickly he flinches.

Sazed blinks. With a terrible laugh, he lowers his hands, but does not unwound then. “Can’t, ah…can’t a guy just talk to his friend?”

“We are _not_ friends.”

Sazed lifts an eyebrow. “C’mon, don’t be that way,” he huffs. A strong scent of whiskey fills Taako’s nostrils.

“Sazed, I think you should go inside. Go mourn for your auntie.” The small flame of resilience starts to burn one again inside of Taako. With every word he speaks without fumbling, more fuel is added to the fire.

But then Sazed smirks. “What if I don’t want to?”

Taako clenches his own fists. “Sazed, _go inside_. This conversation is over.”

The grin on Sazed’s face vanishes. “You don’t wanna talk? You don’t wanna have a …real _civil_ conversation on how we ended up here? Why I’m not a professional chef right now?! A celebrity?!”

“Don’t count your eggs before they hatch. The only one to blame for that is yourself,” Taako snaps, even though it is only the half-truth.

“ _YOU RUINED MY LIFE!_ ” Sazed wails in what could be an alcohol-influenced rage. His voice attracts the attentions of some of his fellow mourners wandering into the funeral home. Soon, a small audience cautiously surrounds them, hesitant to step in and defuse the quickly escalating situation.

Sazed’s words circle around in Taako’s mind, taunting him, daring him to cower in shame and concede. But as utterly terrified as he is, Taako does not hold his tongue. “You didn’t exactly make my life so fantastic, either.”

Sazed just goes off. First by screaming every venomous curse he knows. None of which bear repeating. Then by insulting Taako in a ruthless, hateful passion.

“IF YOU HAD JUST PULLED YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS, WE COULD HAVE BEEN ON TOP OF THE WORLD! W-We…We could’ve been _GREAT!_ How could you DO THIS TO _ME?_ Your roommate? Your _FRIEND_ ?! After everything I _DID FOR YOU!_ You led me on! Let me think we had each other’s back-!”

“I NEVER promised you _ANYTHING-!_ ”

“LIAR! FUCKING LIAR! YOU’RE A _FUCKING LIAR!_ ” With the flip of a switch, Sazed goes from snarling to grinning. “Y’know…I’m glad that I took you down with me. A selfish bastard like yourself never deserved to make it to the top. You’re _worthless_ , Taako. And you’ll die worthless. Never accomplishing anything, and I’ll be there to laugh at you all the way. In the end, we’re the same. But you know what makes me better than you? Huh? Do you know? I’m not tryin’ to hide from that.”

Sazed laughs, and Taako knows the sinister sound will forever be implanted in his memory. “I’m here aren’t I? Talkin’ to you? I’m not running from what really happened back then. And I don’t need no damn paper to turn me into a spineless fool like you…Hey, don’t ignore me! ANSWER ME, TAAKO! TELL ME WHY IT ENDED UP THIS WAY! _TELL ME WHY WE’RE HERE_ , YOU FUCKING _BASTARD!_ ”

Taako just can’t hear Sazed anymore. It’s like his brain has just shut off, refusing to take in any more of the venom that the words seep into him. The fire inside of him has died in a puff of smoke. Too much. It’s all just too much. Not on this day, not when his whole family is here. Not when Angus is here.

He’s completely out of the situation. He’s gone back into the void. So far gone that he barely registers Magnus, six foot, eleven inches Magnus Burnsides, with arms as thick as an ox and knuckles as hard as steel, socks Sazed square in the jaw.

Taako is pulled back to the present. His hand reaches out almost to grab Sazed as he stumbles backwards, barely having time to catch himself. One of his legs straightens up and he throws his arms out to balance himself. There’s blood leaking out of a split on his bottom lip and the start of a deep blue bruise forming on the left side of his face. The anger in his eyes hasn’t died back at all; it’s only grown stronger.

Taako throws an arm out in front of Sazed. “Magnus, stop-!” his voice cracks. He doesn’t need Magnus to fight his battles. Not today, not when he’s already fighting his own.

He turns back around. Something solid hits him right between his eyes, followed by seemingly defeating snap. Taako feels the impact hit him like a truck barrelling down the highway and the lightless sensation that follows afterwards.

Metal. He smells metal.

Voices scream out in shock but they fizzle out of his ears like static. Everything seems to slow down, like someone grabbed the handles on a clock and forced them to a stop. Incoherent thoughts run through his head.

_Hey, what-? Magnus-? Where’s-? All these people- Did anyone-? Angus-_

Then everything comes to a halt and all Taako can see is black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the last two paragraphs of this chapter about a month before the rest of it and I was so excited to finally be able to finish the whole thing.
> 
> Is Taako okay??? Will Sazed and Magnus fight??? It's called a cliffhanger, baby. You're gonna have to wait and see ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	12. October Fourteenth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day everyone was broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still can't believe the Balance campaign is ending this week! Like THIS THURSDAY?! I am #notready
> 
> Originally, I was planning on waiting another day before uploading this chapter but I'm really excited for what's coming and I posted it early. Enjoy!
> 
> Warnings for hospital themes for the first half of this chapter and more descriptions of violence.

_Six Years Ago_

 

Taako races out of the elevator the moment the doors wide enough to let him through. Bright florescent lights threaten to blind him. Stretchers, wheelchairs, and benches turn the long hallway he’s racing down into a cramped obstacle course. The air is sterile. He passes a group of nurses deep in a hushed conversation. Just inside the room closest to them, a different nurse is unplugging a heart monitor.

Taako starts running even faster, dodging past various patients and doctors in his way. He pushes past a woman overcome with grief, clutching her phone to her chest as she sobs and Taako prays to every deity he knows that won't be him in the future. But with every tear-stained face he runs past, he easily pictures himself right in their shoes.

His fate is inevitable, and the moment he turns the corner it becomes reality.

A group of doctors and nurses are crowded around a single hospital room, rushing around and calling out orders with various medical tools in their hands. Their voices are close to the point of shouting, but their tone comes off more as exhausted and stretched for time than panicked. One of them brushes passed Taako as he makes his way over, a artificial look of sympathy plastered on their face.

There is a familiar man standing on the opposite side of the hallway, staring at the open door as the doctors and nurses continue their work. Taako runs up to him without hesitation, with an ache in his chest and a wobbliness in his knees. Merle looks up at him, eyes brimming with fresh tears, and a look that answers all of Taako’s questions in an instant.

He asks them anyway.

“How is she? Am I too late?”

Merle blinks. Big, fat tears roll down his cheeks. He purses his lips together and nods.

The realization of what future awaits Taako hits him like a punch to the gut. His breath catches in his throat as his lungs suddenly forget how to operate. The ache in his chest fills his entire body.

His heart shatters into a million pieces.

“No...no no no _no_ -Mags?”

Merle shuts his eyes with a strangled sigh. “Next hall over.” He points a thumb in the general direction and Taako is off. It’s not that far away, meaning there isn’t enough time for Taako to prepare himself for what he’s going to say. There will never be enough time.

Because, _fuck_ , what is he going to say to Magnus? What _can_ he say? What can he tell someone who has lost everything? Or at least, the one person in this fucked up place of a world they all call home that filled him with never ending joy?

Taako knows he shouldn't be the one to comfort him. His specialty is not with emotions. Especially not with emotions such as loss. Even though he has experienced so much loss in his life. His birth parents, his twin, his future career-

His sister-in-law and close friend.

But this time it’s different. Taako doesn’t remember a thing about his real parents. He has come to terms with the fact that he may never see Lup again. All that emotional turmoil has had time to be repressed deep down inside his soul.

And even though less than twenty four hours ago, he was scrambling to clean out his dorm room, his newest loss doesn't even come close to what his brother must be feeling right now. It can’t.

The distance between Taako and Magnus becomes smaller and smaller. That’s when the shock hits him. Taako’s feet begin to drag, His eyes mist over. All of a sudden, it feels as if his body is going to collapse.

Everything is just happening so _fast_ and a few days ago he was still a student and still living on campus and Julia was still _alive_ and no one was sad and everyone was happy-

No. No, they weren’t truly happy Taako realizes. They all just allowed themselves to believe Julia’s doctor when they told them she had more time. They threw their faith into a statement that was contradicted by the fact that she was no longer allowed to leave the hospital.

In the moment when Taako fully looks back and sees all the signs leading up to this day, he is bombarded with a thousand different feelings all at once. Denial, resentment, embarrassment, anguish, and anger that warms his blood up to the point of boiling. He’s _angry_ at how foolish they all were. How naive they were to simply allow themselves to believe everything would get better. What, did they expect for Julia’s illness to just disappear overnight?

He can feel the sobs building up inside of him and even _that_ makes him angry. He’s distraught; he’s allowed to cry. But the part of him that’s kicking and screaming child's him for it. _It’s all you can do. It’s all you choose to do. This is because you couldn’t accept what was right in front of you._

It’s not fair for Taako to tear himself up like this but he doesn’t know what else to do. He still doesn’t know what he’s going to say to Magnus. He’s not sure what any of them are supposed to do now. Are they supposed to toss Julia’s memory aside completely? Are they meant to suffer for the rest of their lives until they kick the bucket like her? And if those are the only choices in front of them, how to they do it? How do they even begin to cope?

Can they even do that?

Taako is certain he can’t. One look at Magnus as he turns the corner makes him believe he can’t either.

To say that Magnus looks terrible is a severe understatement. The man is _absolutely broken_ . He is hunched over on a bench, hands grasping at the hair on his head tight enough to pull out chunks. The small amount of relief Taako feels for the fact that Magnus is turned away from is quickly diminished by just how _still_ he is. His body isn’t racking out violent sobs or shaking uncontrollably. He’s a statue, hardened to the core from agony.

“M-Magnus?”

Magnus flinches at the sound of Taako’s voice. He turns, an expression on his face that is on the teetering point of a complete melt down. It’s hurts Taako to look at it, so much to the point where he feels like he’s physically dying. This has to be death right? No, he must already be dead. This is hell.

They both stay where they are for an eternity. Taako standing on legs made of broken glass and Magnus staring at him like the world is on fire. They are at a standstill, unsure of what to say or what to do next.

“Magnus, I’m so-” Taako starts but stops himself. All Magnus has probably heard since Julia’s death has been that same bullshit apology on loop. He shuts his mouth and sighs in frustration. “God, what am I supposed to say? I can’t even-I _just_ …”

Fuck, he’s fumbling so badly and his voice is cracking so much it’s nearly inaudible and none of this is helping. If anything it’s only making things _worse_ -

“You made it.”

Magnus’ voice is so quiet, so _small_ that Taako barely hears it.

“Y-Yeah, Mags. I’m here. I packed up with time to spare.” It’s a lie. It’s a damn filthy lie but a trip to Target to pick up the items he left behind is nothing compared to how much his presence must mean to Magnus right now. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Finally, Magnus’ dam breaks, tears falling down his face at an alarming rate. Taako goes into a full on panic attack. _Fuck, how could I say something like that? He doesn’t need any more promises. He doesn’t need-_

Magnus has two arms around Taako before another insecure thought can chip away at him. He flinches at first, then quickly returns the embrace, whispering the same promise to his brother again and again in an effort of calm him down.

With a terrible cry, Magnus presses his face into Taako’s chest. His sobs can be heard all the way down to the elevator shaft and across the globe. He is in pain and the damage inflicted on him today will stick with him for the rest of his life. There isn’t any number of years that can relieve it.

Then Taako starts crying, because sadness is a contagious disease and the world is a cruel, heartless bitch. They both cry openly in each other’s arms as the world continues to spin, even though their has stopped. In other parts of the hospital, newborns are being held in their mother's arms for the first time. In town, children are playing and friends are laughing. Couples are dancing. Dogs are running. Birds are singing. People are smiling.

But Taako and Magnus continue to cry in that hospital, with fear in their minds and sorrow in their hearts. Years will pass by and better times will come for them.

But a part of them will never leave that hospital.

 

_Now_

 

Just as Kravitz’s day is turning around for the better, fate decides to throw a curveball right at his face.

Most of the attendees for Mrs. Aeron’s funeral wander into the ceremony room, utter a few words to the other guests, and quietly take a seat. It’s a common, almost if not customary way for participants to enter the funeral home. Melancholy, silent, and ready to get the day over with.

One after another, people file in and fill the room and Kravitz is filled with an immense sense of alleviation. For once today, nothing is wrong. As it should be in the funeral business. Noelle greets everyone she sees with a kind smile and offers those who are weepy a tissue from her pocket. Kravitz continues to shake hands with the Aeron family and offers them words of comfort. It’s routine. It’s sincere. It’s the way things should me.

That is until someone outside starts shouting.

More cries are quickly thrown into the mix and the attendees inside turn in curiosity towards the entrance. “What’s goin’ on?” someone asks.

A man dressed in his Sunday best barrels into the room in a panic. “Tom, get out here! It’s your boy!”

“What happened? What’s he doing?” A man also dressed to the nines, who Kravitz assumes is Tom, bolts out of his chair.

“He’s picking a fight with somebody! He already knocked one fellow’s lights out!”

“ _Christ!_ ” Tom swears, darting past his family to follow the other man outside. The somber, calm environment in the room has suddenly been replaced with mass confusion as nearly all the guests rush outside to witness the fight that has broken out. Kravitz is nearly knocked off his feet in the commotion.

Noelle dodges the crowd and runs to his side. “Sir, do we follow them?”

Kravitz tries to wrap his mind around the fastly-escalating situation. “I...yes. This has never happened before.”

“I don’t find that hard to believe,” Noelle comments as the two of them take off to follow the crowd.

A sizable group of people are blocking the funeral home’s front doors, causing not only a major fire hazard but a decent road block for the two of them. Kravitz politely starts making his way through the crowd, spouting apologies before he even bumps into someone. Noelle is not far behind.

Finally, Kravitz breaks free of all the bodies in his path. When he finally sees what all the commotion about, a part of him wishes he could turn a blind eye.

Two men are in the middle of an all-out brawl. One man has a steady stream of blood trickling out from his nostril and the arms of three over men around him. He is shouting curses between breaths and struggling to pull free from his captors.

The other person is a mammoth of a man, with a set of bushy sideburns on either side of his face and limbs made of steel beams. The only injury that is noticeable is the black eye on the left side of his face and the rip on his dress shirt. Similar to the other man, a (significantly larger) group of people are trying to subdue him and keep him from throwing another punch.

Kravitz realizes with a start that the man is Magnus Burnsides of the Burnsides party.

Which means that the blond man currently laying motionless on the ground must be-

Taako.

Noelle pushes past Kravitz and comes to a halt. “Geezy creezy! What the hell happened here?! Is that man dead?!”

“I’m not sure. I-I don’t think so,” Kravitz responds, shaking his head in disbelief. What happened to the silent Utopia they were all just apart of? What happened to Taako? Kravitz can’t seem to move his body, even if the logical side of his brain is telling him to step in and end the fight or else his recently-secured job is going to be ripped away from him. He has dealt with the dead for years now and seen more corpses than he can count. But the idea that he may have just witnessed death itself? It scares him.

“Uh, Kravitz...sir?” Noelle points shaking finger towards the north. “Look.”

Kravitz does indeed look to where Noelle is pointing. His stomach drops. Pulling into the main gates of the cemetery are none other than the local city police. Their lights are flashing a violent red and blue and their sirens are wailing.

“Oh boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Tom in this chapter wasn't meant to be Tom Bodett but after rereading it, I guess it could be seen either way. It's up to you.


	13. More than a Business Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, a lot goes down in this chapter and y'all might feel pretty attacked by the end of it so sorry in advanced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, I have absolutely no idea how restraining orders work, or how the legal system works in general, and two of my family members are in the law industry. So just bear with me here during this chapter. It's not important to the plot or anything but if it takes you out of the story I apologize.
> 
> And as always, THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!!!!

_ Now _

 

When Taako comes to, the sky above is pure white and his skull is on fire.

All five of his senses return to him like sand trickling through an hourglass; slowly and then in a sudden rush. His eyes fight to stay open and adjust to the blinding light. The same metal taste that coated his mouth before passing out is still present on the back of his tongue and the tips of his teeth. He flexes his fingers and wiggles his wrists, delighting him to know he still had some kind of mobility. Underneath his palm, chunks of cracked, dry dirt dig into his skin.

The pulsing in his temple suddenly magnifies itself, bringing tears to his swollen eyes. His face scrunches up in response, his teeth clenching tightly together with a hiss. The pain only worsens. It’s as if his head is a nail that’s being hammered down on by a boulder.

His breath catches in his throat, but when he tries to breathe, his nose is engulfed in flames. The rest of his body tries to curl in on itself, his hands reaching up to claw at his face in some kind of misguided attempt to hid himself of the trauma.

Two hands are quickly grasping his wrists and placing them back at his sides. “Sir, please stay still. I know it hurts but movin’ is only goin’ to make it worse.”

Taako blinks away the tears in his eyes. His vision clears just in time to offer him a short glance of the lady beside him before she gently place a cool cloth on his bridge of his nose. It stings him immediately. “Sh _ it shit shit! _ ”

“Just hold onto that until I tell you to move.”

Taako groans with mild irritation. “What’s broken? How long was I out?”

“You’ve been unconscious for only a couple of minutes, sir. Only your nose was broken,” the lady informs him. “It’s kinda...well...it’s kinda crooked lookin’-”

“The man who assaulted you managed to fracture your left nasal bone,” a familiar voice says. “It’s going to need a splint to properly heal itself.”

Taako turns his head to the man kneeling beside him. “Huh...Oh, Krav- _ ow! _ ”

“We should try to sit you up, in case you start choking on your own blood. Noelle?”

“Yeah. On three. One...three!”

Before Taako can brace himself, Kravitz and Noelle hoist him upright by his shoulders, sending another jolt of pain through his cranium. “Ow ow ow  _ ow! _ ”

“How are you feeling? Are you nauseous? Do you feel like you’re going to pass out again?” Kravitz questions him.

“N-no...it just hurts,” Taako shakes his head. “What the fuck happened? Where’s...where’s Sazed?”

“Who?”

“You mean the guy who socked ya?” Noelle asks.

“Y-yeah, that’s him.”

“They just pushed him into the back of one of those cop cars.” Noelle points to the small cluster of white Dodge Chargers currently parked in the middle of the funeral home’s grassy quad. Through the tinted windows of the car closest to where the three of them are sitting, Taako can make out the vague silhouette of his old college roommate slumped forward in his seat. A small chill runs down his spine.

Behind that car, Taako sees two officers fighting to shove another large man into the backseat of a different Charger. The man isn't putting up much of a fight, more than he is too tall to stick his head in without hitting the top of the car. When the officers finally tuck the man inside, he seems to shrink in on himself even more.

Taako manages to make out who the person is before one of the officers slams the car door shut.

“No, God,  _ Magnus… _ ”

The shame hits Taako instantly. This is all his fault. He should have never allowed Sazed to get to him so easily. He should have just walked away. How could he let this happen to Magnus? Especially today, the hardest day of the whole fucking year for him?

Fresh tears begin to pile up in the corners of Taako’s eyes. His heart turns to lead and sinks to the bottom of his stomach. “ _ Shit _ ,” he whispers to no one in particular. “How could I let this  _ happen... _ ?” His last words are so airy they’re nearly inaudible.

“Excuse me? Mr. Taaco?” Taako barely bothers to look up at the policeman walking over in their direction. Compared to his co-officers, this man’s uniform has more medals pinned to his shirt and extra padding in his shoulders that makes him seem taller than his actual height has him appear. He gets down on one knee once he approaches the three of them, his body language giving off a friendly attitude that Taako is too panic-stricken to appreciate. “My name is Captain Bain. I’m going to need to ask you a few question about what happened between you and Sazed Aeron and the fight afterwards. But first, we need to get you to a nearby clinic so you can get proper treatment for your injury. Are you here with anyone else-?”

“I’m here!” A gruff voice shouts off in the distance. A moment later, Merle is standing beside Captain Bain, panting for breath. His glasses are back on his face, the lenses covered in a layer of dirt that is going to be hell to clean off later. Behind him, Taako spies Hekuba and her children standing together not too far away. “I’m here with him, sir. I’m his old man. My sons didn’t do anything wrong. Mr. Aeron was the first one to instigate all this. I was there! I swear by it-!”

“Calm down! Calm down, Mr…?”

“Highchurch. Merle Highchurch.”

“Right. Mr. Highchurch, there will be plenty of time to figure out who’s fault all of this is. And so far, nobody from the Aeron family is pressing charges. We would like to escort your son to a local clinic so he can have his nose looked at, but we’re going to need to question anyone else in your family and all the other witnesses here. It will take some time to get the story sorted out-”

“Angus.” Taako blurts out the name without any warning. “Angus. Dad, where’s Angus?”

Merle’s eyes widen. “I-I thought he was still following us after we came outside-?”

“I didn’t see him. He wasn’t there during the fight-” Taako’s blood runs cold. “Oh no. Dad, where is he? Where did he go-?!”

“Hold on!” Bain cuts him off. “Who’s Angus?”

“My son. The two of us were inside the home before the fight, and when we left, he stayed behind me...at least I think he did. He could be inside-” Suddenly, a thought so terrifying to Taako that he feels his heart stop crashes into his train of thought. “He might have come out after us and saw what happened…”

“We’ve rounded up everyone we believe to be a witness already,” Bain informs him. “If you think your son may have run off, we’ll start searching for him right away. Can you give me a quick description about him?”

Taako starts pointing out every fact about Angus that pops into his head. He gives Captain Bain his description, his age, tells him what clothes he’s wearing, what school he goes to, what his favorite book series is, etc. until his voice is hoarse and Bain cuts him off.

“Alright, I think that’s enough. More than enough, really,” the captain mutters “Now, we should really get you over to that clinic.” With a huff, he rises to his feet and offers a hand out for Taako.

“Wait,” Taako pushes his hand away, “I gotta find my son. I can’t...I can’t leave!”

“Mr. Taaco, you need to get yourself patched up,” the captain insists. “Your son hasn’t even been missing for over forty eight hours and there of plenty of people here capable of searching for him.”

“No, no I can’t-” Taako tries to protest.

“Taako,” Merle interrupts, “You really don’t look so good. If you don’t get your nose looked at soon, you’re gonna have serious consequences in the long run. We’ll stay here and find Angus.”

“But somebody’s gotta get Mags. We can’t leave him sitting in a jail cell on Julia’s anniversary. You gotta go get him!”

“Someone will get Magnus! But it’ll be easier to find Ango while the sun’s still out. Go. Hekuba and I will take care of everything,” Merle reasons with him.

Taako presses the hand currently not holding the cloth against his nose over his eyes. He can’t leave, no matter what anyone else tells him. If Angus witnessed the fight between him and Sazed, Taako knows he could never forgive himself. He never told Angus exactly what happened that got him expelled from culinary school; only that he had gotten in a pretty serious fight. How would Angus react to hearing about it through Sazed cussing him out on the spot?

Angus didn’t deserve to learn about what happened that way. He deserved to hear it from Taako himself.

“This is all my fault.”

There is a beat of silence, followed by an uncertain hum. “Uh-” Kravitz clears his throat, “A-After questioning, I can help look for your son. Or I can drive you to the clinic, if you need me to.” Taako uncovers his face and looks at him. “I-I’m a host of this establishment. It’s my job to make sure anyone who puts a love one in my care is taken care of themselves. And...you look like you could use the help.”

Taako continues to stare at him, amazed, before thinking about the lack of hands his family currently has on deck. “Y-Yeah...that would be cool if you help out.” He turns to Merle. “Stay here and look for Ango. The two of us will be r-right back.”

Merle nods sharply and places a hand on Taako shoulder. “We’ll find him, Taako. He couldn’t have gone far.”

 

_ Five and a Half Years Ago _

 

The funeral for Angus’ parents is small, with almost zero attendants besides the community morticians and the two child service workers who are escorting him. Their caskets are both made of a dark wood that reflects every tearful expression on Angus’ face when he looks down them. All it took was a single driver blowing a red light and a few inches of wood to separate him from his parents forever.

It’s something a child should never have to go through, and yet here he is. A five year old forced to face on the world for the rest of his life alone, with no family to support him.

“Are you sure there are no other living relatives?” Angus hears one of the workers attempt to mutter under their breath.

“Besides his grandfather, no,” the other one says. “And his grandpa wouldn’t have the funds to raise him now even if he could take care of himself. Is it true he really payed for all this?”

“That’s what I’ve heard. But we can’t ship the kid off to a nursing home. C’mon, there has to be someone.”

“There is no one else.” Angus can feel their eyes burning holes into the back of his head. “He’s going to have to be placed into foster care until someone miraculously pops up.”

Foster care. Angus knew kids in his old preschool who were in foster homes. They would hang around for a few months before simply never showing up again. Angus can’t imagine just...disappearing like that. Being forced to go somewhere else and make new friends. Strangers weren’t strangers once you talked to them is what his grandfather always said. But Angus doesn’t want to make new friends. He just wants his parents back and to go live in his house and to go to his old school and for everything to go back to the way it  _ was _ -

“Hey, uh, I got a delivery here. Sorry it’s late.”

Angus is startled by an unfamiliar voice. He looks behind his shoulder for just a moment and sees a young man holding two large bouquets of flowers in his arms. Shortly later, he somberly turns his attention back to his parent’s coffins. They are both tailored to be the same size, even though his father was a full foot and a half taller than his mother. Angus hopes his father’s body is comfortable, even if he can’t feel anything. Neither of the morticians let him see all the way inside the casket besides their faces.

Suddenly, Angus is sniffling. Then he’s crying. He wraps his arms around himself as his entire body is racked with sobs. His eyes are shut tightly together. It’s all too much. Too much for a little boy to have to deal with. For anyone to have to deal with. And the funeral just started. In his mind, a single plea is screaming out.  _ I just wanna go home. I just wanna go home. I just wanna go home. _

Eventually, when no more tears come out and the sobs subside, he starts to calm down. The collar of his shirt is wet and sticking to his skin. His body feels like it’s a million degrees and frozen at the same time. If someone were to approach him, he would shatter into a million, tiny pieces and be scattered all over the cemetery. No one could salvage what would be left of him. No one  _ can _ . There is no one left on the face of this earth who can salvage what Angus has lost.

When he opens his eyes, Angus sees the man with the bouquets standing silently by his side. He jumps and blinks away the mist in his eyes.

“Sorry, sir. I...didn’t see you there.”

The man is looking down at him, almost towering, and it makes Angus shrink in on himself. His eyes dart anxiously from the dead grass beneath his feet to the bright flowers bundled up together.

“These are, ah, for you to place down,” the man says, cautiously offering out the bouquets. Angus takes them and cradles them by his chest. He looks back up to the man, who through the stray hairs hanging down over his face, has a longing look in his eyes.

“Thank you,” Angus replies with a voice more fragile than glass. Then he turns to the caskets. They must only be a couple feet away from him, but the distance Angus walks is a thousand miles. As he places each bouquet down overtop of his parent’s bodies, he can feel a weight in his chest grow heavier and heavier.

Before he starts to cry again, Angus backs up to where the man is standing. No matter how far he tries to step back, the emotional sting still continues to lash out at him.

“I’ll check out the foster applicants once this is over,” one of the child service workers continues.

“There aren’t many in town, last time I checked.”

“God, I don’t want to move this kid too far away from his home. The least we can do for him is to try and start him off somewhere familiar”

“Well, that’s not really up to us, Linda. You know that by now.”

Their words are a harsh breeze, sweeping Angus away like a fragile leaf and tossing him into the endless sky above, His future is no longer in his hands. It never was. He is too young to take care of himself but too old to not understand what is going on. It’s frustrating, and it’s more than just frustrating, but Angus is so hurt and so _ scared _ that there is no way to describe how he truly feels.

“H-hey,” The man beside him  suddenly speaks, fighting for his words.. “I-um….sorry for your loss. I just went through a similar thing myself and….i-it’s hard. How are you holding up, uh...pumpkin?”

“...Not well.”

The man sighs. “Yeah...I get that. What were they like? Your mom and dad?”

Angus’ lower lip starts to quiver. “I don’t...really want to talk about them right now.”

“Right, right. I...get that, too. Sorry.”

“But, um, they were really nice...I loved them very much.” He feels like crying again the moment he says those words.

“You can still love them,” the man says. “Just because their dea-gone...doesn’t mean you still can’t love them.”

Angus looks up at him. “Do you still love your parents?”

“Ah, well, not really?” The man rubs the back of his neck nervously, “I don’t really remember a lot about them. I was just a baby when me and my twin were taken away from them.”

“That’s horrible!” Angus cries.

“No, no, it was actually the right thing. They weren’t, uh, very good parents from what I’ve heard. They’re a bad example, anyway. But I do still love Lup, my twin, even though we haven’t seen each other in a really long time. And I still love my friend, Julia...even if she isn’t with us anymore…”

“But, how can you still love them if they aren’t here, sir?”

The man looks directly into his eyes and offers him a small smile. “Doesn’t matter where your love ones go without you. As long as you remember them, they never really leave you. Still...it’s hard not being with them.”

“Yeah,” Angus sighs, turning his attention back to the caskets. “I miss them.” And that is all Angus knows to be true. He may have no idea what is going to happen to him next or which family he is going to be added to, but he does know that he will never stop longing to be with his parents again. He swallows back the sob rising in his throat,. “I m-miss them so much.”

The inevitability of another breakdown looms over him like a dark rain cloud, but the tissue the man is holding out to him is not. “Here.” Angus takes it without saying a word and holds the disposable handkerchief in his hands. “What’s your name, kiddo?”

Through a wad of of built-up saliva in his mouth, Angus mumbles his name.

“Agnus?”

“N-no.” He swallows. “Angus. Angus McDonald.”

“Nice to meet ya, Angus, but it probably would’ve been better to have met somewhere else. My name’s Taako.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Mr. Taako.”

Taako gasps. “How did you know my last name?”

“W-What?”

“Yeah, my last name is Taaco.”

“Your last name is the same as your first?”

“No,” Taako shakes his head. “My first name is T-A-A-K-O. The last one is T-A-A-C-O. There’s a difference. Subtle but it’s there.”

Despite everything, Angus lets out a quiet giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Taako eyes him quizzically. Angus keeps laughing. “C’mon, it’s a family name! Are you insulting me?”

“S-Sorry, sir,” Angus apologizes, suddenly going still. “I didn’t mean to be rude.”

But Taako just laughs back at him. “Nah, it’s a silly name. But it’s mine. You can laugh as much as you want to.”

Angus releases the rest of the laughter he had repressed back down. To any onlooker passing by the scene, they would think that a child smiling and chuckling without control at their parent’s funeral is morbid and disturbing. But to Angus, this single moment of compassion from this man he just met fills his lungs up with another air to breathe and the comfort of knowing that after everything he’s gone through, there are still good times ahead for him.

The funeral continues on. Taako strikes up several small conversations with Angus; most of them are attempts to help cheer the kid up but never to make it seem like this whole situation is no big deal. Each word he says is honest and supportive, not demanding or insensitive. Angus finds himself ever so slightly opening up about his life before the accident in Neverwinter, and about the accident itself. Whenever he becomes emotional, Taako always offers him another tissue and even allows Angus to hold onto him once the morticians start lowering his parent’s caskets into the ground.

Once the morticians start to cover the unearthed soil back over the coffins, the child service workers approach the two and inform Angus that it’s time to leave. To his surprise, Taako asks if he can take him out for a cone of soft serve down the road. The workers agree, but only on the condition that they have to tag along with them (which is reasonable. They are not just going to let a child go running off with a strange man).

Taako orders bowl of key lime sherbert. Angus gets a giant waffle cone bowl filled to the brim with chocolate ice cream and an avalanche of rainbow sprinkles. Originally, he plans on only getting a small cone, but Taako insists that he go all out, saying, “It’s my treat. Don’t hold back, alright? But do keep in mind I only have a twenty on me.”

Linda and the other service worker (who Angus learns later is named David) both order a small cone of vanilla and butterscotch ice cream respectively.

They sit at a picnic table and talk more as they enjoy their cold desserts. Through mouthfuls of ice cream, Angus tells Taako about Cosmo, the stray cat that hangs around his old neighborhood, and about his favorite book series ever, Caleb Cleveland. Taako tells him about his brother Magnus and all the kinds of trouble they used to get into as teens. He tells Angus about his dad, Merle, and how Merle adopted him when he was around twelve years old. Julia’s name only comes up once, but Angus is given enough information about her to know that Taako and his family love(d) her more than anything.

“Y’know,” Taako muses through a mouthful of sherbert,” I bet Magn’s w’d love to give ‘ur Caleb Cl’vland books a t’y. They’d b’ right up his alley.”

“He’d love them,” Angus says in agreement. “And your dad, too. They’re really good.”

Taako swallows down his sherbert. “Well, I’ll start pestering them until they do.”

Angus giggles. Then his smile falls. “I hope I get adopted by someone as nice as your dad.”

Taako blinks. “I...I’m sure you will, buddy.” His gaze drifts downward, a solemn look in his eyes. “You’re a good kid.” He looks up again and his moment of heartache is gone. There’s a hopeful expression on his face. “Hey, if you ever need to talk to somebody-” He reaches into one of the pockets on his jacket and pulls out a small business card- “Just call. My boss Hurley will probably pick up first, or maybe her girlfriend Sloane, but she’s nice. They’re both nice. Just ask for me and I’ll listen to anything you wanna say.”

Angus looks the card over. It’s a plain beige color with tiny flowers of various colors circling the shop's logo:  _ Petals to the Metal _ . The address is listed in Chicago, about a fifteen minute drive from his old town.

Something inside of Angus starts to swell, an emotion so powerful and raw that it shakes him to his core. He’s sobbing before he can even stop himself, the business card nearly crumbling underneath his grip.

“Angus? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Taako panics before Angus jumps out of his seat and throws his arms around him, burying his face into Taako’s chest. He quickly returns the embrace. “Angus?”

“ _ T-thank you _ so much, Mr. Taaco, s-s-sir.  _ Tha-ank yo-ou _ -” Angus tries to speak but he’s crying too much and his wails choke out any words that try to make it past his lips. As he continues to weep, Taako pats his back and patiently waits for him to compose himself.

Later that day, when Linda and David bring Angus back to the shelter that is currently acting as his temporary home, he asks to borrow a telephone and dials the number for  _ Petals to the Metal _ . Sure enough, it’s not Taako that picks up, but the lady on the other end of the phone immediately gives him Taako’s actual number to write down.

He calls Taako and Taako listens to him talk about whatever pops into his brain until the sun has gone down and Linda tells him it’s time for bed. The next day he does the same thing. And the next, and the next, and the next. Whenever the suffocating loneliness returns to him, he pulls out that business card and asks to make a call.

A month passses and Angus is placed in his first foster home. The couple that brings him in is older, but kind. The two already have children of their own, and they also treat him with the same amount or respect, but there’s a feeling of displacement that upsets him to no end. He calls Taako nearly three times a day, his voice thick with fear, and talks until his throat hurts. He had been told that his first move would be the hardest, but this is too much for him to bear.

Another month passes by, and then another, and slowly Angus comes to accept where he is but never fully becomes accustomed to it. There’s something missing no matter where he goes that he can never put back into place and it torments him every waking hour of the day.

He’s lonely even when he interacts with people. He’s in agony regardless of the roof over his head and the food placed in front of him. He’s depressed beyond belief in spite of how happy he can appear at times.

He’s in so much pain and the grief that he feels has no end in sight.

That is, until he’s informed that someone has sent in a request to become his adoptive father and Angus knows who it is before the paperwork is filled out and David is taking him to a new apartment in Chicago.

Standing on the steps to the building complex waiting for their arrival is Taako, face beaming, and arms outstretched for Angus to come charging into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was over 4,000 words of pure Ango angst offa doofa


	14. Something Gained, Something Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ♪ Everybody's worried 2 heck ♪

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok this is completely off topic and has nothing to do with the fic but I just finished season one of Downton Abbey and it's really good????? Like I think about the show ALL THE TIME (or at least, when I'm not thinking about TAZ of course)
> 
> Small warning for a little more talk about Taako's broken nose.
> 
> And, as always, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!
> 
> Edit: Okay, so MLA told me about this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-PwGlxbuTU . It's called "This Year" by The Mountain Goats and it reminds me so much about Lucretia and Magnus (not the ship, just the two of them separately. Their struggles during the Stolen Century and Ravens Roost, etc.) It's really good and I recommend you all give it a listen.

_Now_

 

Angus isn’t in the funeral home. Nor is he in the front courtyard leading into the house or the main parking lot. It’s as if the kid just vanished.

Most of the Aeron family volunteers to help look for Angus, venturing off in all directions to find the kid before the sun goes down. Angus’ name is shouted out into the open to no response. Merle in particular cries out for his grandson incessantly until he nearly loses his voice and starts coughing uncontrollably.

“He’s not going to answer you,” Hekuba tells him as he tries to catch his breath. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep yelling like that.”

Merle grips his chest, leaning over against a tree in the courtyard as his lungs struggle to take in air. “I...can’t...Gotta...find him…”

“He couldn’t have gone far. You said so yourself,” she reminds him.

“Christ, Heka, just _look_.” Merle esters far into the horizon, When Hekuba turns to look, she can see the blue sky shifting into a gentle hue or orange and pink. “If he don’t find him soon…”

Hekuba turns back to look at him. “You’re going to give yourself a heart attack if you don’t stop for a few minutes and rest-”

“THERE’S NO TIME-!” Merle winces, having strained his voice far past its limits. The volume of his voice doesn’t faze Hekuba, but his tone does. He’s frustrated. They all are. But he promised Taako he would find him, and now that their window of opportunity is running out, that frustration has turned into panic.

Hekuba understands, really she does, but as always, with being around Merle, there is something that bothers her about his reaction. “You’re really worried about him, aren’t you?”

Merle looks at her like she just materialized out of thin air. “Well, _duh_. What kind of question is that? He’s my grandson. Of course I’m worried about him!”

“Would you be this worried if it were Mavis that were missing? Or Mooky?”

The question comes up without any warning and without premeditation, but catches them both off guard. “Heka-Hekuba, what kind of _question_ is that?”

All of a sudden, Hekuba can feel her knees trembling. Something itchy lodges itself in her throat. “W-Would you, though? Would you be worried if...i-if it was one of them?”

The furrow between Merle’s eyebrows relaxes, his eyes going wide. “Hekuba, you know- _you know_ I care about Mavis and Mooky. They’re my kids. _Our_ kids. I’d do _anything_ for them. You...you know that, right?”

Hekuba frowns, her composure fading and fading fast. An answer comes out of her before her mind can finish drawing conclusions on how she truly feels. “Do I?”

Whatever Merle plans on saying next is said in a parallel universe, where the two of them have maintained a healthy relationship and understanding between each other. “Oh…Heka-” Merle reaches a hand out and she turns away. “Hekuba, I...I had no idea that...I-geez, I’m sorry.”

“‘M course you didn’t,” Hekuba mutters. “You’re never around...maybe we’re both to blame for that.”

Merle sighs. “We need to talk about this. We...we can’t keep doing this to the kids. To ourselves. None of this has been fair to you. I’m sorry.”

The two of them may have never fully gotten along since they were first married, but Hekuba has always been able to read Merle like an open book. She knows when he’s bullshittng her and when he’s being sincere. Taking a deep breath, she turns back to face him.

“Okay. It’s time we did talk about...all this.” She smiles. “But later. We need to find Angus first.”

Merle looks at her like she has lassoed the sun down to earth. “Thank you. Thank you so much, Heka. I’m so sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. We better get moving…..ANGUS?! ANGUS, WHERE ARE YOU?!”

 

~~~~~

 

Kravitz tries his best to drive back to the funeral home without going too far over the speed limit. Driving fifty five miles per hour when he should really be going around forty would normally cause him a panic attack, but Taako looks like he’s going to implode as they cruise on down the road.

The moon is high in the sky, thousands of stars surrounding it by the time Taako is released from the clinic. His nose is now pointing straight instead of to the left, with a splint positioned across the bridge to make sure it stays right where it is. Both of his eyes are bloodshot from the blunt force trauma to his face, his skin around the area a nauseating black and blue. Taako could care less about his injury. Instead his energy is conserved, turning to panic as he taps his index finger across the dashboard, his other hand on his door handle.

“We’re almost there,” kravitz tells him.

“How close?”

“About five minutes.”

“Can this car go any faster?!”

“It can go a lot faster, but getting pulled over the police is going to stop us entirely. Just try to stay calm.”

Taako groans, mumbles a thousand curses under his breath. “C’mon, c’mon, _c’mon_.”

Kravitz purses his lips. The tension bouncing around inside his buick is unbearable. A strange sense of empathy inside of Kravitz is demanding that he find some way to defuse the situation.

“I’m sure your son is alright. From what Noelle texted me, he has a full extended family out there looking for him.”

“But they haven’t found him yet, right?” Taako asks.

“N...no. Not yet, no.”

Taako groans again. This time he sounds more like a wounded animal, trapped in a cage in the middle of a forest waiting to be slaughtered. “Fuck, my dude. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. It’s all my fault. It’s all my fucking fault.”

It’s nearly all Taako has been saying for the past few hours and every time he says it, kravitz makes sure to respond with, “This is not your fault. You had no idea what was going to happen.”

“Yeah, but...I should have told him. I s-should have told him everything from the beginning. Then maybe he wouldn’t have run a-away and n-n-none of this would have h- _happened_ -”

“Taako!” Kravitz grabs Taako’s shoulder as his breathing turns into short, rapid bursts. “I know you're worried but you need to try to restrain your concern so you don’t hurt yourself. Just please, take a deep breathe, and try your best to calm down.”

“I CAN’T CALM DOWN!” Taako yells, his hand smacking Kravitz’ away. “A-Angus is out there all by himself in the middle of the _fucking night_ and you’re telling me to CALM DOWN?!”

Kravitz prepares a response, but chooses to stays silent. He turns his attention back to the road and ignores the way the red mark on the back side of his palm. It must be a full minute before Taako sighs and murmurs, “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to atone for anything. I understand.”

“I did hit you pretty hard, though.”

Kravitz holds up his hand. “Nothing’s broken. Just don’t do a hit. It’s kinda rude to attack your chauffeur.”

Taako lets out a short chuckle. “I gotta owe you, what, a dozen favors now, right? Driving me to the clinic, waiting like five fucking hours for my nose to get reset, and then driving me back?  What are you gonna have me do? Bury a bunch of dead dudes for you?”

Kravitz laughs. “No, you don’t need to do anything like that. It’s the least I can do for you. I dreadfully sorry your family’s day of mourning was disrupted.”

“It has been the most eventful day at a cemetery I’ve ever had, I’ll give you that,” Taako admits wistfully. “Even my sister-in-law’s funeral didn’t even come close to this.”

Kravitz rounds another corner, leaving only a couple of miles left until they reach their destination. “I...I have to ask-and you don’t have to answer. This may come off as a bit insincere, but...your family always requests a ten hour slot to visit the grounds. Why is it always that long?”

When Taako doesn’t answer right away, kravitz panics. “I-I’m sorry. That was hurtful. I didn’t mean to-”

“Nah, homey, it’s okay. My brother, Magnus...he lost his wife to a genetic illness half a decade ago. He’s never really recovered from the loss yet and, well...he’s fallen into a bit of a depression. Whenever we come over to visit Julia-uh, that was her name...he always just sits in front of her grave for a really long time and doesn’t say anything. We never know how long he needs or when he’ll be done, so my old man always asks for the longest time slot you got.”

Kravitz scowls. “Is that healthy?”

“No...it’s not. We’re just scared for him. He won’t to go to therapy. He hates it when we try to help him out financially and all that jazz. None of us want him to push us away, so...we try to do what little he lets us do.”

They make one last turn and finally, the funeral home comes into view. Kravitz pushes off the gas just a little bit more and releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. “Wow, I...wasn’t expecting such an honest answer.”

Taako stares at him in oddly. “I wasn’t expecting to give you one. Guess I’m high on adrenaline or some shit.”

“Well,” Kravitz places his hand on the gear shift, “It’s been one hell of a day for all of us. I appreciate how open you were.”

“Y’know what? I think it’s about time I try being a more open person in general.”

 

~~~~~

 

The moment Kravitz hits the breaks, Taako jumps out of the car, the momentum throwing him forward but he manages to keep his footing. Now that he’s back on the grounds, the apprehension in his body is electrifying, giving a tremendous burst of vigor. He runs faster than he’s ever run before to the entrance to the cemetery as Kravitz follows not too far behind.

Merle and Hekuba are caught up in a hushed conversation when Taako reaches them, Mavis and Mooky a few feet away from them. The kids both looked exhausted, Mooky leaning into his sister and Mavis trying to stifle a yawn. All four of them jump as Taako burst onto the scene.

“Angus?”

Hekuba shoots Merle a hesitant glance, who shakes his head solemnly. “I’m sorry, buddy. No one’s found him yet.”

Taako’s heart seizes up in an instant. “O-Okay….t-t-then we keep looking. He’s gotta be around here somewhere.”

“Taako-” Merle’s voice breaks and he quickly looks away. His easygoing, confidence is gone, replaced with a sad little man that Taako doesn’t recognize.

“Taako, we’ve searched the entire property. No one in the Aeron family found him, either. He’s just...gone.”

Gone.

“No.”

It’s the only word he knows.

“No, no, no, no, no no no nononono _no._ No, Angus isn’t...he’s not...he’s here. He’s here, I know...I _know it_. We just gotta...just gotta keep searching.”

“Taako-” Kravitz tries to approach him.

“HE’S HERE, ALRIGHT!?” He’s livid. A flaming ball of misery and terror that is flickering under the doubt surrounding him. Taako intends to burn forever, until Angus is back safe and sound with him. But all flames eventually burn out and his grievance changes into anguish. “I...he can’t be gone. He can’t-”

He can’t say another word without completely choking up, so he shuts his mouth. Defeated. Taako is absolutely defeated. There is nothing more frightening to him than losing Angus. Getting expelled from culinary school doesn’t even come close. There is a thousand miles between the two and somehow Taako has traveled to both ends.

 _None of this is real_ , he tries to convince himself. How can it be?

But he knows better than that.

Regret and shame overtake him. It took him five years for him to be brave enough to tell Angus about why he doesn’t cook. Six years for him to even think about telling anyone other than Magnus and Merle. Too long. It took way too damn long to find the courage to speak.

And now it’s too late.

“The next thing we do now is call the police,” Hekuba informs them. “They already knew we were searching. They were here earlier helping out. It’s possible we can get a report in-”

“No, we have to wait twenty-four hours,” Taako mutters, his words venomous even to himself. “He’s not “ _missing_ ” until then. And by then...by then, _then…_ ”

What will happen then? Angus has only been to Lynchburg, Virginia a handful of times, He may be a smart kid, but Taako he doesn’t know his way around on his own or would know anyone else besides Magnus who lives there.

“I’d like to go searching myself.”

Taako whirls around and stares Kravitz directly in the eyes. “What?”

“I-It may be late, but I know this place like the back of my own hand,” he continues. “There’s a storage closet in the building with a dozen flashlights. I’m willing to go around and give the area one last look or two. You all are welcomed to join me.”

Maybe it’s the way Kravitz says it, or how he volunteers without any need to, that opens up something inside of Taako that has been dormant for a long time. He may not know exactly that something is yet, but it’s there and suddenly he is filled with hope.

“You really mean that?” Hekuba asks.

“I’m dead serious,” Kravitz swears.

“Well, let’s get going, I guess,” Merle says. “What’s the plan? Do we get the flashlights and split up or-?”

“No,” Taako cuts him off. “Dad, go get Magnus. Bail him out and take him back home.”

“What?!” Merle gasps. “Taako, Magnus is-”

“Suffering inside a cell on the day his wife died,” Taako finished. “He’s been in there long enough. Besides, I want to talk to him once we get back. Go get him. We’ll be fine.”

“Alright, then Merle, you can take the van if you want to,” Hekuba offers. “Just hand me the truck keys so we have a way home-”

“Hekuba, go with him.”

“Huh?”

“Mavis and Mooky are tired. It’s been a long day.” Taako points behind them all to the two children. Mooky is lying passed out on the grass. Mavis is sitting right beside him, moments away from falling asleep with him. “I’ll call you guys if we need help.”

“Are you sure?” She asks him. If Taako were less distressed, he would have been taken back by how timid she sounds.

“I’m sure. Kravitz and I...we’re gonna find him. We’re going to find Angus.”

“That’s right,” Kravitz takes a step closer to him. “I’ll search as long as you need me to.”

Taako smiles, somewhat sadly, but it’s a smile nonetheless. “Remind me to tease you about how selfless you are later, okay?”

Kravitz laughs. “Guess I had it coming, huh? Now, let’s get going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Downton Abbey spoilers please I'm begging you


	15. Lights in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where in the World is Carman Sandiego? but instead it's Where in the World is Angus McDonald?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say every single comment we have received on this fic has made my day and filled my heart with joy. Right now, we're both going through a #roughtime and your kind words mean so much to us. Also, everyone who commented about Downton Abbey? I was smiling so hard you all are great :)
> 
> Thank you all for the support!

_ Now _

 

“What time is it?” Taako asks.

Kravitz reaches calmly into his pocket and pulls out his phone. “12:51.”

“ _ Shit _ .” Another hour has gone by and they still haven’t found Angus. Now the night has reached the point where their flashlights can barely cut through the darkness.

“We’ll keep looking,” Kravitz assures him. “Time doesn’t mean anything right now.” He shuts his phone off and tucks it back into his pocket.

“You’re right...you’re right,” Taako nods, but it’s more of a weak attempt to convince himself that they do have infinite time. In reality, it’s the opposite. The longer they take, the less likely it becomes that they will ever find Angus. A million different thoughts swarm around in Taako’s head, all wondering where in the world Angus can be. Most of them aren’t pleasant. There is a voice inside of him telling him to give it up. He’ll never find Angus. Angus doesn’t want to be found. Not after what he’s done.

Another voice says,  _ Shut the fuck up _ .

However, after making a second trek of the cemetery, Taako starts to lose hope. No matter where they look, Angus just isn’t there. He’s not on the property at all. If he was, they would have found him by now.

It’s when they pass by Julia’s grave again that Taako stops in his tracks, defeated, broken, and scared out of his mind. They haven’t found him. They can’t find him. Angus is just gone, just like Merle said. 

Kravitz fails to notice how he falls behind for a moment. “Taako?” He turns around and walks over to him. “Taako, what’s wrong?”

“He’s not here….kravitz, Angus isn’t here. We would have found him already if he was...”

Even to Taako, his words are too strained to be heard properly. Kravitz gets the message anyway. “Okay...okay. It’s late but I’ll call the police if you want me to. Then I should think about giving you a ride home...is that okay with you?”

Taako takes a deep breath, his swollen eyes welling up with tears. “Sure...yeah, go for it.”

Kravitz sighs, the pity on his face making Taako want to scream. Once again, he pulls his phone out. Each time his thumb presses against the screen, a piece of Taako withers away and dies. This is it. They’re really throwing in the towel. He’s giving up. He’s letting Angus down. All he’s ever done is let the kid down-

Someone sneezes.

It’s faint, coming from a great distance away. Kravitz looks up from his phone, locking eyes with Taako, who is too stunned to speak.

“Could that be-?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

They both go quiet, listening for any indication of where the noise came from. Taako holds his breath, black spots dancing around in his eyes as the seconds go by.

Then there it is again. Another sneeze.

“There.” Kravitz points off into the distance, directly at the forest wall bordering the west side of the estate. Taako bolts. Without even questioning Kravitz’ hearing, he runs as fast as he can, his heart pounding against his rib cage. He dodges past tombstones, only tripping over himself once before catching up to speed.

When he reaches the forest, Taako comes to a dead stop. The beam of his flashlight searches just as desperately as he does, scanning every square inch of the forest it can before he enters.

“Angus? A-Angus, are you there?”

There is no response. As much as it hurts, he presses on, taking his first step into the maze of trees and foliage. He can hear Kravitz following closely behind him.

“Angus, please...please answer me. I’m sorry.”

There is still no answer besides the leaves crunching underneath their feet.

“Taako?” Kravitz motions for him to look over at where he is standing. He points his flashlight towards an opening in the trees.  “I’m going to go search over here, alright?”

“Y-Yeah...I’m gonna keep going this way, t-then.” Kravitz nods before walking away, leaving Taako on his own. The hand holding his flashlight is shaking. His lungs keep pushing out every breath of air it takes before he can fully inhale it .

_ We’re close. We  _ must _ be close. Kravitz is only a few feet away from me. There is no need to panic. Angus will be okay. Angus is okay. _

With each thought, Taako takes in a bit more air. Head cleared, he continues walking, searching behind every tree and pile of leaves, leaving nothing ignored. He travels deeper into the forest, far enough away that he can’t see the way they came in from. If he has to uproot every single plant surrounding him just to find his son, he will do it.

He listens carefully for another sneeze or cough or  _ anything _ . It wasn’t his mind playing tricks on him the first time; Kravitz heard it too. That is all the proof he needs to know he’s not delusional. He may be panic-stricken but he still has enough sense left to know when he’s playing himself.

Shortly after Taako finds himself starting to yawn, he starts calling out for Angus again.

“Angus?! C’mon, Angus, i-it’s getting late. It doesn’t matter what you think of me right now...let’s just get you to Uncle Magnus’ house, okay?”

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Angus. But I’m okay. Uncle Magnus is, too. Those things that man said about me ..I-I’ll tell you what they meant. I’m sorry you had to hear all that…”

“You don’t have to forgive me. Just please...let me know your okay, pumpkin. I-I-I’m really worried about you. We all are. Just please, say  _ something _ .”

“Angus?  _ Please _ , Angus I need you to answer me. Angus? ANGUS?!”

The silence speaks for himself. Several minutes of pleading has left Taako withered. Angus refuses to come out and it’s as simple as that. The bridge of trust between them has burnt beyond repair. His whole world has gone cold and lifeless.

There is no one to blame but himself. If Angus had only had some kind of context before hand, maybe he would be safe back with their family and not lost in the middle of the woods or  _ worse _ -

Then there is another sneeze.

Taako gasps, his heart going out. He points his flashlight to where the sneeze came from. Illuminated by the battery-generated light is Angus, sitting against the back of a tree curled in on himself, shivering.

The is no way to describe the amount of alleviation Taako feels in that exact moment.

“ _ ANGUS! _ ” Taako is at his son’s side less than a second later. He drops the flashlight and cups Angus’ face in his hands. “Angus!? Angus, are you okay?!”

Angus’ eyebrows scrunch together. He sluggishly he opens his eyes as he wakes up and comes back to his senses. “Dad?”

Taako’s dam breaks, his relief flooding out through the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Oh my God, Angus. _ Angus _ . Angus, don’t  _ ever, EVER _ do that again. You scared me to _ death! _ We were all worried out of our gourds!”

“I’m sorry-” Angus is cut off by another sneeze, but forgets whatever he was previously going to say. “Dad,  _ what-? _ Is your nose broken?! D-Did that man do that to you?!”

“Don’t worry about me; I’m fine,” Taako assures him. “Angus, do you realize how late it is?! “It’s late!  _ Waaaay _ too late! Why didn’t you come back out when it started getting dark?! It’s not safe coming all the way out here by yourself!”

“Is that Angus?”

Angus jumps. Taako looks behind his shoulder and sees Kravitz running up behind them.

“It’s him. He’s okay.”

Kravitz lets out a deep breath. “You have impeccable timing there, Angus. A lot of people have been searching for you today and we were just about to call the search off.”

Angus looks away from them. “I didn’t mean to worry anyone. I just...I just  _ didn’t _ -” His eyes gloss over. “Dad, who was that?!  W-What did he mean about you being a liar?! And you had a  _ restraining order against him-?! _ ”

“Sssshhh.” Taako brushes a stray tear out of Angus’ eye before it falls. “Calm down, calm down-”

“Dad, what’s been going on with you?! Why didn’t you ever  _ tell me?!  _ I was...I was so scared. He hit you and I...I just  _ ran _ ...”

Angus starts trembling violently, his words becoming nothing more than strangled sobs. Taako acts fast, pulling Angus towards and holding him close. A part of him is afraid that if he lets go, Angus will disappear forever.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, _ I’m sorry _ . It’s over now. It’s over. That man will never hurt me again. And you’re not in trouble for running. Just.... _ don’t _ do it again. But Angus, we’re going to talk about what happened, okay? I...I have to tell you about why things got so bad back there. I’ll explain everything. Anything you want to know, I’ll tell you, okay? I’m so,  _ so sorry _ about letting things get so out of hand. It’s been hard for me to talk about what he said because...well, frankly I was ashamed.  _ Mortified _ . But now the only thing I’m ashamed of is scaring you.”

Angus nods into his chest, too overwhelmed to respond. 

“You know I love you, right Angus? Because I do. I don’t say it enough but I love you. I’d be nothing without you, okay? You deserved to know about Sazed from the very beginning. I’m so sorry. I’m  _ so _ -”

Taako’s voice cracks. His ability to wrangle in his emotions is gone. He’s crying even harder now, overrun with regret.  _ How could I do this? How could I do this to Angus? How did I let this happened? How? How? How-? _

A small hand tries to wipe away the tears streaming down Taako’s face. When he looks down, Angus is staring back at him. “Does your nose hurt?”

Taako bites his lip and shakes his head. Nothing hurts more than what he’s experienced tonight.

Angus leans back into his chest, his words nearly lost to Taako’s ears. “I love you too, dad.”

October fourteenth is the worst day of the year for Taako’s family, but this October fourteenth in particular takes the cake.

However, those five words comfort Taako with the knowledge that everything will be okay.

 

~~~~~

 

Just as the GPS says, the Burnsides residence is about a thirty minute drive from the cemetery, which means nothing to Kravitz. He is just grateful to be driving two passengers home instead of one, and thankful he didn’t have to talk to any law enforcement for a second time that day.

Angus is passed out in the backseat, his head in Taako’s lap, who is rubbing a hand on his shoulder as he sleeps. The father looks incredibly relieved, as if a large weight had just been lifted off of his shoulders. There’s a gentle grin stretched across his face that even in the dark is bright enough blind someone.

Once this is over and he turns around and heads home, Kravitz knows he should go straight to bed. It’s been a long, long day and his body has been running on a single cup of crappy coffee all day. But his mind is buzzing like a bee hive, a clear indication that he won’t be getting any sleep tonight. Maybe he’ll heat up some leftovers and watch a few episodes of  _ The Great British Baking Show _ to calm himself down.

“Hey Kravitz?” Kravitz looks back at Taako through the rearview mirror. His smile spreads even wider. “Thanks.”

For some reason, Kravitz is suddenly flustered. It must be the fatigue. “Uh...don’t mention it. I’m just thankful your son is okay. And I still have a job! That...that is also a major relief…”

Taako laughs. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“Probably run around the cemetery in the dark.”

“Well, that’s basically what we did anyway.” They both laugh. “But I’m glad you were there. I...I was losing it there and it really helped having someone else there with me, ya know?”

“I know what you mean.” From the corner of his eye, he sees the GPS recalculate, changing their time estimate from half an hour to eighteen minutes. “Y-Your family seems nice.”

“Yeah, they’re something.” Taako sighs. “God, we got a lot of baggage waiting for us when we get back.”

Kravitz grimaces. “I’m sorry about that.”

“No, it’s time we sort everything out, just like I said.  There are some issues that are tearing us apart. Maybe we’ll end up yelling at each other for a bit...but we’ll come back together again in the long run.”

“You all care about each other,” Kravitz concludes. “That kind of love is special.”

“Yep...it sure is.”

The minutes roll by with the miles. Kravitz and Taako take turns starting conversations, but they are both too exhausted to keep them up for too long. By the time Kravitz is pulling up to their house, it is past two in the morning.

Taako climbs out of the backseat first before unbuckling Angus and picking him up in his arms. “Thanks for the ride-oh.” He is taken back when Kravitz steps out of the car, too, even though there is no real reason to. “Do you, uh, need something?”

“What? Oh, uh…” There are alarms blaring in Kravitz’ brain as he scrambles to find his train of thought. “If you, uh, need my help again just, um...here.” He reaches into the inner pocket of his suit jacket and pulls out a business card for the  _ Lynchburg Funeral Home _ .

Taako takes the business card. Kravitz can’t read the expression on his face. “T-Thanks…I guess I’ll ask for you when I call?”

“Huh? Oh right.” Kravitz reaches back into his suit jacket for a pen. “Here, may I?” Taako hands the card back to him as if it might explode. Kravitz takes it and neatly prints his actual number on the back of it before handing it back. “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Taako just stares at him, his eyes wider than the moon above them.

_ Shit, I did something wrong? _ Kravitz panics.

Then Taako smiles. “Thank you, Kravitz. But I should warn you, your phone bill might go up a few bucks. I’m  _ quite _ the talker.”

Kravitz chuckles and tries to casually wipe a bead of sweat off of his forehead. “I’m looking forward to it anyway.” He holds his hand out. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

Taako takes his hand and gives it a firm shake. “Same here. See you later, Grim.”

“ _ Ohhh _ , I see. We’re back to the nicknames, are we?”

“You bet. And I’m gonna have a shitload ready to dump on you when we talk next.”

“What did I ever do to deserve this kind of cruelty?”

They part ways. Taako waves at him as he backs his car back into the road and takes off. This day has certainly been memorable, in more ways than one. He almost lost his job (twice), witnessed a fight, was interviewed by a police officer, and helped find a missing child. All in all, Kravitz has to admit it’s a nice change of pace to the normal, mundane life he lives. He could do without most of the drama, though.

And Taako’s promise to call him in the near future has put butterflies in his stomach.

Or he’s really tired. Yeah, he’s just tired. Those butterflies definitely don’t mean anything, just like the heat in his cheeks.

What kravitz doesn’t notice as he’s pulling out of the cul de sac the Burnsides family calls home is that Taako watches him drive away until his buick can’t be seen anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye Kravitz
> 
> Just a heads up, starting this Tuesday, updates may start happening later in the day because school is starting back up again. Hooray :)))))))))))))))


	16. A Conversation Six Years in the Making

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some Magnus (and Lup) angst. Two sad stories for the price on one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was gonna go up tomorrow but I am going to have ZERO free time tomorrow so here ya go!
> 
> Warnings for mention of alcohol and some heavy Taaco twin sadness.

_Now _

Even if Taako has already decided that he is ready to deal with all of his emotional trauma, seeing Magnus waiting for him the second he steps inside the house is a bit of a shock.

Magnus is sitting on the couch, his shoulders hunched over as if to curl himself into a ball. When Taako entered, his head snaps up fast enough to give him whiplash, his eyes wide with worry. Or at least, one of them is. His left eye is nearly swollen shut, his skin a dark black and blue. And God, it stings to know that Magnus got hurt because of him, but Taako can’t apologize for it just yet.

“Taako-”

“Angus is fine,” he snaps, catching Magnus off guard. Catching _himself_ off guard. “Stay here. I’m gonna put him to bed.”

He doesn’t give Magnus a chance to say anything before he walks out of the room, rather briskly, and down the to the guest room. Angus is tucked into bed without a fuss, never waking up for even a second. Taako gives him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning off the lights. When he shuts the door behind him, his knees turn to jello. He leans back against the door to support himself as his stomach churns.

He thanks any god that’s listening that Angus isn’t sleeping in that forest tonight.

Magnus is still waiting for him in the living room but Taako decides to go knock on the door to the other guest room. If Merle is still up, he wants to make sure his dad knows they both made it home safely.

Before he goes to knock, Taako notices the light coming through the bottom of the door and the two voices that are deep in conversation on the other side. Neither Merle or Hekuba are screaming their heads off at each other, so Taako chooses to let them be. He already sent them a text after they found Angus. He’ll see them in the morning.

Back in the living room, Magus is hunched back over, but now fully alert. Taako looks away from him as he takes his seat on the other end of the couch. This is a conversation six years in the making. Years of Taako not wanting to talk and Magnus refusing to listen have led to a broken nose, a black eye, a traumatized child, and two cases of severe anxiety and depression that need to be dealt with. Magnus will listen to him even if the apocalypse happens as they talk .

“Magnus, this has to stop.”

Magnus is a deer caught in headlights. “What?”

“ _This_.” Taako points a finger at him, then himself, and then the entire room. “Everything. Your unhealthy coping mechanisms with Julia. Me keeping Ango in the dark about culinary school and dating and whatever. It has to stop, Magnus, and it has to stop now.”

“Wha-?” Magnus scowls. “You still think I can’t take care of myself?”

Taako glares right back at him. “You can when you want to.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”

“Oh, don’t play that card. You know _exactly_ what I mean!” Taako growls. “Keeping all your carvings in the basement? Not calling me or Merle when you’re low on dough? That one time you got yourself drunk as hell and blacked out in Carey’s apartment?”

“That was a long time ago,” Magnus points out.

“It was _last year!_ ”

“I had a little too much fun, that’s all!”

“Was it fun when dad had to drive out to the hospital in the middle of the night?!” Magnus looks away from him. “I was _literally_ IN THE CAR WITH ANGUS, seconds away from stepping on the gas and gunning it _all the way out here_ when I heard you weren’t responsive.”

“Look, I already said I was sorry about that. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since! You can ask Carey yourself! The last time I went over, I had, like, five cans of Dr. Pepper-!”

“ _GOD, JUST SHUT UP LISTEN TO ME ALREADY!_ ”

The entire house goes silent. The voices from Merle and Hekuba’s room stop talking. Even the creaky ceiling fan above then has stopped squeaking.

Taako waits anxiously, afraid he will hear Angus or his younger sibling’s stir and wake up. A minute passes and nobody comes outside their room. Merle and Hekuba slide right back into their debate.

“Listen,” Taako starts, his tone softer than before. “We can’t keep repressing all of our negative thoughts and emotions and then have them suddenly blow up in our face. It’s not only hurting ourselves; it’s hurting dad. And _Angus_ . And Mavis and Mooky and Hekuba. _All of us_. He didn’t say anything, Magnus, but I know Angus didn’t want to be found tonight. There was a dozen people outside shouting his name and he didn’t respond to any of them…”

The scowl on Magnus’ face vanishes.

“He saw what happened between me and Sazed. He heard everything that guy said and he has no idea what any of it meant because _I never told him_. Wanna take a guess about what he may be thinking of me now? What fantasies he’s come up with?”

No response.

“Look Mags...I’m not a grief counselor, but I think you should see one.”

Magnus opens his mouth. “T-”

“AH! I’m not done!” Magnus shuts his mouth. “I’m not forcing you to do anything right now. Hell, you don’t even have to like it if you do. Just please, give it a try. I know...I know you’ve been hurting ever since Julia died. You miss her. We all do.” Taako smiles. “Do you remember when you two first started dating and you brought her home to meet us for the first time?”

Magnus looks down at his lap. “You two were wearing the same exact top. The one that says _“Dogs Should Vote”_.”

“It was radical, my dude. That’s when I knew you found The One.”

Magnus smiles fondly. “She tried to wear it under her wedding dress but it kept getting bunched up around the shoulders.”

Taako gasps. “I didn’t know that!”

“She was really upset when it didn’t work out.”

“I would’ve been, too.”

“You two were always so much alike…”

There are many more memories the two of them could reminisce on, but now isn’t the time for that. Taako reaches over and grabs one of Magnus’ hands. “Magnus...Julia was a one-in-a-million gal. She...well, I considered her to be one of my closest friends. I don’t know how she’d feel about that statement.”

“Shut up. She loved you,” Magnus scolds half-heartedly.

“And she loved you, too Mags. She still does, wherever she is.” Taako squeezes his hand. “Magnus, Julia wouldn’t want to see you like this. You know that. She wouldn’t want you to suffer like this. She’d want you to move on.”

Magnus shakes his head. “I...I can’t.”

“ _Yes_ you can-”

“No, Taako, I can’t!” Tears of frustration brim his eyes. “I-If I pretend none of this ever happened and go on with my life, then I’ll forget her-!”

“Whoa, Magnus, no one said anything about-!”

“I can’t live without her-!”

“Magnus!” Taako grabs his shoulders. “ _Breathe_. Just breathe, buddy….moving on doesn’t mean forgetting Julia. It means making peace with what you’ve lost and learning how to carry on without them. No one is trying to take away her memory from you. And I’m definitely not telling you to pretend that she never died in the first place. That’s what we’ve been doing all this time; pretending. Acting like nothing is wrong until everything is.”

Magnus runs a hand over his face. “But what if I do forget her, Taako? What if...what if I stop feeling like this, sad and miserable, and...and I can’t remember what life with her was like? At least if I feel this way I know she was here...”

Somewhere, in the corner of Taako’s mind, a similar conversation surfaces in his brain. The same words once came out of his twin’s mouth, several years ago, long before Julia ever passed away and Angus was born. He’s taken back to his last foster home, nearly two decades ago, sitting at a table with his sister in the chair beside him.

“Magnus.” Taako grips his shoulders tighter and forces his brother to look him dead in the eye. “I want to tell you about how I was separated from Lup.”

A look of astonishment and horror passes over Magnus’ face. “Taako, no, you don’t-”

“ _Stop_ . Listen to me. I’ve already made my peace with it. But if you interrupt me, I _am_ going to cry and I really don’t want to do that again tonight. Okay?”

Magnus nods timidly.

“Before Merle adopted me, there was another family that wanted to take me in. They were a kind enough bunch. Good people, good with kids. But there was a catch; they could only afford to take in either me or my twin sister, not both.

“They fought tooth and nail to bring us both in but the numbers just didn’t line up. The two of us just could've said no and waited for another family to come along and take us. But we were turning twelve soon, and we had spent nearly our entire lives getting bounced around from place to place. And we just hit puberty around that same time.

“I told you about Lup being trans. She made the decision when we were pretty young, when our bodies didn’t force us to look a certain way. Everyone could tell that the changes she was going through were hard on her. It sucked, I’ll just leave it at that.

“So the couple decided to adopt Lup, to help her with all the medical stuff she was going to need in the future. It was devastating sure, but I knew that my sister was in good hands. She deserved to have a body she could be proud of and I wanted nothing more than to give that to her. But Lup refused to let us be seperated. She punched one of the service workers who came to pick me up right in the fucking jaw.

“I had to calm her down. We ended up sitting down and talking about what would happen next. She was a wreck; there was snot was coming out of her nose. It was messy. She…she was scared that we would never see each other again. Neither of us had a phone and neither of us knew where I was going next. I remember her saying she didn’t...didn’t want to forget me...and I promised her that that would never happen. We’d see each other again, someday…”

Taako takes a labored breath, swallowing back a lump in his throat. “We only kept half of that promise. But Magnus, I still remember her. Some of the details are fuzzy and her face has changed in my mind a bit over the years. But I remember the good times, the moments that really mattered, and nothing could ever take those away from me.”

The atmosphere surrounding them has turned darker by his confession, but Taako has never breathed this easily before. “Moving on is scary, but you have us to support you, and the memories to get you by. The pain is never going to leave you, but you can learn how to live with it. All I’m asking you for, Magnus, is to give it a change, because the rest of us can’t bear to watch you hurt yourself anymore.”

There is nothing left for Taako to say. He has taken the reins of responsibility and spoken out. Now all he can do it wait and hope that everything he has said won’t fall on deaf ears. He feels so vulnerable, opening up about his past and putting his insecurities into words.

Sometimes, addressing how messed up you feel is the only way to make yourself, and those around you, feel better.

Magnus started crying long before Taako ever finished talking. Now he’s too entranced by his story to bother to wipe off the tears in his sideburns.

“Aww, c’mon, big guy, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Taako stands up and walks over to a lone tissue box sitting atop of the fireplace. He grabs a handful of tissues and carries them back to Magnus, who takes them hesitantly.

“Wow, Taako, I...I knew that you two were split up, but I never _knew_ …”

“Yeah, well, I never told you. It feels...better...to get that off my chest. Maybe when we get back to Chicago...I’ll try to find her.”

Magnus stares at him. “R-Really?”

“Yep,” Taako says with a shaky voice. “But there’s a lot of stuff I gotta get sorted out first. Then I can start looking.”

There’s a glint in Magnus’ eyes that makes Taako feel uneasy. His brother wipes off his face and sets his used tissues aside on the coffee table beside the couch. “I’m proud of you, Taako. Being able to talk about all your issues so... _openly_.”

“Now now, don’t give me that much credit. It did take several years and a broken nose to get me this far.”

“Still...I wish I could do that…” Magnus sighs deeply. “If...If I _do_ go to counseling...are you sure it’ll help me?’

Taako chooses his next words carefully. “You’re helping yourself just by deciding to give it a try. It will get easier, Mags. Just let it become easier.”

Magnus wrings his hands together, nodding. His face is pulled into a tight grimace, an obvious attempt to prevent himself from breaking down again.

Taako smiles.“Aright, c’mere, buddy.” He opens his arms up. “Bring it in.”

It takes a moment, but soon enough Magnus has his arms around Taako, returning the embrace. He pushes his face into Taako’s shoulder and lets out another sob. “It’s okay, Mags. It’s okay,” Taako soothes, patting his back. “You’re gonna be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I did find a way to insert Lup into the story. Even if I did have to rewrite half of this fic. I love her so much thought, it was worth it.
> 
> The story's not over yet folks! Can you believe there is more angst to dive into before this is over? Then we got that sequel I'm currently working on. Ooofa doofa, six years is just my life now I guess. I need to take a nap.


	17. A Bond Restored over Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how to describe this chapter other than it's really important to the plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super tired and I'm posting this wayyyyyy early in the day but I want to get it out there so enjoy!
> 
> AND THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT!!! YOU ALL ARE SO SWEET!!!

_ Now _

 

Angus had an eventful day to say the least.

Watching his father get cussed out and sucker-punched in the face had not been pleasant. Bolting into the woods and hiding there for a good seven-ish hours had also not been pleasant. With all the confusion and turmoil happening around him, coming out and rejoining his family seemed impossible. Everyone around him was screaming and yelling, throwing themselves in front of his uncle and the other man to keep them from killing each other.

It was like watching a pack of wild dogs tear into each other.

So Angus refused to come out, waiting alone in the forest until he finally felt safe enough to leave. Countless people were calling out for him but he was too afraid to answer the. By the time the action had died down, the sun had disappeared far beyond the horizon and the moon was high in the sky. No one was shouting for him anymore. It was so dark out Angus could barely even see his own hand in when he held it in front of his face.

Once when he was younger, his “Aunt” Sloane had taken him to a flea market in downtown Chicago. It was a crowded market place, filled with dozens of vendors and booths selling all kinds of trinkets and tchotchkes. There were plenty of shiny objects to tempt six-year-old Angus to wander off by himself. Today, he doesn’t even remember what he was trying to look at but when he turned back to Sloane, she wasn’t there. Panicked, he started running around the area, searching anywhere for her. Finally, he found her walking around the flea market with a policeman tagging along with her. Sloane hugged him so tight he couldn’t breathe and he cried when she started yelling at him. After apologizing, she told him that if he ever ended up getting lost again, he should stay exactly where he is unless it’s not safe for her to come find him.

So Angus stayed right where he was, curled up against a tall oak tree to wait for someone to find him. It wasn’t long for all of the emotional trauma of the day to catch up to him and for him to fall asleep.

The next thing he knew, his dad was holding him in his arms and he fell asleep in a car that definitely wasn’t their family pickup truck.

 

 

It’s the following morning when Angus wakes up. The air mattress beneath him wobbles as he climbs out of it, the sheets wrapped around his limbs to try and pull him back in. He blinks the lingering fatigue out of his eyes and yawns. There is a nasty milky aftertaste in his mouth from the cereal he ate yesterday morning; the last thing he has eaten in the past twenty-four hours. As if on cue, his stomach gurgles loudly, demanding sustenance.

Angus grabs his glasses off of the nightstand by the guest bed before leaving the room. For a second, he debates over whether or not to change into new clothes, perhaps an outfit that he wasn’t worn for a full day that is covered in dirt and tree sap. However, he catches a heavenly scent wafting through the crack in the door and his stomach takes control. Food now, clothes later.

The smell carries out through the hallway and into the living room, which is empty. However, standing in the kitchen is Taako, whisking something up in a large glass bowl. His face is pulled into a sharp gaze, his focus entirely devoted to making sure the contents inside are stirred to perfection. Behind Taako, the buzzer on the stove goes off and he quickly turns his attention away from the bowl. He slides on a pair of oven mitts and carefully pulls out a hot pan of dough.

And Angus is left reeling.

“ _ Dad? _ ”

Taako jumps, but his hold on the pan does not falter. “Oh...good morning, Ango. Come grab a stool.”

He sets the pan down on the stovetop and returns to his bowl. Angus stares at him, completely dumbstruck. This is more than just a bit bizarre. This is a fever dream so surreal Angus is convinced he may still be asleep.

After a few more whisks, Taako grabs a frying pan and sets it down next to the other pan. Then he lifts the bowl up and pours the contents into the frying pan and turns up the heat. “What kind of eggs are you in the mood for? I’m making enough scrambled for everyone, but I can make you one over easy if you’d like?”

“Uh...scrambled is fine,” Angus answers, his steps slow and unsteady as if he’s trudging through molasses. The bar stool screeches quietly as he pulls it back and wobbles when he sits down on it. “Dad, what are you  _ doing? _ ”

Taako sets the now empty bowl into the sink and turns on the faucet. “Exactly what it looks like. I’m cooking.”

There isn’t a hint of uncertainty in his voice. It’s as if he wakes up and cooks a breakfast big enough for seven people every morning.

“Horseshit.”

“Whoa there, pumpkin. You’re still a bit young to start swearing like me,” Taako scolds him.

“This isn’t...you don’t... _ what?! Why?! _ ”

Nothing about this scene should be making Angus so frustrated, and yet everything is. The way his dad moves around the kitchen like he was born in it, the quiet sizzle of the eggs as they cook, the steam rising off of the dough in the pan.

What the  _ everloving fudge  _ is going on?

The bottom cabinets in Magnus’ kitchen intersect on the right side of the room, forming a corner where a tin full of culinary tools patiently sit and wait to be used. Taako pulls a spatula out of the tin and starts pushing the eggs around the frying pan as they continue to cook.

“I told you I was going to tell you everything, right? And...and cooking always helped me think. So where do you want me to start, boychick?”

Angus is a very smart little boy, smart enough to see through Taako’s veil and see he’s not bullshitting him. “You’re really...going to talk about why you don’t cook?”

“Yes.”

Angus thinks for a moment. “That guy said you went to culinary school?”

“Yeah, okay, that’s probably a good place to start.” Taako scoops up a chunk of egg and flips it over. The eggs fly through the air and land gracefully back in the frying pan. “Actually, let me take a step back. There needs to be a little context as to why. You see...I started cooking when I was living with my aunt and _ your _ aunt, Lup.”

Angus’ eyes widen. “I have an aunt?”

“Hopefully. Our aunt took us in after our parents couldn’t take care of us anymore. We were pretty young so she really turned into our mom. Anyway, she worked long shifts at a local hospital so me and Lup-Lup and I?-whatever, doesn't matter. We had to learn how to make dinner for ourselves. Our aunt taught us the basics and we just got better as time went on. It was...it was nice. I was more into savory dishes and Lup was always baking things.”

As he continues talking, Taako grabs a salt and pepper shaker and seasons the eggs, which are almost fully scrambled. “When we turned nine, or maybe ten? It was a long time ago. Our aunt died. It came out of nowhere and before we knew it, we were in foster care, just like you were.”

Memories of his own time in foster care resurface in Angus’ brain. He had only been with one family for about half a year, but Taako and Lup were bounced around for over two years. Angus can’t imagine Taako feeling everything he did for that long.

“And that’s how you ended up getting adopted,” Angus concludes.

“That’s right.” Taako eyes over the other pan and abandons the spatula by the side of the stove. Sliding back on his oven mitts, he grabs a plate and flips the pan over it. A large, fluffy pancake falls onto the plate. Bits of chopped-up apple covered in cinnamon are covering what is now the top, slowly trickling over the sides and absorbing through the dough.

Angus has never seen any pancake quite like it, but the question on his mind is bothering him more. “What...what happened to Aunt Lup?”

Taako reaches for the spatula again and grips it tightly. “Angus, do you know what it means to be trans?”

Angus shakes his head. “Is that...was Lup sick? Did she…?

“What?” Taako sets the spatula back down. “Oh, no! No, Lup wasn’t sick. She’s still alive. Or at least...I think she is. No, you see, Lup is a trans woman. That means she was born as a boy but realized she was meant to be a girl instead. Does that make sense?”

“I...I think,” Angus replies truthfully.

“I can explain it better, but all you need to understand for right now is that growing up was tough for Lup. Her body was changing and it wasn’t the kind of change she wanted to see. We were taken in by this really nice family, who could give Lup the help she would need to feel better about herself...but they didn’t have enough money to raise both of us so we were separated.”

Taako grabs the spatula again and returns to the eggs. “Shit. Almost overcooked them.” Before he goes on with his story, he rushes to grab another plate to set the now scrambled eggs on. “It wasn’t long after that that your grandpa took me in and adopted me. I still kept cooking after that. Your Uncle Magnus couldn’t even heat up soup to save his life.” Taako chuckles at his own quip.

“D-Did you two not keep in touch?”

“We didn’t have phones back then. We were planning on writing to each other, but her new family ended up moving and I never got their new address.”

Taako’s voice is steady and calculated, as if he has been thinking about exactly what words he was going to say since he woke up. However, there are moments when Angus catches himself fumbling after he says something really personal. “I haven’t even gotten to school yet. I’m gonna fast forward to after high school. I was dead set on going to culinary school. Nothing was going to steer me away from the idea. I spent all summer saving up money for this one school right in Chicago. The acceptance rate has high enough I knew I could get in but was a good enough school to know I was gonna be taught well.”

Pulling open one of the cabinet drawers, Taako pulls out a fork and a knife. He spends a moment eyeing over the apple-pancake before cutting into it like a pie. “I made it in, of course. Once I got the money, my application was accepted with flying colors. For two semesters, I was riding high. Acing my classes and showing up everybody else.” Taako smiles. “I kinda made myself the example student? Besides the fact that I acted like a little shit, all of my teachers loved what I made.”

Then Taako’s smile falls. “But of course, something had to go wrong, right?”

Pulling out another plate, Taako slides a piece of the apple-pancake onto it and scoops up a serving of scrambled eggs to put on the side. “That guy who was yelling at me was my old roommate, Sazed Aeron. I don’t know if it was because I helped him out too much in class or treated him badly-no...it was probably both. I wasn’t that…”great” a person before I met you. I wasn’t mean or anything. I just...had a specific choice of humor. Didn’t really help I was super direct. Anyway, that’s not important. What is important is that I pissed him off the night before finals by refusing to help him out.”

Angus is too engrossed in the story to notice Taako slide him the plate. “Hey,” he holds out a fork, “Tell me what you think. It’s a fluffy oven pancake. My aunt’s favorite.” Angus hesitantly takes the fork and tears out a chunk of the pancake.

The pancake hits Angus’ tongue in that moment, a bond is rekindled. All of the flavors, the spicy cinnamon and sweet apple blend together with the texture of the pancake to form a delectable masterpiece. It starts to mend something inside of Angus, something that was broken inside the funeral home that was already crumbling away years before.

Sure, it’s just a pancake, but it’s the most important bite of food Angus has ever had.

He looks up at his dad and smiles. “It’s delicious.”

Even with the newly-formed tears in his eyes, Taako has never looked happier.

“So what did Sazed to do you?”

Taako turns back around and grabs a new plate. Taking his time, he fixes himself a new portion of the fluffy oven pancake and some eggs. Once he’s done, he walks over to the other side of the breakfast bar and takes a seat in the other bar stool. “He ripped up the recipe I was gonna use for our finals test. We had to cook a full-course meal in a certain amount of time. The entree I was gonna use required me to follow the instructions  _ exactly _ how they were written or else the favors just wouldn’t work. My...my head wasn’t in the game.  I was mad at Sazed and...worried about your Aunt Julia. I-It was a week before she passed and she wasn’t...d-doing so good.”

When his words start to waver, Taako takes a bite of his food and lets out a heavy sigh. “My entree was a disaster and I was humiliated. I was the student who always made the grade and then...my food was basically  _ inedible _ . And then everybody started getting  _ sick _ . I don’t know if it was the garlic or the chicken or the sauce but...b-but...it was bad. One kid had to be  _ hospitalized _ -”

Taako takes another bite, but this time he looks like he is going to throw it back up. “My teacher pulled me aside after everything calmed down and asked me what the hell happened. My classmates looked at me like I was some kind of...I don’t even know how to describe it, but it made me feel... _ smaller _ . It was  _ devastating _ .

“I confronted Sazed and...well, we had a conversation not too different from the one we had yesterday. We even ended up getting in a fist fight. The school we went to had zero tolerance for violence and...before I knew it, we were both expelled and  _ Julia _ …”

The weight of the story weighs heavily on Taako and it’s evident how his hands have started shaking. Angus sets his fork down. This...this is why. This is everything he has ever wanted to know. Now he understands- _ truly _ understands why it was so hard for his dad to talk about his past. Taako just didn’t lose his dream job. He lost his sister, his reputation, his _ confidence,  _ and then Julia. So much of that had taken place in such a short amount of time.

But Taako isn’t done talking yet. “You asked me once why I don’t date anymore. You remember that?”

Angus nods.

“After Julia died...your Uncle Magnus didn’t take it well. He still hasn’t. But seeing how depressed he became after she left...I couldn’t find the strength to risk going through something like that. But I considered it after I adopted you. Angus...you’re my entire world now. I try my best to be the best dad I can...but I guessed I goofed that up, huh?”

Angus frowns. “Dad, that’s not true. It means so much to me that you finally told me all of this.  It...it made me mad that you wouldn’t tell me why you didn’t cook, but now that you did, I know why it was hard for you to. If I had to tell someone about...a-about Neverwinter, I don’t think I could do it....but maybe I can be as brave as you are. I love you dad.”

Taako beams. He sets his fork down and wraps his arms around Angus, who hugs him right back. “I love you, too, Ango. I may not be the best but I’d do anything for you. I’m not going to let Sazed get to me anymore. He doesn’t get to control me. From now on, you get to know anything you want to. No more secrets. No more bottling things up. Capiche?”

“I got it,” Angus agrees and Taako lets him go. The two of them return to their plates, enjoying every bite they take.

Before long, the rest of the family wanders into the kitchen, having also been enticed by the sweet aroma emanating off of the oven pancake. Taako helps to serve Mavis and Mooky and sacrifices his barstool so the younger of the two can sit down. Hekuba enters and fills her own plate, offering a compliment to Taako that for once...doesn’t seem forced.

Merle, still fighting off the last remnants of sleep, automatically moves to make a plate for himself without asking there the food came from. It’s not until after he takes his first bite that he finally asks, “Taako? Did you make this?!”

There isn’t enough seating for everyone, so the three adults ban together to flip the couch around so everyone can face towards each other as they eat. Taako sits on the left armrest while Mavis crams herself between her two parents. Conversation is passed around and every word they share with each other is pleasant. Angus helps himself to a second helping once his plate has been licked clean.

When he sits back down, Angus notices Magnus sneak around the corner of the hallway’s opening from the corner of his eye. Before he can call out to him, Magnus disappears down the steps to the basement. He doesn’t say anything to everyone else, afraid that he may ruin the peaceful atmosphere they have all built together.

But minutes later, Magnus reappears. He emerges from the basement and into the kitchen, somewhat doubtful, with a wooden dining chair in his arms.

Angus watches as Taako and Merle’s jaws drop, both nearly dropping their plates onto the carpet below. Without saying a word, Magnus sets the chair next to where Taako is sitting and retreats back into the basement. Everyone is silent when he comes back with a second chair and sets it between the other one and Angus’ barstool.

Magnus watches them, looking like he is ready to bolt at any minute before Taako stands up and sits in the first chair.

“Thank you, Mags. Go make yourself a plate before the food gets cold.”

Magnus smiles and soon returns with what must be five helpings of scrambled eggs and two slices of the oven pancake.

Even after all of them are done eating, Angus’ family, both related by blood and by bond, laughs at various stories shared around the group. Merle tells them about the time he fell in a hotel Koi pond on his and Hekuba’s first honeymoon. Hekuba follows up with a story about how he had such a hard time assembling Mavis’ bassinet and how they had to ask Magnus to carve one for them. The two of them seem much more comfortable with each other, their unspoken hostility gone. Angus wonders why that it.

Time passes by but no one runs out of things to say and to reminisce about. Everyone has a smile on their face and a belly full of what must be the best breakfast Angus has had in a long time. As everyone continues talking, Angus looks over at Taako, and notices how at ease he looks. The fragile grins he has been pulling off the past two days are gone, now replaced with genuine expressions that he shares without hesitation.

For the first time in a long time, Taako seems at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE fluffy oven pancakes. Go look up a recipe. They're SO GOOD.
> 
> Heads up! The next chapter will be the last chapter for Six Years. BUT! a sequel is currently in the works and will be going up not long after this fic is done. Thank you all for sticking along for the ride. It means so much to us.


	18. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes full circle.....until it doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy National Fajita Day everybody!
> 
> If I even think about Magnus I start crying that finale messed up my shOP

_ One Year Later _

 

“Carey…Joaquin...Killian…”

Taako is scrolling through his phone contacts, hastily scrolling past a dozen different numbers to find the one he’s looking for. Why he never took the time to set a speed dial for the person, he will never know.

Suddenly, the timer on the stove goes off, blaring a terrible buzzing noise throughout the entire house.

“AH!” Without meaning to, his thumb taps against the screen and his phone begins to dial. He quickly looks down and sees that instead of trying to call his boyfriend, he is now trying to call his restaurant assistant, Ren.

“Shit,” he murmurs underneath his breath. “HEY, SOMEBODY COME GRAB THE LASAGNA OUT OF THE OVEN!”

“COMING!” Magnus rushes into the kitchen, pushing past Taako who is attempting to hang up the call. He throws open the stove and reaches inside.

Taako looks up from his phone and catches his brother literally moments away from putting his hands into a 375 **°** box of metal. “MAGS, PUT OVEN MITTS ON, YOU DOOFUS!”

“Oops, sorry!” Magnus plucks the pair of nearby oven mitts off of the counter and covers up his hands. There was no need for there to be two trips to the emergency room two years in a row. Taako lets out a sigh and shakes his head. 

“ _ Taako? Taako, are you there?” _

“Oh, f-Hey Ren!” Taako holds his phone up to his ear. “Listen, sorry, I called the wrong per-”

“ _ How’s your trip?! Did you tell your family hi for me?! _ ” Ren is the embodiment of cheerfulness, and if Taako weren’t currently trying to rondevu with someone else while also cooking dinner for eight people, he would try to strike up an actual conversation with her.

“No I-REN SAYS HI EVERYONE! There, I did it. Now listen, Ren-”

“Who’s Ren?” Merle asks as he wanders into the kitchen. Upon seeing the pan of lasagna sitting on the counter, he reaches up to pick at the melted cheese on top.

Taako smacks his hand away. “My assistant. Stop swiping! We’re gonna eat soon!”

“I wasn’t even gonna take that much,” Merle grumbles before walking to the other side of the kitchen. He grabs a set of plates and makes his way over to the dining room table, where Hekuba is already setting out silverware.

Taako turns his attention back to his phone “Sorry, I was yelling at my dad. Listen, Ren, I gotta go. This was an accident. I didn’t mean to disrupt your evening or whatever-”

“ _ Oh no, you’re just fine! _ ” Taako can hear her smiling on the other side of the line. “ _ You didn’t bother me or nothin’. Everything’s still fine over here, just so you know! _ ”

“That’s great. Okay, I’m gonna hang up now-”

“ _ Okay-! _ ”

“Ren, really I gotta-”

“ _ If you need anything, I’m on standby- _ ”

“I know, alright-”

“ _ Seriously, anything at all-! _ ”

“Ren, I’m really going now. Bye!”

“ _ Bye Taako-! _ ”

Taako hangs up the call and immediately goes back to his contacts list, scrolling even fast through all the people listed. The sun has started to go down and all seven of them are about to sit down for dinner without his invited guest. Taako’s mind starts to access his worst case scenarios. What if the traffic in town is bad? What if his guest decided not to come? What if he got sick? What if-

Suddenly, his phone starts ringing. Kravitz’ name pops up on the screen, as well as his profile picture, which Taako took of him on one of their many dates after the promise he made exactly a year ago to this day. Taako is mesmerized by with his goofy grin and dimples, his bird-printed button up, and just...everything about him. He’s fallen and he has fallen hard.

He holds the phone back up to his ear. “Krav! Where are you?! My family is starving and they’re gonna assassinate my lasagna at any minute!”

On the other side of the line, Kravitz laughs, and Taako feels a blush rise to his cheeks. “ _ I’m on my way! Sorry, I was late getting out onto the road. No one in your family is allergic to peanuts, right? _ ”

“Why do you-?...Krav, I’m allergic to peanuts. You know that.”

“ _ I know that. I’m just joking. _ ” Taako smirks. “ _ I was just thinking...t-this is the first time I’m going to meet your family without one of them getting arrested or while surrounded by a bunch of dead people and...uh… _ ”

“Oh, babe, you don’t have to worry about impressing them.  _ Believe me _ , you don’t. All you really needed was Ango’s approval and you’ve  _ defo _ got that, my dude.”

“ _ That’s reassuring...but just in case, I may have attempted to bake a cake? _ ” Taako can't help the snort that comes out of him. “ _ Hopefully it tastes good. I tried to remember everything you taught me, but...cakes aren’t supposed to be lopsided, right? _ ”

“Well... _ nooooo _ . But I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Taako reassures him. “That’s actually really adorable, Krav.”

“ _ Ah, well _ ,” Kravitz says sheepishly, “ _ It’s only fair I bring something after you invited me. Listen, I’m almost there so I’m going to go, okay? _ ”

“I hear ya. Drive safe, darling. See you soon.”

“ _ Bye Taako. I love you _ .”

It’s certainly not the first time Kravitz has proclaimed his affection towards him, but it makes Taako’s heart just like it is. “Love you, too. Bye.” He hangs up and watches the screen go dark before tucking his phone away. With his doubts vanquished, now all he has to focus on is making sure all of the food he has prepared makes int onto the dining table without being sampled by impatient family members first.

“Was that Kravitz?” Taako looks to his side and sees Angus smiling up at him. He is quite taller than last year, certainly taller than the last time him and Kravitz ever met in person. It’s not the first growth spurt the kid has had, and the fact that it may not be the last gives Taako that parental urge to keep him small forever.  However, there is no way he would ever try to force his son to be an adolescent forever.

Still, the feeling is bittersweet.

“Yeah,” Taako replies, barely aware of how his voice almost  _ swoons _ . “He’ll be here soon. The poor guy tried to bake a cake for everyone.”

Angus cringes. “Yeesh. That couldn't have turned out well.”

“Well, we’re about to find out because he’s bringing it with him. Don’t worry, you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. He’ll understand.”

“I don’t want to seem rude but…”

“No, Ango, it’s okay. He can’t cook anything to save his life. He knows that.”

“Thank you, dad. Is there anything I can help with?”

Taako thinks for a moment. “Hmmm, you can grab yourself something to drink and go take a seat. Oh! Maybe help Mooky get his too, okay? You remember what happened the last time grandpa let him pour a glass of milk for himself?”

Angus shuddrers. “Right. I’ll do that.” Taako ruffles his hair and he smiles.

Then Taako returns to work. The lasagna is still settling, but he still needs to get the garlic bread in the oven and check on the green beans boiling on the stove top and put the fruit salad in a serving container and start chopping up the  _ actual _ salad and-

-and frankly, he needs more hands on deck, now that he’s thinking about it.

“Need any help?”

As if some god were watching Taako at that exact moment, a miracle has been sent his way. He turns to Hekuba, who is already slipping on a pair of oven mitts. “Yes, thank  _ God _ . Can you strain the green beans for me? I can get them seasoned.”

“On it.” Hekuba opens up a cabinet and pulls out a pot strainer. “You still need that salad chopped up?”

“Yeah.” Taako grabs a bottle of garlic powder and shakes it over the pieces of buttered toast in front of him. “The romaine lettuce is ready but I still gotta die up the tomatoes and the red pepper-”

“Don’t forget carrots.”

“ _ Right _ , of course! Christ, those gotta get shredded. Where did I put the-?”

“Shredder?” Taako looks behind him just as Hekuba sets down the shredder on the kitchen island. “I’ll take care of carrots if you can get the rest.”

“Thanks, Ms. Roughridge-”

“Pssh,” Hekuba waves a hand at him. “How many times to I have to tell you, kid. Just call me Hekuba.” She smiles fondly at him and Taako can’t help but return the expression. Last year, she and Merle had decided to get another divorce, but they were still on friendly grounds. Something must have been discussed between the two of them, but whatever they said, Taako will never know. As the year went on, the two of them have started acting more like close friends and Hekuba has opened up tremendously. Her previous demeanor has long since disappeared and has been replaced with a lady that Taako genuinely enjoys being around. She’s kind, outgoing, and surprisingly snarky.

Slowly, she is becoming the mother Taako never had. Not that he would ever tell her that. A little more time needs to pass before he’s ready to drop that bombshell.

With her help, the two of them manage to get everything on the table a whole lot faster than Taako could have ever on his own. Kravitz shows up a few minutes before everyone starts chowing down with his lopsided cake, which actually looks  _ way worse _ in person than how he described it over the phone. But the state of the cake doesn’t matter. Everyone greets him warmly and when Taako goes in for a surprise welcome smooth, they all tease him about how hard he’s blushing.

The food tastes incredible, as always, even if it’s just a simple lasagna and some side dishes. Through bites, a conversation is passed around. Hekuba demands that Taako give her his lasagna recipe so she can show up everyone at her book club. Mooky tries to build a fortress out of his green beans and garlic bread and Mavis has to constantly ask him to stop. Merle traps Kravitz into listening about one of his many church stories ( _ “And you wouldn’t believe how bad John is at lighting the candles! The guy tries, he really does, but he almost set himself on fire!” _ ).

Kravitz sits patiently though the entire story, but his distress is easily palpable. Taako can’t blame him; the first dinner with your boyfriend’s family is stressful as hell. But as time goes on, Kravitz seems to grow more comfortable around everyone. His shoulders loosen, his expressions become less artificial. Soon enough he starts telling his own stories about his misadventures at the funeral home.

He’s so cute when he goes off about his job, Taako has to resist the urge to kiss him right then and there.

They finish up with dinner and move on to dessert. Magnus dives right into the cake, having the stomach of a goat and the brain of a walnut, and takes the first piece. After taking one bite, his expression goes sour and he tries to discreetly spit the mouthful into a napkin.

“I’m sorry,” Kravitz apologizes. “I-I tried to bake something edible this time, but I guessed I goofed it up, huh?”

“No no! It’s fine!” Magnus tries to convince him. “It’s just...um...I’m allergic to sugar!”

Kravitz face falls. The lie is a critical failure on convincing him otherwise.

“It’s okay, babe.” Taako gives him a quick peck on the cheek. “How about you help me and Ango whip up some brownies real quick? How does brownies sound, everybody?”

“BROWNIES! BROWNIES!” Mooky chants incessantly.

Kravitz smiles. “Yeah, that sounds really fun. Magnus, you can throw that monstrosity out if you’d like.”

“Oh thank  _ God _ .” Magnus chucks Kravitz’ cake into the garbage can like he is Lebron fucking James.

Taako has no idea how he went six years without cooking, but what boggles his mind even more is how he ever went without cooking with Angus. The kid is always so eager to help and makes what is already an enjoyable experience a thousand times better. He has learned so much from Taako in the past year that he almost doesn’t need help with the brownies. Kravitz, however, does, and Angus is ever so patient with the man.

“Sir, can you hand me the whisk?...No, no-Sir! Sir, those are tongs. It’s over- _ no _ , no that’s a spatula. _ It’s right over-!  _ Sir, to your left. To your- _ No, _ no that’s-yes  _ thank you _ .”

With their combined efforts, they get the brownies in the oven and set the timer for twenty minutes at 400°. Ten minutes later, the heavenly scent of chocolate wafts throughout the house.

_ This must all be a dream _ , Taako thinks. Interacting with his family on October 14th without squabbling. Spending time with his boyfriend and having him meet the family. Eating around Magnus’ dining room table, the one he carved himself that is no longer in the basement. Cooking with Angus and Kravitz.  _ Cooking _ .

It all has to be too good to be true.

But it is true, and all of their lives have changed for the better, and for the first time in years, Taako is happy. Truly happy. He is himself again. He is  _ home _ .

In his pocket, Taako feels his phone vibrate before it starts ringing. Curious, he pulls it out and looks at the screen.

“Who is it, dad?” Angus asks, peeking over Taako’s shoulder.

“Don’t know kiddo. Area code is for here, though.”

“Whoever it is probably just dialed the wrong number,” Kravitz suggests.

“Yeah...sounds about right…” Taako says before something heavy settles in at the bottom of his stomach. An inkling of suspicion seeps into his brain, begging him to pick up the call instead of ignoring it like he was planning to do. Somewhat hesitantly, he accepts the call.

“Hello? This is Taako?”

There’s a gasp on the other end of the line that sends chills up his spine. “T-Taako?  _ Is it really _ you?”

“Y-Yeah, the one and only. Is this a business call? Sorry, but I’m off on family vacation. You’re gonna need to call the actual restaurant number-”

“ _ Taako, it’s me! It’s me, it’s  _ Lup!”

Taako has a family. A family not related by blood but by love and they are all around him, in this house, forever in his life. Despite the damage done those past six years, they have given him everything he has needed to grow into the person he has become. They have given him a home. His home.

But that family could never give him back his sister. No matter how much love he received, a part of him has always been sheltered from that affection. Over time, it has been broken, withered down, and abandoned. It’s a piece of heart that refuses to beat, because how could he live without his second half?

Now his heart is beating and he has never felt so  _ whole _ .

“.. _.Lup? _ ”

Angus jumps. “Dad...is it really-?”

“Lup, L-Lup where  _ are you? _ Where have you  _ been?! _ ”

“ _ I-I’m right here! I’m right here-I’m still in Lynchburg! Oh my God,  _ Taako _ -T-Taako, I never  _ thought-!”

“ _ Where _ , Lup? Where in Lynchburg. Lup,  _ where-? _ ”

They’re both speaking so fast, their voices trembling and Taako fears he may break down before she answers him. Lup’s address comes out of her mouth in stutters, like a train moments before it falls off the railroad tracks, but Taako catches it. He holds onto her words like a lifeline.

He turns to Magnus. The truck’s keys are already in his hands. “Let’s go.”

They’re out the door mere moments later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks.
> 
> First off, I can't thank the McElroy family enough for making this wonderful podcast. MLA introduced it to me months ago when I was going through a rough patch in my life and listening to the episodes helped me to get through the day. Thank you MLA for being the best friend and beta anyone could ever have. I love you.
> 
> Second off, I want to thank all of you for reading this fic. I know I say it with every update and I end all my responses to comments the same way but I truly mean it. Thank you. There was a lot of personal stuff I threw into this thing and your positive reactions have been greatly appreciated. Through writing about my emotional baggage in this, I have been able to cope with some stuff and I believe it has greatly improved my mental health. So my advice to you is that even if you think you aren't a "good writer," writing about your feelings DOES HELP make you feel better. It gives you time to take in what happened and why you feel this way.
> 
> Again, I can't thank you all enough.
> 
> The sequel will be out soon! Updates won't be as frequent as Six Years because school has taken away ALL of my free time, but I'll try my best to give you all the TAZ content we need in these trying times. Also, a heads up, the sequel is going to be shorter, just because the plot I have formed in my head doesn't require nearly five chapters dedicated to finding a missing Ango. No one goes missing in the second one, spoilers.
> 
> Until then, bye everybody!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading or absent-mindedly scrolling! Have a great day.
> 
> tumblr that I almost never visit: cinnamonrollsenpai


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